Shannon's Sweet Valley High Blog

The moral of the story: It’s really tough to be black in Sweet Valley.

The Big Deal: PBA swim party

Synopsis:

Annie Whitman’s mother, who is a model, comes home from a photo shoot in New York and tells Annie she’s been seeing a photographer named Walter Thomas. Walter has asked her to marry him and she’s accepted, so he and his daughter, Cheryl, are coming out to Sweet Valley to meet Annie and look for a place to live. Then Mona says Walter and Cheryl are black. Annie doesn’t care.

Tony Esteban calls later that night. Annie broke up with him when she found out he was seeing another girl behind her back. He’s stopped seeing his other chick and wants to get back together with Annie. Annie still loves him and all her friends think she should give him another chance, but she doesn’t want to get hurt again.

The Wakefields’ next door neighbors, the Beckwiths, have moved away, and one morning, Jessica sees a realtor take down the for sale sign. She goes next door and finds Annie and her mother. Annie tells the twins about her mother’s upcoming marriage, and Jessica is super excited that Mona is marrying a famous photographer. She knows all about Walter and Cheryl because of some article she read in a magazine. She thinks Walter is really talented and Cheryl is stylish and can’t wait to meet them. Annie acts a little weird and tells Jessica not to tell anyone her news.

Annie keeps telling herself she doesn’t have a problem with Walter and Cheryl being black. She’s concerned about what other people are going to think so she doesn’t tell anyone, and when she thinks Jessica is going to blurt it out, she changes the subject. Meanwhile, Tony keeps pestering her and asking her to get back together. She tells him she has too much on her mind to deal with him.

Annie and her mother pick up Walter and Cheryl from the airport. Annie and Cheryl get along, but when they realize how different Sweet Valley is from New York, Cheryl gets kind of bummed out. Annie wonders how Cheryl feels about Annie and her mother being white. Later, as the girls are getting ready for bed, Annie asks Cheryl how she feels about moving to California. Cheryl says she’s glad her father is happy, but that California is so different from New York. Annie wonders if she means because there aren’t very many black people. Annie needs to get over the race thing, for real.

The next morning, Annie and Cheryl drive over to the new house to get ready for the movers. On the car ride over, they get along really well, but as soon as they’re at the house and the twins come over, Annie gets weird. She and Cheryl go upstairs to pick out their bedrooms, and Annie gets all weird again because she really wanted the bedroom Cheryl picked, but didn’t say anything. Things are better by the end of the day and Cheryl is looking forward to the party Annie is throwing for her.

The party is a little weird because everyone who shows up is surprised to find that Cheryl is black. They’re not upset or anything, they just don’t know why Annie didn’t mention it. And everyone, Cheryl included, is puzzled by the number of black and Hispanic people Annie invited because most of them are people she’s not close to. Cheryl asks Annie about it, and Annie runs off and cries in the kitchen. She thinks Cheryl will never forgive her for embarrassing her. God, she’s such a drama queen.

Annie figures she’ll make things better if she includes Cheryl in everything she does. She takes her to the Dairi Burger, Casey’s, the beach, the mall, Guido’s and the Wakefields’ pool. It’s clear to us, if not to Annie, that Cheryl is a little overwhelmed. Annie notices Cheryl isn’t a hundred percent overjoyed and thinks that means she just needs to try harder.

Annie makes Cheryl go to a football game. Since Annie’s cheering, Cheryl gets a ride with the Wakefields. When Liz and Todd go to get some refreshments, Cheryl takes out a book and starts reading. Steve notices and starts to teach her the rules of football. They start talking, and Steve offers to teach Cheryl how to drive since she can’t just walk everywhere like she did in New York. Cheryl has a good time with Steve and actually manages to drive around the school parking lot without stalling.

Annie tells Cheryl she wants to nominate her for membership in Pi Beta Alpha. Cheryl doesn’t seem all that interested, but Annie pushes until Cheryl agrees. At the next meeting, the motion is carried, but Suzanne Hanlon seems unhappy about it. Suzanne is having a PBA swim party on Friday for the members to get to know Cheryl and the other potential pledge, and she basically blackmails Annie into making all the food for the party. If she doesn’t, she’ll blackball Cheryl.

The next day after school, Todd is giving Cheryl, Rosa and Liz a ride home. Cheryl starts talking to Rosa about how much she misses her piano, which hasn’t arrived from New York yet. Rosa invites her over to play her mother’s piano, and Liz tags along. Cheryl asks Liz what happened at the PBA meeting the night before, and Rosa ends up telling Cheryl she’s happier for not joining. When Liz and Cheryl are walking home, Tony rides up on his bike and asks how Annie is doing. Liz explains that Annie and Tony used to date, and Tony tells Cheryl what an idiot he was and that he wishes Annie would talk to him. When Cheryl gets home, she tells Annie what Tony said, but Annie is still afraid of getting hurt. She changes the subject and mentions Suzanne’s swim party. Cheryl says she’ll only go if Annie invites Tony.

Why does everyone want Annie to get back together with a douchebag who cheated on her?

At the party, Annie and Tony get back together. Later, when Lila asks Cheryl to come up and say a few words, Cheryl diplomatically says she would like to withdraw her name. Once everyone gets over their shock and the party is back in motion, Annie starts going off on Cheryl, saying she went out of her way to get the PBAs to nominate her and even let Suzanne blackmail her, and Cheryl isn’t even grateful. Cheryl makes a good point about the fact that Annie should have asked if she even wanted to join the sorority, but then ruins her credibility with me when she says something about Annie expecting her to be grateful like all white people expect black people to be grateful to them for trying to turn them into white people. Ah, go hang out with Andy and talk about Dr. King.

The next morning, Steve Wakefield is sitting by the pool when he sees Cheryl next door. He invites her to sit with him, and she tells him all about her fight with Annie. She says they were both out of line at the party and have been misunderstanding each other from the beginning. Steve compares them to Liz and Jessica and says the twins are as different as Cheryl and Annie are. Because it all comes back to the damned twins. Then Annie runs over all upset because she just got a call that her mother is in the hospital. She collapsed at the store. Steve drives them to the hospital, and once the doctor tells them it was just Mona’s appendix and she’ll be fine, Cheryl and Annie spend all of half a page apologizing and suddenly everything is all better. Hooray.

Quotes:

“I know Andy did have that trouble with Charlie Cashman, but aside from that I don’t think he or any of the other black kids have had much reason to feel uncomfortable at Sweet Valley High.”

“That trouble?” Liz makes it sound like they had a little disagreement at a tea party. Andy got jumped by five guys in a parking lot. He got punched in the stomach by his best friend. He had to go to the hospital.

“Sweet Valley sounds like something out of a 1950’s beach-party movie – football, cheerleaders, sororities, surfing. I suppose you have a burger joint, too?”

I was wondering when someone was going to notice. Good job, Cheryl.

The Cover: Argh, I hate both their hairstyles. And their clothes. And their earrings. And the fact that they both look like they’re older than me.

The moral of the story: Don’t read any books with Sara Eastborne as the main character.

The Big Deal: Lila’s beach party, pool party at the Wakefields’ house

Synopsis:

Today we meet Sara Eastborne, who recently moved to town with her mother and who seems terrified of her twin brother, Tim. Sara is very mysterious about her brother and tells everyone he stayed on the east coast with her father after their parents got divorced. In reality, Tim is in reform school because he drinks, does drugs and stole a car. Sara’s mom gets a letter from Tim and tries to tell Sara to stop being so hard on him because he’s really cleaned up his act, but Sara says he’s an embarrassment to the family. Her mother tries to tell her to go to Alateen, the teen version of Al-Anon, but Sara doesn’t think she needs help because everything would be fine if Tim would just change his ways.

Sara goes to dinner with her boyfriend, Bob, that night. It’s her first time meeting his parents and they’re going to the country club. Bob’s parents are total snobs. Sara tunes them out and then looks stupid when she doesn’t hear a question Bob’s mother asks her. After dinner, Bob tells Sara she really blew it with his parents. Sara gets mad for a second, but does the Sweet Valley girl thing and apologizes to Bob. He asks her to a beach party Lila’s throwing and Sara is relieved that he still wants to date her. At the party, Sara is distracted because she’s thinking about all her problems (what problems?), and Bob gets mad at her for not having a good time. When she gets home, her mother tells her Tim is moving to Sweet Valley. Sara is terrified that she’ll lose her prince of a boyfriend. Ugh. When Tim gets to town, Sara tells him she’s been lying about his past and he just better not ruin things for her by telling anyone the truth.

Liz writes an article about Sweet Valley’s battered women’s shelter and everyone praises her and tells her how much she’s helping society by writing articles like this. Blah. She’s doing a whole series about different programs, and she sits in on an AA meeting. She meets Tim and hears his whole story about the things he did and the way his sister is treating him. Liz and Tim talk after the meeting, and Liz offers to show him around school the next day.

Over the next few days, Tim becomes pretty popular. He starts dating Sara’s best friend, Amanda, and becomes close with Liz and Todd. Then Crunch McAllister’s van gets stolen, and Tim is the prime suspect. His whole past comes out. Amanda is pissed at Sara for not telling her the truth about Tim because best friends are supposed to share everything. Bob breaks up with Sara, but come on, he’s a jackass anyway, right?

Sara blames all her problems on Tim, who takes it pretty well. Sara finally tells Tim she thinks it’s his fault their parents got divorced. Tim is hurt and tells Sara their parents were having problems long before he stole that car. He tells Sara she should go to Alateen. And she does one day, but only after Liz asks her to go with her. ‘Cause it’s always Liz. After that, everything magically turns around. Sara and Amanda make up, Tim and Amanda make up, Tim gets cleared of all charges regarding Crunch’s van, Sara realizes she never really liked Bob, anyway, and everyone goes to an awesome pool party at the Wakefields’ house.

In other news, Jessica is still all annoyed at the things she has to do as Miss Teen Sweet Valley, and Liz ends up posing as her and passing out cheese samples at the mall while wearing a formal dress and a tiara. Why? So Jessica can accept a date to go surfing with some guy.

This book made me want to scream. I mean, more than usual. The quotes below are just a taste of the horrors I endured. Sara’s an obnoxious martyr and I hate Liz and this just wasn’t fun at all.

Quotes:

Bob grinned. “Wear that white swimsuit you bought last week, OK?” he said. “I want all the other guys to wish you were their girlfriend.”

Sara felt vaguely uncomfortable, but she ignored the sensation. Bob just wanted her to look her best, she figured. There was nothing wrong with that.

If there are any young girls in the audience, just remember that if something makes you uncomfortable, then there is something wrong with it.

For a moment, Sara was furious. Then she remembered how much she liked Bob Hillman, and how popular he was at school.

Somebody kill me.

Because she knew it was important to Bob that she appear to be having a good time, Sara threw herself into the volleyball tournament.

Why isn’t it important to Bob that you actually have a good time?

Elizabeth and the Number 137!

He didn’t need to tear other kids down to feel good about himself, and that was another of the million and thirty-seven things Elizabeth liked about him.

The Cover: I don’t know what happened to Elizabeth. This looks like SVT Liz with boobs (sort of) and slightly shorter hair. And look at that troubled expression on Tim’s face. I think he’s really upset about his denim tuxedo there.

The moral of the story: Beauty pageants are outdated and sexist, but winning one means a really cute college guy will ask you out.

The Big Deal: Miss Teen Sweet Valley beauty pageant

Synopsis:

So, hey, guess what? Jessica is bored with high school guys and wants a college man. Steve had a few of his college buddies over recently and Jessica can’t figure out why one of them, Frazer McConnell, didn’t fall in love with her. She wants him to notice her, and this is her motivation for entering the Miss Teen Sweet Valley pageant. She doesn’t tell anyone she plans on entering because she doesn’t want to scare away the competition. Liz and Enid are totally against the pageant because they think it’s sexist. Liz decides to organize a protest committee.

Jessica announces to her family that she’s entered the pageant. Liz can’t believe it and says she’s going to get the pageant called off. She and her protest committee start a petition and go to the mall to get people to sign it. Amy sees them and tells Liz she should just not go to the pageant if she hates it so much. Sound advice, Amy, but we all know Liz can’t just sit by and not interfere. Liz writes an article for The Oracle, and it gets picked up by the Sweet Valley News (of course it does). Liz and Jessica are already on the outs and the article makes things worse. A local television station loved Liz’s article, and they noticed Jessica’s name on the list of entrants so they want to do an interview with them. At the interview, Liz comes off as brilliant and collected, while Jessica kind of panics and just keeps saying the same thing over and over.

Jessica gets home one day and finds Frazer and Steve hanging out with Cara and her cousin Barbara. She goes upstairs, frustrated that Frazer isn’t interested in her, and ends up having an argument with Liz. Liz is all condescending and asks why the pageant is so important to Jessica. And of course Jessica doesn’t have a good answer because for all her “pageant winners go on to do great things” rhetoric, she really only entered for the fame, the prizes and, most of all, Frazer.

Liz finds a loophole and thinks she can stop the pageant. The people holding the pageant were supposed to have gotten written consent from the school superintendent, but he’s been in the Soviet Union “meeting with Soviet educators,” so he couldn’t have approved it. Liz announces this at dinner and Jessica freaks out. She’s been taking dance lessons to prepare for the talent contest, but has been keeping it a secret from everyone. After Liz’s announcement, Jessica tells her how hard she’s been working, and Liz finally realizes how important the pageant is to Jessica and decides not to stop it, though she’s adamant about not going to see it.

Liz inevitably changes her mind and goes to watch Jessica in the pageant. When Jessica trips and falls during her dance routine, Liz goes backstage and tries to convince Jessica to keep going. Jessica refuses and runs off, so Liz finds Jessica’s bag and puts on her swimsuit. After doing the swimsuit competition, Liz goes backstage and finds Jessica, who is much happier now that Liz has compromised her principles and degraded herself onstage. She finishes the pageant for herself.

Jessica wins (did you ever have any doubt?). She realizes the other girls did really well, too, and worries that she only won because she’s the prettiest. She’s disappointed that the crown is a cheap tiara and that Frazer still doesn’t pay attention to her. Then she finds out the prizes are nowhere near as awesome as she’d been led to believe and she wants to cry. But Frazer comes by the house the next day and asks her out, so I guess everything is okay.

Quotes:

If she had anything to say about it, the pageant would be called off and the dignity of Sweet Valley womanhood would be preserved.

Oh, take the stick out of your ass, Liz.

The truth was, no one seemed to care as much about the beauty pageant issue as she did.

What does that tell you, Liz?

The Cover: Ooh, Liz has her bitchface on, complete with matching shirt and barrettes. Jessica looks smug, even though I think she probably could have done something a little different with her hair for the pageant. She wears it like that every single day of her life.

The moral of the story: Girls can do anything! Girl power!

The Big Deal: Big football game against Big Mesa

Synopsis:

Scott Trost, the guy who replaced Ken as quarterback after Ken’s “fatal” accident, is put on academic probation and can’t play football. Everyone starts asking Ken’s girlfriend, Terri, if Ken will be trying out for the open position. Terri is worried because Ken isn’t totally recovered from his head injury and his eyesight hasn’t returned completely. Ken and Terri go to the Dairi Burger and Ken spends the entire night talking to his adoring fans about the possibility of his playing football again. Terri is unhappy and realizes their relationship will change if Ken gets back on the team, but she acts like she’s just worried about his vision and stuff. She mentions these concerns to Ken in front of Winston, which pisses Ken off because nobody besides Terri knows he isn’t one hundred percent back to normal.

Liz does an interview for The Oracle with Claire Middleton, a new transfer student from Palisades High. Claire is really shy and doesn’t say much until Liz asks her about her hobbies. Then Claire brightens up and talks about football for a minute. Liz asks her about her family and Claire suddenly gets all withdrawn and shy again. Liz wonders if she has something to hide. Look, Liz, some people are just shy, okay? Back off. When she gets home, Liz asks Jessica what she thinks of Claire. Jessica says she’s been thinking of asking her to join Pi Beta Alpha. This surprises Liz. She’s sure Claire isn’t the sorority type because she seems like a tomboy. But then again, PBA has been under scrutiny lately for being “too exclusive” so Liz figures Jessica wants Claire to round things out. Jessica introduces herself to Claire after a football game and tries to be friendly, but Claire looks at Jessica’s cheerleading uniform and tells her cheerleading is sexist and she should play a real sport instead of just jumping around and screaming. Aw, hell naw. Claire is on Jessica’s shit list now.

Claire tells Coach Schultz she wants to try out for the team. He laughs at her and says she must be new to Sweet Valley. Jackass. Claire says she looked up some regulations and couldn’t find anything about girls on the football team. Coach says she can try out but warns her that she’ll probably get some teasing for it. At the first round of tryouts, Claire blows everyone away by actually being good. Terri thinks it’s great until she notices Ken noticing Claire. John Pfeifer doesn’t help by constantly saying, right in front of Terri, things like, “Claire looks pretty good in that uniform, eh, Ken?” When the first round is over, Liz tries to talk to Claire some more to expand on her previous interview, but Claire is just as close-mouthed as ever and doesn’t see why it should be a big deal that she likes football. I understand her sentiment, but she’s really rude about it. I’m getting the feeling that I’m supposed to be torn between rooting for Claire and rooting for Ken, but Claire’s a bitch and I don’t want her to make the team. But she will, I’m sure, because suddenly there are two quarterback positions open, first and second string.

Ken and Terri go to the Dairi Burger and Terri gets all upset when Claire comes in and Ken asks her to sit with them. Claire says she can’t, she’s just getting her food to go and her mom is in the car. Ken looks disappointed and Terri sits there feeling sorry for herself for a few minutes. Then Ken grabs his face and it’s obvious he’s having some kind of trouble with his eyes, but acts all stoic and manly when Terri asks him if he’s okay. Before the next round of tryouts, Terri goes to the girls’ locker room to put on some sweats and get some jogging in before all the chaos starts. She sees Claire staring at her open locker and crying. Taped to the inside of the locker door is a picture of a young man with a football. “To Claire,–with all my love, Ted,” is written on the picture. Claire notices Terri and slams her locker shut. During tryouts, Terri sees Ken stumble and she knows he lost his vision for a second. Later, she tries to tell him they have to talk about it, but he’s an idiot and tells her to quit mothering him because he doesn’t need her to take care of him anymore. He’s sure she just wants to keep him from playing football, which is ridiculous. Then he tells her to be more like Claire. Oh, NO he didn’t.

Terri helps Coach wrap things up and then goes to the locker room. She overhears the cheerleaders bitching about Claire. Jessica’s gotten them all riled up by telling them what Claire said about cheerleading. The whole squad has been charming a bunch of guys into pulling pranks on Claire. When Terri realizes they’re out for revenge, she tells them she’ll help them out. She tells them about the picture and Jessica and Amy decide to make up a cheer that ends with, “We know about Ted.” Oh, Terri, what have you done?

Liz is at home on Saturday morning, just sitting around revising her article about Claire, when Steve comes home, claiming he wants to see what all the fuss is about this girl football player. He glances at Liz’s article, sees the name Middleton and tells Liz about this football player at his college who died of a brain tumor recently. Guess what his name was? If you guessed “Ted Middleton,” you win.

At the final round of tryouts, Jessica and her band of catty bitches are all shocked when their new cheer makes Claire walk off the field. Liz and Steve go down to the field and ask the cheerleaders why they mocked Claire’s dead brother. They have no idea what she’s talking about and say the whole thing is Terri’s fault. So Liz demands Terri tell her what’s going on. Terri obliges, of course, and tells Liz everything. Liz says they need to go to Claire’s house right away and explain and try to convince her to talk to the coach about still letting her play. Liz! You don’t need to be involved in this! Terri goes to Claire’s alone. She apologizes and tells Claire she was jealous of her. Claire tells her Ken talks about Terri all day long. They call a truce on the condition that Claire will talk to the coach and Terri will talk to Ken. So Terri goes to Ken’s house and tells him how she’s been feeling. By lunchtime the next day, Ken and Terri are wonderful and Claire has apologized to the cheerleaders and is going to be second-string quarterback in the big game against Big Mesa.

At the Big Mesa game, Ken starts playing badly because his vision is coming and going. He tells Coach to take him out. Claire gets in the game and wins it. Of course.

In other news, Enid and her boyfriend, Hugh, have broken up. There’s a total of maybe five sentences dedicated to this development, but I thought you might be interested.

Quotes:

“Maybe they just had a fight,” Todd said. “You know how these things go. They’ll probably make up this weekend, and everything will be fine again.”

Well, I guess that strategy has worked out for you and Liz thus far.

Terri blushed and fidgeted uncomfortably with her clipboard. “I know it was dumb, but it seemed like a good idea at the time.”

Elizabeth took a deep breath. “And would it still seem like a good idea to you if you knew that not only was Ted Claire’s older brother, but that he died of a brain tumor?”

Ugh, fuck off, Liz! I HATE this self-righteous attitude she cops during this whole scene.

The Cover: Something is very wrong with Claire’s hand. It’s way too big or long or something to be coming off that tiny little arm. And I don’t care what John Pfeifer says, Claire does not look hot in those shoulder pads.

The moral of the story: Racism can happen anywhere, even in the otherwise perfect town of Sweet Valley, California.

The Big Deal: Nothing much happening today. Too much racial tension.

Synopsis:

Andy Jenkins is the token black boy at Sweet Valley High. He’s dating Tracy Gilbert, token black girl Patty Gilbert’s cousin or sister or something. He’s good friends with Neil Freemount, and he and Tracy often double date with Neil and Penny. Neil accompanies Andy to his locker one day at school, and is appalled to see someone has filled Andy’s locker with garbage and written, “Go back to Africa where you belong,” on the door. Damn. I wasn’t expecting that. Neil wants Andy to tell Mr. Cooper, but Andy thinks it’s best to just ignore it.

The next day, Neil’s family has a picnic with the Cashmans. Mr. Freemount and Mr. Cashman work together at Patman Canning and are good friends. You might remember Charlie Cashman from that time he and Crunch McAllister got into a fight with Steve Wakefield over Betsy Martin. Charlie isn’t at the picnic, for which Neil is grateful. Charlie’s father starts talking about his new supervisor at work, Willis. Mr. Cashman thinks Willis, who is black, only got the job because of affirmative action. Neil is horrified when his own father agrees with him, but hopes his dad is just going along with his friend. On Monday at school, Andy finds out he’s won a scholarship to study marine biology at some famous aquarium over the summer. I forgot to mention that Andy is a science whiz. After school, Andy and Tracy have a bite at the Dairi Burger with Neil and Penny. When they go to leave, the girls stay inside for a minute to talk to someone. Charlie Cashman and his gang of thugs harass Andy, and Neil tells them to shut up. When Tracy and Penny come out, Andy walks Tracy to her car. They find all of her tires have been slashed. So now Andy is all pissed off and when Neil tries to offer help and advice, Andy tells him he doesn’t need help, especially not from “any white person.”

Liz has the great idea to put a feature in the Oracle where students can write in and suggest things they would like to change about Sweet Valley. She’s expecting silly stuff like people asking for better food in the cafeteria, and she’s surprised when people immediately start talking about real things. Manuel thinks history should be taught differently because students don’t learn that Mexicans settled in California before white people. Dana thinks boys’ sports get more attention than girls’ sports and it’s not right. Penny wants to do away with Pi Beta Alpha. Liz can’t believe people are so dissatisfied with her beloved school. And when Penny and Neil tell her what’s been going on between Andy and Charlie, she gets all worked up and has to go home to her bedroom to think.

At dinner one night, Neil’s dad says some things about Mr. Cashman getting picked on at work by his black boss. Then Charlie shows up and asks Neil to go for a ride with him. Neil feels bad for Charlie, knowing that if Mr. Cashman is having a hard time at work, he’s probably taking it out on his wife and kid. So Neil goes with him and they cruise around for a while, honking the car horn in front of people’s houses and then driving away. When Neil gets home, he feels ashamed for hanging out with the guy who’s causing so much trouble for his best friend. Like, seriously, there’s no way I’d be hanging out with that guy unless it was to tell him off for being such a jackass. But for some reason, Neil doesn’t mention Andy at all.

At school the next day, Charlie comes up to Neil and asks him to go out with him and his friends. Neil says he’s waiting for Andy, and Charlie starts giving him shit about his “black buddy.” Neil sees Andy and goes to talk to him. Andy’s all, “So you’re friends with Charlie now?” Neil tells Andy he was sticking up for him and Andy gets all weird and says Neil can’t be friends with him if he’s friends with Charlie. Neil doesn’t want to be friends with Charlie, but he’s pissed off and says he’ll be friends with anyone he wants. Andy walks away.

Charlie trips Andy in the hallway at school, and Andy tackles him. Mr. Collins breaks up the fight and sends Charlie to the office. Then he drags Neil into his classroom and asks him if Charlie is picking on Andy because he’s black. Neil says he is, but dismisses Mr. Collins’ request to let him know if anything else happens. Neil and Penny go to the movies that night, but Neil is angry about Andy and they end up leaving early. When they get to the parking lot, they see Charlie and his thugs dragging Andy out of his car. Neil sends Penny inside to call the police. He runs over to the guys, but by the time he gets to Charlie and Andy, Andy is unconscious on the ground. Charlie starts taunting Neil, telling him to take a swing. Someone holds Andy up and Neil is so upset about the way Andy’s been treating him that he actually punches him in the stomach. Then he freaks out about what he’s done and drives off. He pulls over after a while and throws up.

Damn.

Everyone assumes Charlie was behind the whole thing, but Andy refuses to identify his attackers. On Monday, it seems word of the attack has spread. Jessica’s sociology teacher decides to do a little experiment. She says everyone with blue or gray eyes is now a second class citizen and gives the rest of the class permission to treat the “Light-Eyes” as badly as they want. Even Mrs. Jacobi herself gets in on it and starts being all mean to the Light-Eyes. I’m not sure this would ever fly at any school I ever went to.

Neil is freaking out about someone finding out he had hit Andy, so he avoids everyone. When he gets home, his father surprises him with tickets to a football game. They have a lot of fun until halftime, when Mr. Freemount says he got a call from Mr. Cashman that morning. He says that even though it’s wrong to hit a guy when he’s down, Neil did the right thing because Andy had it coming. Neil is silent for the rest of the game. When they get back to Sweet Valley, Neil asks his dad to stop so he can get out. He runs over to Andy’s house, determined to tell him about what he did, but when he gets there Andy apologizes for being such a jerk. He wants to start over without any black-white crap between them. Neil shakes his hand and goes home, frustrated with himself for not telling Andy what really happened. After Andy goes back to school, Charlie tells Neil that Andy obviously didn’t learn his lesson, and that if Neil doesn’t help him get Andy, Charlie will tell the police Neil was the one who beat him up at the movie theater.

Neil finally tells Andy that he hit him. Andy walks away feeling betrayed and Penny says Neil isn’t who she thought he was. Instead of going to his next class, Neil goes outside and gets in his car. Liz taps on his window, looks at him with “sad and compassionate” eyes and tells him that even though what he did was wrong, it must have taken a lot of courage to tell Andy the truth. Neil is grateful that someone understands. (And you knew that someone would be Elizabeth Wakefield.)  He drives around for a while and then ends up back at school. He sees Andy on the football field and Charlie and his gang walking toward him. He jumps out of his car and stands with Andy, telling Charlie he’ll have to beat them both up if he wants to take on Andy again. Charlie and his guys are nervous about this and they go away. Andy tells Neil this doesn’t make up for anything. Neil says he knows, but he’ll always stand with Andy against Charlie. Andy and Neil walk off in opposite directions.

That night, Penny is sitting around feeling sorry for herself. She suddenly comes to the conclusion that if she had been a better girlfriend to Neil and been there for him more, he wouldn’t have been confused and upset enough to hit Andy. What the hell? Then Neil calls and she decides to talk to him. She’s not sure if she can ever feel the same way about him, but she’s going to try. Which means in the next book there will be a bit about how they’d “gone through a rough patch, but now they were closer than ever!”

So, obviously, this book could be better, but one thing I do like is that for once it doesn’t end with a “happily ever after.” I’m sure Penny and Neil will get back together, but I’m not sure Andy will ever speak to Neil again and there was no ridiculous scene where Neil’s father suddenly sees the error of his ways and stops being a racist. So, points for that. But minus quite a few points for the “Don’t talk to ME about Mr. King!” line.

Quotes:

“Everyone is completely shocked,” Penny continued. “I just can’t believe something like that could happen here. I thought it only happened in big cities, like New York or L.A., but I guess I was naïve.”

Yes, I do believe that’s the not-so-subtle lesson we’re learning today.

For the rest of class, Jessica, Amy, and the other Light-Eyes were the victims of the worst kind of scorn, criticism, and ridicule. The teacher announced at one point that all the Light-Eyes would have to sit at the back of the room and would not be allowed to speak under any circumstances.

Yeah, I really just don’t think that’s a reasonable way to teach kids about racism. I mean, maybe some version of it, but letting the kids with dark eyes go crazy on the kids with light eyes is probably not something I’d approve of for my kid’s class if I were a parent.

The Cover: Ooh, homoerotic porn, right here in Sweet Valley.

The moral of the story: Once you’ve gone to Sweet Valley High, you will never want to go anywhere else.

The Big Deal: The Battle of the Schools, a party at the country club.

Synopsis:

Liz and Todd are back together, but they’re having a rough time since Todd goes to Lovett Academy, a private school about an hour away from Sweet Valley. They want to spend all their free time together, so Liz starts blowing off homework and leaving Oracle meetings early so she can see Todd, and Todd is missing basketball practices to see Liz. Jessica is bored now that the buzz about Liz and Todd has died down and she wants the spotlight back on her, so she decides she should go to Lovett Academy, too. Just to spice things up and meet new guys. Her parents tell her to go ahead and find out whatever she can about it.

One day, Courtney Kane (the girl who tried to keep Todd and Liz from getting back together) sees Todd and Liz coming out of a restaurant. She starts seething with anger at the thought of Todd choosing Elizabeth over her. She vows to someday get back at them. That night, her father tells her that a shoe company called Kidd will be sponsoring some kind of mini-olympics and all the area schools will compete, including Lovett Academy and Sweet Valley High. The competition is announced at Sweet Valley a few days later. Jessica says she can’t possibly be on any Sweet Valley teams since her heart belongs to Lovett. Liz is all worried about competing against Todd.

Todd takes Liz to a party at the country club. Liz hates all the shallow and superficial rich kids from Lovett. She sees someone she recognizes from school working there and says hello, and the Lovett kids laugh at her for being friendly with the help. Then Courtney’s date, Campbell, won’t leave Liz alone and keeps asking her to dance with him, which makes Courtney hate her even more. Finally, Liz and Todd leave and Liz is relieved to find out he was having as bad a time as she was. They spend the rest of the evening at the Dairi Burger.

Everyone finds out what teams they’ll be on for the competition, and Liz and Jeffrey both end up being on the relay race team. Awkward. Coincidentally, Todd will be on the relay team for Lovett. He comes to watch Liz practice, but Ken Matthews asks him to leave so he can’t go bringing secrets back to Lovett. Um, what secrets? Don’t you just run? Anyway, later that night, Todd is worried that he and Liz being in direct competition with each other is a bad idea and asks her if she’ll switch teams or something. Liz gets pissed and tells him he should quit because he shouldn’t be competing against Sweet Valley anyway. A few days later, Todd is telling Liz about a couple of children of famous people he met at Lovett, and Liz is all concerned because the old Todd never cared about “important people.” Todd accuses her of hating Lovett and they have a fight and break up. Gee, Liz. Good thing you left Jeffrey for this guy.

Okay, so the relay race isn’t just running. Jeffrey and Robin will be doing the three-legged race portion of it, Ken will be balancing an egg on a spoon and Liz will do the rope climbing bit. It all seems very strange. And, hey! Guess what? Todd will be doing the rope climbing bit for his relay team, too! Courtney sits on the sidelines during his relay practices and tries to get him to go out with her. She’s decided to give him another chance because Liz is the one she really hates. At the big competition, Lovett comes in first and Sweet Valley second. The two schools will be going head to head.

Jessica goes to Lovett during school hours for an official tour. She starts worrying that she won’t fit in and that she’ll miss her friends, but on her way out she sees a cute guy and the beautiful landscaping and her enthusiasm is restored. She runs into Todd and he asks about Liz. Jessica tells him Liz is doing just fine, never been better, and Todd is obviously disappointed that she’s not at home crying her eyes out every night. That night, Jessica tells Liz that Todd misses her, but Liz is all upset that he hasn’t called. Jessica wisely tells her that it takes two people to have an argument and Liz can just as easily call him. So Liz tries, but nobody answers.

At the Battle of the Schools, Courtney cheats during the College Bowl, signaling answers to her classmates. Jessica notices, but keeps her mouth shut. Then Courtney sabotages the rope Liz will be using for the rope climb. The whole school is watching when the rope snaps and Liz falls. Todd immediately jumps down from his rope and holds her in his arms. The schools decide to have a tug-of-war to decide who the winner is. Both Todd and Liz decide to sit it out, so Todd is replaced by a classmate and Jessica takes Liz’s place. Courtney starts complaining that Lovett should be declared the winner and Jessica tells her if she doesn’t shut up, everyone will know she cheated during the College Bowl.

Sweet Valley wins, Jessica decides not to go to Lovett, Liz and Todd are okay again and Todd decides he wants to transfer back to Sweet Valley. Did you expect any other ending?

Quotes:

The fact was, everyone at Sweet Valley High had been following Elizabeth Wakefield’s love life with fascination ever since her old boyfriend had moved back to town a few weeks ago.

Of course they have. Every little thing the Wakefield twins do is fascinating.

“Every time I think of what almost happened to you today, when I saw you there, lying so helplessly on the ground…” Todd said, a catch in his throat.

Todd, she fell a couple of feet and doesn’t even have a bruise. She’s fine.

The Cover:

Todd: If I don’t hold on tight, she’ll run back to that Jeffrey guy.

Liz: We look happy, right? Really happy.

The moral of the story: If your parents are racists, it’s probably your fault for not telling them about your Mexican boyfriend.

The Big Deal: Surprise party for Lila

Synopsis:

Sandra Bacon is going out with Manuel Lopez, a Mexican kid. Sandra’s parents are totally racist (though somehow the word “racist” never gets mentioned) so she’s keeping their relationship a secret from them. Sandra’s mom apparently grew up in a neighborhood where “racial violence tore the community apart.” I don’t get if that’s supposed to be violence between members of one race or between members of different races or what, but I guess Mrs. Bacon wants to perpetuate the problem? I don’t get it. Sandra’s father wants to set her up with a nice young man, the son of someone at the country club. Sandra changes the subject and goes to her room.

Lila’s birthday is coming up and she’s hinting at her friends for them to throw her a party. Jessica ignores her because she already has a surprise party planned for the day after Lila’s birthday. She gets Amy and the other cheerleaders on board and every time Lila brings up her birthday, they all act like they’re so over birthdays and like birthday parties are for babies. Lila gets really mad and vows never to speak to any of them again.

Sandra is hanging out at Manuel’s house when his mom asks her to stay for dinner. She calls her mom and says she’ll be eating at Jeanie’s house. Manuel overhears and gets upset. Sandra has not explained her parents to him yet. She promises she’ll talk to them soon, she just needs more time. Later that night, Jeanie tells her Liz is planning to write about her and Manuel in the next “Eyes and Ears” column. Sandra finds Liz first thing in the morning to ask her to take her out of the article and Liz is all, “Why? Why? Why?” So Sandra tells her about her parents and Liz advises her to be honest with them. Sandy tries, but she keeps chickening out. And her mother is about the stupidest woman in the world and totally doesn’t put it together when Sandy keeps coming at her with the whole, “Suppose I fell in love with a Mexican, what would you do?” thing. The whole idea upsets her so much she can’t sleep. Everyone keeps telling Sandy her parents will never get over their prejudices if she doesn’t help them. Yeah, way to put it all on the kid.

Sandy wants to go out on her family’s boat with Manuel, but she needs to tell her parents she’ll be with somebody else. She talks to her best friend Jeanie, but Jeanie doesn’t want to cover for her anymore. Sandy asks Liz instead. Liz is more than happy to go boating with them, but only because Sandy lies and says Manuel really wants her to go. Then she tells Manuel that Liz really wants to go with them. On the boat, Liz says something that clues Manuel in, but just then the engine makes some kind of noise. Then it explodes. Liz and Manuel are thrown into the water, but Sandy is passed out on the bow. Manuel goes back to get her and gets away just before the whole boat goes up in flames. On the beach, Sandy wakes up long enough to tell Manuel her parents can’t find out he was with her and insists Liz say she’s the one who saved her life. Manuel is pissed and stalks off, leaving Liz with the reporter who’s suddenly arrived on the scene. Sandy tells the reporter it was all Liz, but there’s a guy hanging around who says he saw a guy with dark hair get Sandy off the boat.

At school, Liz is hailed as a hero and only her family and Jeffrey know the truth. She’s got the head of the PTA calling to congratulate her and Sandy’s mom giving her presents. Liz feels awful. She goes to see Sandy, who begs her not to blow her cover. Liz tries to get her to tell her parents the truth, but Sandy says they just can’t help the way they are and she can’t tell them.

When Sandy comes back to school, Manuel breaks up with her. He’s tired of the whole thing and feels Sandy doesn’t respect him enough to tell her parents about him. Later that day, the police come and take him to the station because a witness saw him near the boat the day of the accident. They suspect foul play. Sandy’s parents pick her up from school and take her to the police station, where she denies knowing Manuel and lets the police think he tampered with the boat’s engine. What. A. Bitch.

Manuel gives her a look and says, “How could you?” Sandy can’t take it anymore. She sobs out the whole sad story and tells her parents Manuel was the one who saved her, and suddenly they aren’t racist anymore. They ask Manuel to accompany them to the spring dance at the country club and agree to go to Sweet Valley’s upcoming Mexican festival with the Lopezes. Lila’s surprise party is a roaring success. Hooray!

Quotes:

The fund had been set up in memory of the junior who had died recently of an extremely rare reaction to a small amount of cocaine.

Okay, so now it’s a small amount? Is two lines a small amount for someone who’s never done it before? This is a real question, I really don’t know. What I do know is that with every passing book, the ghostwriters downplay the dangers of coke more and more and make it seem like something that could have only happened to Regina, only on that night, only at that place. Pick a message and stick to it, guys.

Sandra felt she had to pinch herself to prove she wasn’t coming.

My, that’s quite the Freudian slip on the ghostwriter’s part.

The Cover: I hate Sandy Bacon. She always looks like such a bitch.