Shannon's Sweet Valley High Blog

The Moral of the Story: If you want to have a bad time, go to prom with Trent.

The Big Deal: Prom at the beach!

Synopsis:

Liz and Jeff: The whole gang gets together at House of Java and Andy starts talking about his plans to go to New York next year to try his hand at stand up comedy. Jeff starts going on and on about how horrible New York is and how glad he is that he decided not to go to NYU. Liz is really irritated with Jeff these days because he’s acting so weird, but he can’t figure out why she’s so upset.

Jeff has begged Liz to let him write an article for The Oracle, but he can’t come up with a good story idea. He eventually decides to recycle an essay from last year, and he goes over to Liz’s with a report about The Catcher in the Rye. Liz recognizes it because Mr. Collins read it in front of the class last year. She doesn’t know what Jeff’s deal is, but she tells him she can’t put a book report in the newspaper and she’ll just have to call Maria to see if she has anything to fill the space. Jeff stays up all night writing an article about the pressure seniors feel to choose a career path, and he gives it to Liz the next morning. She says it’s perfect.

Andy and Dave: Dave is going to school in New York next year and he’s acting kind of weird about Andy joining him. Then when they go to get their tuxes for prom, Dave doesn’t seem to want the clerk to know he and Andy are going together. Andy gets pissed and starts yelling at Dave in the parking lot. He says if Dave is ashamed or embarrassed by him, then maybe he just shouldn’t go to the prom with him. Dave says that’s fine and drives away. Andy tells Six all about it, and she says she and Andy should go together. Andy sends Tia an email about how bummed he is to not be going with Dave, and Tia forwards the email to Dave and tells him to come to the prom.

Tia and Trent: There’s a policy in place that says only SVH seniors can be elected prom king and queen, which means nobody whose date is from another school can be elected. Trent decides he wants to make Tia’s prom super special, so he anonymously gets on the SVH virtual bulletin board and proposes a policy change. The response is overwhelming and the change is made. Meanwhile, Tia is wondering why everyone cares so much about something so stupid. She’s totally not interested in being prom queen.

Trent and Jeremy go to the One Stop Prom Shop (ugh) to get their tuxes. Jeremy has a swatch of fabric from Jessica’s dress and a picture of the flowers she wants for her corsage, and Trent has nothing. He makes fun of Jeremy for being whipped and says he’s taking care of all of this on his own to show Tia how much he cares. When the saleslady asks Trent what kind of corsage he wants, he says he wants a wreath for Tia’s hair. Jeremy and the saleslady try to talk him out of it, but Trent is sure he knows what he’s doing. Then he decides that instead of riding in the limo with everyone else, he and Tia will get their own. Unfortunately, all the smaller size limos are taken, so Trent ends up reserving a horse drawn carriage.

Trent makes another post on the SVH bulletin board, asking for people to vote for him and Tia as king and queen. Tia freaks out. She calls Trent and yells at him, telling him she does not want to be queen. She also tells him she wanted to pick out tux and corsage stuff together. Trent feels dumb.

Pre-Prom Madness: The girls spend all day at the Wakefield house getting ready, and then Jeff and Jeremy show up. Liz and Jeff go to Jeff’s car to get her corsage, and a bunch of papers fall out of the glove box. Among them is a rejection letter from NYU. Because the glove box is where you keep stuff like that. Liz realizes Jeff’s new look and personality are all because of the rejection, and she’s super pissed that he didn’t just tell her the truth.

Trent is really late and Tia is getting nervous. She’s horrified when he shows up in a horse drawn carriage, and even more horrified when he tries to put the wreath of flowers on her head. Luckily, Jessica pushes him out of the way before he can do too much damage to Tia’s hairdo. Everyone is supposed to go to a pre-prom party at Maria’s (huh, remember Maria?), and Tia is surprised when the carriage pulls up in front of the fanciest restaurant in town instead of Maria’s house. She manages to step in horse manure, and everyone in the restaurant gives her dirty looks because she smells like shit. She manages to clean up her shoe and get rid of the wreath, but then the whole menu is in French, so Tia isn’t quite sure what she’s ordering. She’s disgusted when the waiter brings her a whole fish, scales and all. Trent’s food doesn’t look much better, so they just pay the $120 check and leave.

At the Prom: Six goes off to try to talk to this senior guy she has a crush on, but he shoots her down. Andy finds her and comforts her, and she leans over to give him a kiss on the cheek. She misses and gets his lips instead, and that is, of course, when Dave finds them. He’s a little freaked out, but Andy chases after him and they make up and everything is great. The only reason Dave didn’t want Andy to come to New York with him was because he was worried Andy would resent him or something if his comedy career didn’t work out.

Tia and Trent are crowned king and queen. Tia reluctantly gets up onstage, but starts crying when she’s told they’ve won a gift certificate to the French restaurant from earlier. Trent tries to kiss her, but she walks offstage. Melissa says something snotty because she’s pissed she and Will didn’t win, and Tia throws her crown at her before storming off. Tia tells Trent she hates that he changed all their prom plans, Trent apologizes, and Tia eventually sees the humor in the situation.

Liz spent all of Maria’s party glaring at Jeff, and he finally tries to talk to her in the middle of the dance floor. She tells him he’s changed and she doesn’t like the new him. They break up, and Liz goes for a walk up the beach. And who should she find sitting on the beach and playing his guitar? That’s right, Conner. Todd’s car broke down, so Conner gave him and Megan a ride to the prom. Conner and Liz chat for a minute, and then she asks him to dance. They dance…and then they kiss. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Quotes:

“Mmmm. Thanks,” she said, tearing off a piece of the bagel and plopping it into her mouth.

Ew! Why can’t these ghostwriters talk about food without making me want to throw up?

The Cover: Tia certainly looks happy for someone having the worst prom experience ever.

The moral of the story: If your old boyfriend moves back to town, you’ll immediately fall in love with him again.

The Big Deal: Parties everywhere! One at Winston’s, one at Todd’s new school and one at Todd’s house.

Synopsis:

Todd Wilkins is moving back to Sweet Valley and Liz is all freaked out. She keeps asking herself who she would choose if she has to make a choice between Jeffrey and Todd. She knows Todd isn’t going out with Suzanne Devlin anymore, but she hasn’t heard from him in a couple months. She tells Jeffrey that Todd is coming back and it’s obvious that Jeffrey is worried, but Liz is so confused about her feelings that she can’t bring herself to tell him that he has nothing to worry about. Everyone’s at the Dairi Burger a few days later when Lila tells them that she heard from her father that Todd’s father has been promoted to president of his company and has bought a house in Lila’s neighborhood. Now Jeffrey is really worried that Liz will leave him for Todd.

Liz is upset that Ken and Winston have both gotten letters from Todd and she hasn’t. She’s relieved to think that maybe he doesn’t care about her and she won’t have to choose between him and Jeffrey after all. But then she gets a letter from him that’s postmarked three weeks prior. It somehow got lost in the mail. In the letter, Todd says he wants her to be the first to know he’s moving back. He also says he still has feelings for her and wants to know how she feels. So now Liz is more confused than ever. Jessica thinks she would be an idiot not to go out with Todd because he’s a somebody now. And he’ll be going to Lovett Academy, a nearby private school. Jessica imagines she’ll be able to tag along with Liz when they go out and then she’ll meet her very own Lovett boy.

When Todd gets back into town, Liz is the first person he visits, and he has dinner with the Wakefields a few days later. Jessica starts asking him all kinds of questions about Lovett Academy and Alice wants to know how his family will be decorating their new mansion. Liz starts to wonder if she’ll fit into Todd’s new life. After dinner, Todd says he wants to get back together with her. He knows she’s seeing someone, but promises he’ll wait for her to figure out what she really wants. On Friday night, Jeffrey takes Liz out on a magical date to try to keep the love alive. Liz tells him how confused she is, but that when she figures out what Todd means to her, Jeffrey will be the first to know.

The next night, Winston has a party to welcome Todd back to town. Liz is there with Jeffrey and she appears to Jessica to be in total agony. Aaron and Ken are discussing who Liz will choose. Jessica thinks that if she gets Todd and Jeffrey next to each other, Liz will have no problem figuring out she wants Todd. She drags Todd over to introduce him to Jeffrey and they stiffly shake hands.

Jessica gets Todd to take her and Liz to a party at Lovett. Jessica meets a nice boy named Sheffield, and Liz meets a girl named Courtney Kane, who seems to have a thing for Todd. Liz is all jealous when Courtney mentions the dinner she went to with Todd last night. Todd assures her it was just a social obligation and it was a chore to spend time with Courtney. Yeah, right, Liz ain’t buying that. But Todd tries to kiss her later when he’s dropping her and Jessica off, so Liz thinks Courtney must not mean anything to him. When she gets inside and Alice tells her Jeffrey called, she’s so confused she bursts into tears. She talks to her mother the next morning, and Alice tells her she needs to just listen to her heart, it’s gonna tell her what to do, she might need a lot of lovin’ but she don’t need you. (Sorry, I’m a Tom Petty fan.) Later that day, the twins are hanging out at the pool with Enid and Lila, and Lila starts telling them all about the party Todd’s going to have to “reestablish himself in Sweet Valley.” Lila learned all about the party from Courtney Kane, who says she and Todd will be co-hosting the party together. The thought makes Liz want to cry, but she tells herself Lila is probably lying. Courtney is another Jessica-like character, though. She made the whole thing up about being Todd’s co-host because she knew Lila would repeat it all to Liz. She wants Todd all for herself. Courtney knows all about Liz and Jeffrey, and she tells Sheffield a big lie about Jeffrey giving Liz a ring. Sheffield tells Todd and Todd is all upset. He decides he might as well go ahead and ask Courtney to be his party date.

When Liz gets her invitation to Todd’s party, it’s addressed to her “and friend.” She realizes Todd really is going to be there with Courtney and expects her to bring a date, too. She’s all upset, but Jessica points out that, hey, now she doesn’t have to try to choose between Todd and Jeffrey. Liz suddenly realizes that Todd is the one she really loves and she’s heartbroken to realize she’s lost him again. Liz doesn’t talk to Todd for the next week and pours all her energy into her relationship with Jeffrey, but Jeffrey knows something is wrong. He’s heard the rumors about Todd and Courtney, and on the way to Todd’s party, Jeffrey realizes the only reason he “won” Liz is because Todd took the decision out of her hands by hooking up with another girl. Aw, poor Jeffrey.

At the party, Jeffrey sees Courtney put a folded piece of paper in Liz’s jacket pocket and then sneaks away. Liz goes to the bathroom, and Jeffrey uses the opportunity to follow Courtney. He hears her tell Todd she has a headache and ask him to take her to the gazebo on the west lawn. Jeffrey follows them outside. Liz finds the note Courtney put in her jacket, which tells her to come out to the gazebo. It’s not in Todd’s handwriting, but it’s signed with his name, so Liz totally believes it’s from him. She gets out there just in time to see Courtney kissing Todd. She drops the note and runs off and leaves the party. Jeffrey is hiding in the shadows and he picks up the note. He puts all the pieces together, then bravely tells Todd that Courtney’s pulled a Jessica, even though he knows telling the truth will result in him losing Liz. Todd leaves the party and finds Liz at Secca Lake. They renew their love with a makeout session.

Goodbye, Jeffrey. It’s been nice knowing you. You’ll be missed and will always be remembered as being cooler than Todd.

Quotes:

Jessica walked away from Aaron and Ken, flashing them both a big smile. They were both very attractive – she had dated each of them a number of times. In fact, not too long ago she had contemplated falling in love with Ken for lack of anything better to do.

This quote cracks me up, especially the part about her having dated them both a “number of times.” Ha ha, Jessica’s such a whore.

“It’s probably going to be the biggest, splashiest event Sweet Valley’s seen in ages! At least since my last party,” Lila amended.

When was Lila’s last party, anyway? Anyone remember? She’s slipping.

The Cover: My husband picked this one up and said, “What a lovely picture of that twin and a twelve-year-old.” Enough said, I think.

The moral of the story: Southern boys don’t like aggressive girls, so if you wanna get the guy from Atlanta, you have to act shy and quiet.

The Big Deal: Party for Olivia’s literary magazine being finished

Synopsis:

Amy Sutton has decided Sweet Valley High needs slam books. They were all the rage at her school in Connecticut, and she thinks it’s high time Sweet Valley got with the program. She explains the concept to everyone at lunch, and everyone is all, “Yeah! I’m gonna go get my notebook right now!” But then Liz is all, “But guys, won’t someone get hurt?” and everyone boos her away from the table. Amy tells her not to worry because it’s all in good fun.

A. J. Morgan is the new guy at school and he’s the most gorgeous guy Jessica has ever seen. She’s actually flustered when she talks to him, blushing and everything. When everyone’s slam books list her as Biggest Flirt, she can’t believe it and doesn’t want A. J. to think of her that way. She decides she’s not going to be flirtatious anymore. She, Cara and Lila run into A. J. and Jessica gets all tongue-tied and doesn’t speak to him. Cara and Lila think it’s all part of her new “Not a Flirt” personality.

Olivia and Roger are having problems and they end up breaking up. Olivia and Jeffrey have been working together on a new literary magazine at school. Jeffrey’s going to do a photographic essay and take a bunch of pictures of a girl in transition from sadness to happiness. He wanted to use Liz as his model, but her face is too sunny and happy for the early shots. He thinks Olivia might work. Liz agrees with him. Then Jeffrey and Olivia start showing up in everyone’s slam books as Couple of the Future. Liz doesn’t mind until Jessica convinces her to be worried about it.

Jessica is actually really cute around A. J. She’s all uncoordinated and can’t stop blushing. At a basketball game, she screws up all the cheers and the pyramid because she can’t stop looking at A. J. Everyone is at the Dairi Burger after the game and Amy has her trusty slam book. She’s showing it to the guys and the newest entry under Couples of the Future is A. J. and Elizabeth. Jessica is horrified.

The next day, Jeffrey calls Liz and says he won’t be able to pick her up for the beach until two because he’s taking pictures of Olivia for the thing. Liz tries to keep calm, but then Cara comes over and tells her she saw Olivia with her arms around Jeffrey. Liz is pissed. She doesn’t want to be alone, so she goes to the beach with Cara and Jessica. Lila tells Liz to talk to Jeffrey and even offers to talk to him for her, but Liz isn’t having it. She just gives up and decides the relationship is over.

Liz sees A. J. playing volleyball down the beach and decides it would be fun to flirt with him to keep her mind off Jeffrey. Acting like she just woke up from a motorcycle accident-induced coma, Liz goes up to A. J. and gets to flirtin’. Everyone is looking at her like she’s nuts, except Jessica, who’s looking at her like she’s going to kill her. Jeffrey and Olivia get to the beach just as Liz is walking back to her towel. They apologize for taking so long, but Liz isn’t interested and says A. J. is about to teach her how to windsurf. She stalks off toward him and Jeffrey is upset. The girls tell him why Liz is so mad and he explains that Olivia had something in her eye and he was trying to help her and that must be what made Cara think they were making out. Lila says she’ll fix everything and even tells Jeffrey that if Liz doesn’t come crawling back in five minutes, she’ll take him out to an expensive restaurant. They all watch her try to talk to Liz, who just shakes her head and goes back to A. J. Lila is decidedly smirky when she tells Jeffrey they’ll have a strategy session over dinner that night.

Olivia goes to the Wakefields’ to talk to Liz about what happened, but only Jessica is home. Liz is out with A. J. Olivia tells Jessica she wants to find out who started pairing her with Jeffrey in the slam books. She thinks that person is the one responsible for the break up. Olivia and Jessica wrack their brains but can’t think of who would want to break them up. Uh, how about the person having dinner with Jeffrey right this very second?

A. J., who likes shy girls “like the ones back home in Atlanta,” has kind of gotten sick of Liz and her flirting. In fact, Jessica seems to be the only girl around who isn’t aggressively flirtatious. He tells her he wants to go out with her and she’s all happy about it, even though she knows she’s nothing like he thinks she is. What kind of jackass goes out with one twin and then just goes after the other?

Olivia and Jessica see Lila and Jeffrey together at school and figure out she’s probably the one who orchestrated this whole thing. But they want to be sure, so Jessica decides she’ll pretend to be Elizabeth the next day and collect everyone’s slam books and say she’s going to do a thing for “Eyes and Ears.” Because nothing’s better than a good old-fashioned and unnecessary twin switch. They find that Lila’s slam book is the only one that doesn’t have Olivia and Jeffrey listed as Couple of the Future. They bring their findings to Liz, who feels like a jerk and apologizes to Olivia for being so upset with her. Then she makes up with Jeffrey and everyone is friends again. The book drags on for a bit more while Mr. Collins throws a party to celebrate Olivia’s literary magazine being finished. A. J. and Jessica come to the party together and Jessica pretends to be interested in literature. Then Olivia and Liz make a new category in everyone’s slam books for Class Sneak. They write Lila’s name in every book as revenge for all the misery she caused over the last week. Sweet.

Quotes:

Elizabeth finished the juice with a slurp.

Seriously? Why do I need sentences like this in my life? Ugh.

“I can hardly sit down and say, ‘OK, Jeffrey, tell me why Cara happened to see you with your arms around Olivia today.’”

Why not?

The Cover: Wow, nice sweater, Jess! I don’t know who that ugly chick is writing in the notebook. I guess it could be Amy, but I thought Amy was way prettier than that.

And then, after all that, there’s this: