Shannon's Sweet Valley High Blog

The moral of the story: You better not ground your kids. They might join a cult.

The Big Deal: Nothing, really.

Synopsis:

Poor Jessica has been grounded for three weeks because of a failing math grade. Her friends have been doing fun things without her the whole time and Sam has been too into dirt biking to come over much. On her very first day of freedom, Jessica wants to spend the whole day with Sam. They go out to breakfast, and then Sam mentions that day’s race. Jessica is appalled that he actually plans to race that day, and he says he’s told her all about it and has been preparing for it all week. Jessica is super pissed. She storms out of the restaurant and drives to the mall, thinking she’ll feel better if she does some shopping. She sees a boy who looks like Sam and a group of girls who remind her of her friends who have “abandoned” her, and she starts to cry. A ginger kid sits down next to her. He introduces himself as Ted and says he knows exactly how Jessica feels. He used to be down in the dumps all the time, too. He even ran away from home, but then he met Adam Marvel. Adam befriended Ted and introduced him to a group of people who never criticize or judge. They call themselves the Good Friends. Ted lives with them now, and he invites Jessica over for dinner.

The address Ted gives her is in the bad part of town, the part where nobody Jessica has ever talked to has ever set foot, except Tricia Martin. She stops the car in front of the crappiest house ever and is dismayed when Ted runs out of the house and tells her everyone is dying to meet her. Ted introduces her to everyone, and over dinner, Jessica tells the Good Friends her whole sad story. When she’s finished talking, one of the other kids says she’s never met a cheerleader, and another says he didn’t think cheerleaders actually had problems like regular people. I can’t make this stuff up, folks. With the exception of a sulky girl named Susan, everyone is in awe of Jessica and they want to know when she’ll be moving in. Jessica is taken aback and says thanks, but no thanks. For the rest of dinner, the Good Friends lament that Adam isn’t home yet and talk about how awesome he is. Just as Jessica is leaving later, Adam Marvel comes home. He’s about thirty and gorgeous, so of course Jessica stays longer to talk to him. She’s fascinated with the man, so when he asks her to come back the next day to help the group with yard work, Jessica agrees.

When she goes back the next day, Adam personally asks her to help him clean out the garage. Jessica is totally excited that she’ll spend the whole day alone with him. Susan comes into the garage and says she thought Adam wanted her to help him. Adam tells her he changed his mind. Susan gets pissed and stalks off. Adam explains to Jessica that Susan is new to the group and hasn’t quite learned how to be a Good Friend yet. She’s still hanging on to her old selfish ways. Jessica deduces that Susan has a crush on him. Adam is delighted at Jessica’s intelligence and gives her a hug.

Jessica starts spending all her time with the Good Friends. Adam doesn’t like flashy clothes, so Jessica starts wearing weird shit like tweed skirts with white blouses. One of the things the group does is collect money for charities, and the first time Jessica goes with them, she collects more than anyone else. On the way back, Adam stops the van at the grocery store and takes some of the collected money to buy food. Jessica says he can’t use the charity money for that, but Adam assures her it’s okay.

After a few weeks of Jessica brushing him off, Sam gets fed up and shows up at her house. He demands to know what her problem is and what she’s been doing lately. Adam has told her to keep the Good Friends a secret, so Jessica avoids the question and accuses Sam of checking up on her. She really wants him to leave so she can daydream about Adam, so she tells him to go home and watch television with his bike, then goes inside.

If you’re wondering why Liz hasn’t noticed what’s been going on with Jessica, it’s because she’s having a problem of her own. She and Todd have joined the new bowling club. Justin Silver, the kid coaching the team, has a crush on Liz and she doesn’t know what to do about it. She thinks he’s handsome and funny and all that jazz, but she loves Todd. When Justin asks her out, she says he only likes her because she’s pretty, but Todd knows her well and they love each other. She wants to tell Todd Justin asked her out, but the opportunity doesn’t present itself and she feels guilty. Anyway…

One night at dinner, Ned tells Alice and Liz about the Good Friends, a new group in town that claims to raise money for charities. Unfortunately, some of the charities the group says it works for don’t exist, and others say they’ve never heard of Good Friends. And apparently, Adam Marvel, the group’s leader, may be setting up groups like this all over the country. Maybe he’s starting a cult! When Alice, Ned and Liz have finished talking about Adam Marvel, they all gossip about Jessica for a while and make fun of her clothes.

Sam tells Liz he’s worried about Jessica and that she’s been lying about going to the library every night. Liz realizes she needs to try to talk to Jessica, and she decides a good, neutral subject would be Ned’s news about the Good Friends. Jessica is furious when Liz accuses them of being a cult. She throws Liz out of her room. Liz thinks about Jessica’s reaction and puts it together with Sam’s complaints and Todd’s assertion that he saw someone who looked like Jessica collecting money at the mall. Liz is sure it all fits together somehow, but she just can’t…quite…figure…it…out.

The next day, Sam comes over to the Wakefields’ house and drags Liz and Todd to his car, saying he followed Jessica that morning and he knows where she’s been going. They drive to the worst part of town and see the twins’ Fiat parked outside a house with a sign hanging on the door that says “The Good Friends.” Liz explains to Sam that she thinks Jessica has joined the cult, all while Todd sits there telling her she’s jumping to conclusions. Liz waits until Jessica gets home that night and tells her she knows where she’s been going. Jessica is mad at first, but then she tells Liz all about Adam and the things he does to help others. She promises she’ll leave the group immediately if it turns out there is any truth to Ned’s claims.

Liz is still worried, so she decides to be Jessica and infiltrate the cult. She forces Jessica to go to a movie with Sam, then she and Todd go to the house, where Todd will wait outside just in case Liz needs help. The Friends are having a “discussion night,” which basically consists of everyone saying they agree with Adam. Liz thinks Adam is totally creepy. A group of Friends comes in all worked up about something. They were collecting at the mall when one of them, Brian, disappeared. Adam sends everyone to the mall to look for him, except Liz and Susan, the sulky girl. Adam sees the other kids out, and while he’s gone, Susan whispers to Liz to get out while she can. Liz is confused, and then Adam comes back so they can’t talk any more. Liz talks to Todd that night and tells him how scared she was. Todd tries to convince her to tell her parents what’s going on, but Liz is sure that’s a bad idea.

That Justin guy keeps bothering Liz, so she finally agrees to go out with them. They go to the mall, where they see one of the cult members collecting money. Liz freaks out and pulls Justin in the other direction. She doesn’t feel like she can tell him what’s going on, and this makes her really wish she was with Todd instead of him. Blargh.

At dinner one night, Ned starts talking about the Good Friends investigation. Liz and Jessica find out Brian’s parents snatched him back, and once he’s had time to recover, he’ll testify against Adam Marvel. Liz and Jessica argue later, and Jessica finally lies and says she’ll stay away from the group. She goes to the house the next night and tells Adam everything. They talk about Brian, and Adam says it was horrible of his parents to kidnap their own son. He’s upset that he has no way of contacting Brian, and manipulates Jessica into thinking it’s her idea to get Brian’s address and phone number from Ned’s files.

She meets Adam the next day and gives him Brian’s address. Jessica asks him what’s to stop Brian’s parents from taking him back again, and Adam says they’re going to move on and set up house in another town. He tells Jessica the group needs her more than ever, especially now that Susan has gone home. The next night, she packs a bag and heads for the house. She hesitates when Adam tells her to get into the van, and then Liz, Sam and Todd show up. Sam runs inside while Liz pleads with Jessica to come home with her. Jessica is torn, but keeps defending Adam. Then Sam comes out of the house carrying Susan in his arms. He found her bound and gagged upstairs.

Todd has called the police, and they arrest Adam, Susan explains that she’s a reporter, and everything is back to normal by the next page. Sam apologizes to Jessica for not realizing how depressed she was from being grounded. Steve says he’s upset that Cara is going to London for a week, and then the book ends.

Quotes:

There was only one blonde in the room, and she didn’t even have a tan.

This pretty much sums up Jessica’s first impression of the Good Friends.

Sam knew she didn’t like popcorn, but did he care? No. He liked popcorn, so every time they went to a movie, he bought popcorn. And every time, he ate it himself!

That’s because he likes it, Jessica.

“A cult!” Elizabeth gasped. “Here? In Sweet Valley? But that’s impossible!”

I love that Liz’s reaction to stuff like this is never “That’s awful!” or “That’s scary!” Her first reaction is always to say it’s impossible.

The Cover: She really must be brainwashed if she left the house looking like that. The cover art is really bad lately. She looks about twelve. Sam is pretty cute. Ted looks dirty somehow.

The moral of the story: Only American girls can join sororities.

The Big Deal: Party at Rosa’s house, PBA picnic at Secca Lake, induction dance/party at Lila’s

Synopsis:

Rose Jameson is new at Sweet Valley High. She’s super popular already, but she has a deep dark secret: her real name is Rosa Jiminez, and she is a Mexican. Her parents changed their last name to Jameson when they came to America, but Rosa was still made fun of all the time at her old school in Texas. When the Jamesons moved to Sweet Valley, Rosa decided to be Rose. The Jamesons have light enough skin for Rose to get away with this.

Rose has been invited to be a pledge in Pi Beta Alpha’s pledge rush. She’s happy and excited, but part of the process is an interview given by Lila. When asked, she says Jameson is an English name and that her family came over on the Mayflower. She says she’s from Boston instead of Texas. She tells a lot of big lies: she’s related to Queen Elizabeth, her family traveled to England, she met Princess Di and Fergie. The Pi Betas are totally impressed.

Rose is doing well in her pledge tasks, but Jessica, Lila and Amy show up at her house one day. She starts to panic, but manages to stay cool. The girls don’t stay very long, and after they leave, Rose realizes she had nothing to worry about and she should invite them over all the time. That very evening, she calls the other pledges and invites them over for the next afternoon. Then her parents tell her that Nana Jiminez will arrive tomorrow for a two week visit.

While Nana is in town, Rose has to keep coming up with excuses about why she can’t have anybody over to her house. She goes home every day right after school to spend time with Nana. Nana disapproves of Rose’s short hair and short skirts, and doesn’t like that Rose’s mother can’t cook very well. She shows Rose an old family recipe one night, and after that, Rose is no longer ashamed of her heritage. That came about suddenly, didn’t it? Even though she is no longer ashamed, there’s no way she can go back on the lies she told the Pi Betas.

Annoyed at Rose’s recent anti-social behavior, Lila tells Rose her third pledge task is to have a party Saturday night at her house. Rose is in a panic because Nana will be there and everyone will know she lied. By a stroke of luck, Nana’s favorite singer will be giving a concert on Saturday night about an hour away from Sweet Valley. Rose buys three tickets and convinces her parents to take Nana out of the house. After all the guests arrive, Nana comes back to tell Rose she baked her a cake for the party, then she leaves again. When asked, Rose tells her friends that Nana was the cleaning lady. Oh, you bitch. Then Rose looks at the cake and sees it says, “To Rosa and all her friends. With love from Nana.” Rose dumps the whole thing in the trash. Oh, now I really hate her.

Nana goes home and Rose is free to hang out with her Pi Beta friends. They have a picnic at Secca Lake as a celebration for the pledges’ tasks being finished. While they’re hanging out at the lake, a little girl wanders over and somehow falls in an old well. The PBAs gather ’round the well and freak out when the girl starts trying to climb up using a rotten piece of wood. The girl starts crying and speaking in Spanish. Rose knows she’s the only one who can help her, but she’s so worried about what the other girls will think if she starts speaking fluent Spanish. YOU BITCH! Help the kid! After a few minutes, she realizes she really does have to help, so she starts talking to the girl. She keeps her calm until the park ranger and the girl’s parents are located. When the girl is out of the well and safely with her parents, Rose finally tells everyone she’s Mexican and then she runs away.

Rose is at home crying when the Pi Betas come over. They tell her they still want her in the club, especially now that she’s a hero. Lila says it’s okay that she’s Mexican, and that the Pi Betas will keep it a secret for her. So now Rose is suddenly all about being a Mexican and she’s upset that the Pi Betas would ignore her heritage like that. She thinks she has to choose between being a Mexican and being in Pi Beta Alpha.

A few days later, Rose is shopping with Jessica, Lila and Amy for dresses to wear to the induction party. All four of them try on dresses and check each other out in the mirror, and Rose doesn’t like that she looks just like the rest of them, just one more American girl. Nana made her a dress before she went home, and Rosa decides to wear it to the party. At the party, when Lila gives her the sorority pin, Rosa turns down membership and says she’s proud to be Mexican so she can’t join. I’m not lying. Then she says she wants to remain friends with everyone. Instead of telling her to take a hike, all the girls are relieved Rosa still wants to hang out with them.

Whatever. Here’s the B story:

Jessica is going out with Sam Woodruff. She’s totally in love with him, but he’s always hanging out with this Lana chick from his own school. Jessica is failing math, but she wants to keep an eye on Sam, so she keeps going out with him instead of studying. She fails a math test, then throws away the warning slip her teacher sends home, sure she’ll pass the next test. She fails the next test, too, so the teacher calls Alice. Jessica is grounded and can’t go to the PBA induction party. She feels like this is completely unfair, and she accuses Alice and Liz of trying to ruin her life and sabotage her relationship with Sam. For real.

Quotes:

…In the back by the pool, there are a dozen fairy-tale princesses, Rose thought, and they’re going to make me a fairy-tale princess, too….

They’re just a crappy high school sorority, Rosa.

“’Bye,” Elizabeth added softly, hoping Todd wasn’t really offended by what she said. After all, she and Todd had always spoken their minds with one another.

Yeah, and how many times have you broken up so far? It might be worth it to soften your punches every now and then.

The Pi Betas had accepted the fact that Rose was Mexican, but it was obvious they would just as soon ignore it. And they seemed to assume Rose wanted to do that, too. The other girls might not be overtly disturbed by the fact that Rose was a chicana, but they certainly were not going to encourage her to explore her heritage. No, if Rose joined the Pi Betas, she would have to deny the biggest part of herself. She would have to become completely American.

What the hell are you talking about? You’re the one who wanted to deny your heritage. The Pi Betas are just going along with what you started, dumbass.

The Cover: Awesome mom jeans! And that purple blazer over that purple t-shirt looks great! And I guess Rosa’s dress is supposed to look Mexican, but I have one very much like it in my closet and I’m not even a little Mexican.

The moral of the story: If you feel your family doesn’t appreciate you, try running away from home. You will be welcomed back with open arms and may even get a new sweater out of the deal.

The Big Deal: Party at Cara’s

Synopsis:

The twins have an unexplained week off school. Steven is taking the rest of the term off from college because he’s having problems dealing with Tricia’s death (remember that, from six books ago?). Jessica asks him if he wants to come to Cara’s party and the whole family gives her grief about how insensitive she is. At the party, Jessica gets sick of hearing everyone talk about how awesome Liz is and goes out to the pool house to be alone. She runs into Nicky Shepard there. He’s a Sensitive Bad Boy. His parents don’t have time for him because his little brother has asthma, which I guess is a really big deal or something and requires a lot of attention. My brother has asthma and we just went ahead and got him an inhaler, but whatever. Nicky and Jessica make out and spend the rest of the night dancing. Liz disapproves. Jessica gets mad.

Liz and Steven go to Casey’s for ice cream and discover Ricky Capaldo working there. We find out later that Ricky’s dad has stopped paying child support and Ricky’s working to help his mother. I seem to remember that being a big scandal when it was happening to Roger Barrett, but I guess Ricky’s cooler than him or something so it doesn’t matter. Ned Wakefield is Ricky’s grandparents’ lawyer. Mrs. Capaldo won’t let them see her kids. Over dinner one night, Liz gives Ned some suggestions about the case. Ned takes them into consideration and ignores Jessica’s comments. Jessica leaves the house and runs into Nicky. He tells her he’s running away to San Francisco in a few weeks.

Liz tries to talk to her parents about how depressed Jessica seems, but they don’t see a problem. She tries to convince Ned to ask Jessica to come along with them to the Capaldos’ court hearing, but he refuses. He makes a good point, that he doesn’t want to give in to Jessica’s every whim, but it seems like now, when she’s feeling so crappy, is a bad time to suddenly grow a backbone about it. At the courthouse, Ricky asks Liz not to write the article she’s working on about the case. ‘Cause you know the Sweet Valley News wants a sixteen-year-old’s article for their paper.

Nicky and Jessica go to a party and he asks her to come with him to San Francisco. He’s leaving in a couple days now instead of a couple weeks. She declines because she can’t bear to leave her family, even if they don’t seem to like her anymore. They leave the party and get into a car accident because Nicky’s been drinking. His parents come to pick them up and we learn they’re big pieces of crap who care more about the car than they do about Nicky.

Jessica tries to talk to her family about how she’s been feeling, but Alice runs off to work, Ned keeps interrupting her, Steven would rather go jogging and Liz has to get to the newspaper office to talk about her article. Jessica decides to join Nicky in San Francisco. She packs up her stuff and leaves a note for Liz, but when she closes her bedroom door the draft blows the note behind her dresser.

At the courthouse, Liz has a talk with Ricky and solves everything because that’s how she rolls.  At Ricky’s insistence, his mom decides her ex’s parents can go ahead and see her kids and the case is dropped. Yeah, after everyone has paid god knows how much money for lawyers and everything else, a heart to heart with Liz saves the day. When Liz and Ned get home, Liz discovers Jessica’s room is spotless and her clothes are gone. She and Ned go to Nicky’s house to see if he knows anything and Nicky’s mom tells them he ran off and they haven’t cared to try to find him. At the bus station, Jessica waits until the last minute to get on the bus because she’s hoping her note will make her family rush to the station and tell her how much they love her. They don’t come (take that, bitch) and she finally gets on the bus.

Steven finds out from a mutual friend that Nicky’s gone to San Francisco. He and Liz get to the bus station too late and follow the bus to its next stop. They find Jessica and bring her back home. They all have a long talk and everything is great. Jessica asks for a new sweater and Ned says she can have it. Because he’s just glad she’s home. Man, do you know what would have happened to me if I’d have pulled something like that when I was a kid? I for sure would not have gotten a new sweater.

Quotes:

“It’s so hard with school being out next week. There aren’t any dances or games or anything.”

“Cara’s having a party tomorrow night,” Jessica offered.

It must be devastating to not have any dances or games or parties at Lila’s house. I guess a party at Cara’s is the next best thing.

In one corner a group of people were playing Trivial Pursuit.

This is why we like Lila’s parties better. Seriously? Trivial Pursuit at a high school party? I mean, my friends and I would have done that in high school, but we were nerds, not popular and awesome like this crowd.

Elizabeth introduced the couple to Steven. “Bill’s a champion surfer,” Elizabeth said. “And DeeDee is a terrific artist.”

And that’s all they’ll ever be…

She could see herself coming back to Sweet Valley a few years in the future. She would be independent, sure of herself, someone who had made it on her own without anybody’s help. Then her family would see. Then they’d be sorry they had liked Elizabeth.

Now people aren’t even allowed to like Elizabeth? I think you’re asking a little much, Jess.

“Please, Your Honor.” He paused. “Think of the children. The children,” he repeated quietly.

Oh, sweet melodrama.

Jessica and the Number 137:

“I have a date with Neil, and he’s seen everything in my closet at least a hundred and thirty-seven times.”

The Cover: Oh, what a great cover. I don’t think I even have to say anything about it.

The moral of the story: It’s totally okay to put a child in danger if it will help your friend walk again.

The Big Deal: The biggest dance of the year. Again.

Synopsis:

George has gotten his pilot’s license and he’s taking Enid up for his first solo flight. He’s planning to break up with her for Robin Wilson, but before he can do it, the plane’s engine cuts out and they crash land in the lake. Enid saves George’s life, but injures her back and is paralyzed from the waist down. The Wakefields, still at the police station from the events in the last book, hear the call on the radio and rush to the hospital to see about Enid. Jessica is suddenly acting like she doesn’t hate Enid and claims she’ll “just die” if anything happens to her.

Jessica and Lila are taking a cooking class. They’re totally not talking because Jessica stole Lila’s boyfriend in the last book, but they make up during their first class. Their cooking instructor, Jean-Pierre, is the most gorgeous guy Jessica has ever seen, at least this week. Jessica vows to make him hers. After class, Lila and Jessica are driving home when they see George leaving Robin Wilson’s house. He was there to tell her he couldn’t see her as long as Enid was doing so badly, but Jessica (and everyone she tells the gossip to) assumes he was there cheating on Enid. Jessica thinks the best way to help Enid is for everyone to give Robin the cold shoulder. Poor Robin has lost her friends and her boyfriends – both Allen, who she broke up with for George, and George. She’s lonely and starts eating ice cream, which we all know is the devil’s confection.

Enid has an operation on her spine. George and Elizabeth have an awkward time in the waiting room because Liz knows about Robin. George tries to tell her it’s all over between him and Robin, but Liz doesn’t believe him because Jessica saw him at her house that day. Instead of mentioning this to George and asking what he was doing there, she just acts snotty and blows him off. Liz reluctantly agrees to meet Robin at Casey’s Place after school one day and Robin tells her the same thing George did, but the whole thing is too much for Liz’s sensibilities and she runs out. Robin sadly eats her sundae alone. She’s gained ten pounds in the ten days since the plane crash.

Jessica is excelling at her cooking class. She plans to make her parents a really amazing meal for their upcoming anniversary. She frequently gets lost in daydreams about being the good daughter and Liz forgetting the anniversary because of all the stuff going on with Enid. Jessica finds out Jean-Pierre is married, and then claims she wasn’t that into him anyway. In other Wakefield news, Alice will be getting a new car, so the Fiat will belong solely to the twins. Hooray for teenagers getting free cars for no reason!

Enid, who gets very little face time considering this book is supposed to be about her, gets half a chapter dedicated to how upset she is. She feels like she’s losing George, though she doesn’t know why. Without his love, she doesn’t think she’ll ever be able to walk again. UGH.

The night of the big dance arrives. Jessica goes with Ken Matthews instead of Jean-Pierre, but did you really think you were going to get him to go to a high school dance anyway, Jess? Mr. Collins dances with Ms. Dalton and everyone cares for some reason. Jessica disapproves of Robin’s date, some guy she managed to scrounge up at the last minute, and also of Enid showing up in a wheelchair because, like, “who goes to a dance in a wheelchair?”

Enid feels bad for not being able to dance with George so she tells him to go ask someone to dance. Idiot George asks Robin. Enid can totally tell from the way they’re dancing that they’re in love and confronts George about it. He gets all flustered and doesn’t deny it and Enid makes him take her home. Liz goes to see Enid a couple days later and finds her acting all weird and denying anything ever happened at the dance.

Jessica cooks dinner for the family as a trial run for the anniversary meal. She manages to poison everyone and they’re all super pissed at her for making them sick. Ha ha.

Liz wants to talk to someone about Enid. She thinks about talking to her parents, but they’re not quite right. Hmm, who could she talk to? I know! Mr. Collins should be able to help! Like he cares about your stupid high school crap, Liz. She goes to his house and finds Ms. Dalton there, which is weird, but whatever. They talk about Enid and George and Robin and now Mr. Collins knows way more about his students than is appropriate. Liz has a plan to help Enid that involves the use of Teddy, Mr. Collins’s son.

A few days later, Liz has Enid and Teddy over at the house. She tells Enid to watch Teddy while he plays by the pool, then goes inside. As part of the plan he and Liz cooked up, Teddy “accidentally” falls into the pool and pretends to drown. Enid manages to find her legs and rescue the boy. She can walk again!

Are you serious?

Later that day, Liz and Todd go to the Dairi Burger. News of Enid’s breakthrough has spread and Liz gets a standing ovation from everyone at the restaurant.

Really? We’re serious?

Everything ends up wonderful for everyone. Enid realizes she just wants George to be happy, so he and Robin are free to be together. Aw, that was sweet of you, Enid.

Setup for the next book: Jessica is fed up with being the bad twin.

Quotes:

Jessica was too good a friend to stay mad at for long, and besides…it was hard to stay angry at Jessica once she put on the charm.

In what world is Jessica a good friend?

I have to make him understand that if he didn’t love me anymore, I might just not be able to go on.

Enid, darling. What are you going to do? Are you going to die from lack of George? I don’t think that’s possible. And I know you’re not going to kill yourself. Cheerleading is the only thing worth attempting suicide over.

The Cover: Liz wasn’t even there when the plane crashed, nor was Enid unconscious. And why do they seem to be floating in some vague gray oblivion?

The moral of the story: If your twin sister is a psychopath, just keep letting her be a psychopath.

The Big Deal: the Phi Epsilon – Pi Beta Alpha dance

Synopsis:

The series opens with Jessica staring in the mirror, complaining about how fat and ugly she is. This affords the narrator the opportunity to tell us that Jessica and Elizabeth are, in fact, the most spectacular looking identical twins in the whole world. I feel like throwing up already.

Liz has a major crush on Todd Wilkins and he seems to like her, too. They agree to meet after school one day, but Liz ends up running late. She gets out to the parking lot just as Todd drives off with Jessica, who thinks Todd is totally hunky. The next day, the whole school is buzzing with the news that Todd and Jessica are the hottest new couple in town. Jessica  tries to hint to Todd that she wants him to take her to the upcoming fraternity/sorority dance, but Todd just keeps asking if Liz has a date. Jessica gets pissed and implies that Liz always has a date, if you know what I mean. Then she stalks away and decides to walk home to see if she can get some horny guys to notice her swinging her hips.

Seventeen-year-old Rick Andover, who dropped out of school six months ago, pulls over and offers Jessica a ride. He takes her home, saying he makes it a point to “know where all the foxiest chicks in Sweet Valley live,” (creeper) and tells her he’s taking her out the next night. Jessica is thrilled with this attention. Rick takes her to Kelly’s Roadhouse, the baddest bar in town, and proceeds to get drunk and start a fight. A cop shows up and takes Jessica home, calling her Elizabeth as she gets out of the car. Caroline Pearce hears this and tells everyone at school that Elizabeth was at Kelly’s with Rick Andover and started a riot. Liz tells everyone she never went there, but nobody believes her, despite the fact that she has an identical twin who would totally do something like that.

Liz’s best friend, Enid, has her knickers in a twist because the new guy, Ronnie Edwards, has asked her to the dance. Things are just swell between them, but Ronnie believes Liz was at Kelly’s and doesn’t think Enid should talk to her anymore. Todd believes it, too, especially after hearing Jessica’s stories about how many guys Liz has gone out with. But when Jessica confesses to Todd that it was actually her at the bar, he thinks she’s covering up for Liz. Then he kisses her for being so noble and asks her to the dance.

Todd spends the entire dance watching Liz, and at the end of the night he kisses Jessica on the cheek. Now she’s super pissed and wants to “get even.” She goes upstairs and tells Liz that Todd “tried everything” and she had to beg him to stop grabbing her. Over the next few days, Todd tries to talk to Liz and tell her he forgives her for seeing Rick Andover (insert big eye-roll here), but Liz is ignoring him because she thinks he tried to have his way with Jessica.

One night, the twins are driving home from the Dairi Burger together when they realize they’re being followed by another car. At a stop light, Rick Andover pushes the twins over and jumps into the driver’s seat of their mother’s Fiat. He’s totally drunk and decides he wants to take them to Kelly’s. He drives them through the Dairi Burger’s parking lot, and Todd can see the twins are terrified. He gets in his car and follows Rick and the twins to Kelly’s, then he beats up Rick and gets the twins home. Jessica says something about never wanting to see the inside of Kelly’s again, and Todd realizes she was telling the truth about Liz having never gone there. Todd and Liz work out all the lies Jessica has told them, and then they kiss.

In a subplot, the Fowlers and the Patmans are having some stupid feud over the football field. The school board stupidly let the lease on it run out, so now the Richie Riches are trying to buy it. Ned Wakefield is a lawyer on the case, working to keep the field in the hands of the high school. The football field storyline is good for only one thing: to make the twins suspect their father of having an affair with his partner when he works late on the case. He’s not.

Sadly, there was no drama at the dance in this book. All that happened was that Todd and Jessica were terrific dancers and the rest of the students cleared the floor for them in true 1980s fashion.

Also, the twins get into the Pi Beta Alpha sorority.

Quotes:

“This sounds like a job for my new tuxedo shirt,” Elizabeth offered…

“Could I wear the pants too? … And the little bow tie?”

Oh, the eighties, how fashion misguided they were!

“I’m sure you’ll be allowed to drive again soon,” she said encouragingly.

But Jessica wasn’t listening to a word. She was out of the car in a flash, slamming the door so hard that Elizabeth winced.

[The next page:]

She threw her arms around Elizabeth and gave her a swift, powerful hug, almost lifting her off the ground.

“I’ve decided to forgive you,” she announced, beaming.

…

Then she shoved her hand into her pocket to feel the car keys. They were gone! And then she remembered Jessica’s sudden hug – that was when she had filched the keys.

This was my first inkling that something was seriously wrong with Jessica’s mental state. Mood swings, trickery, bursts of anger…

“My whole life is going to go right down the tubes! How could he do this, Lizzie?” She began to cry… “Our brother, a member of the Wakefield family, has been spending every weekend…with Betsy Martin! …I will be totally ruined forever when this gets around school!”

…narcissism…

She didn’t like Elizabeth being close friends with anyone but her.

…possessiveness…

Elizabeth wondered how her sister could possibly descend from cloud nine with Todd Wilkins to the pits of depression so fast – and simply because she had to do a little thing like help fix dinner.

…manic depression…

No guy – not even Todd Wilkins – could take Jessica Wakefield to a dance and treat her like a piece of furniture. He wasn’t going to get away with it, she vowed.

…and a vengeful mind.

“I can’t ever stay angry with you…”

And that about sums up Liz, loyal to an insane sister who spreads lies about her, steals the boy she likes and lets rumors that she’d been arrested go uncontested.

Jessica and the number 137

“You’ve got to be seven hundred and thirty-seven kinds of idiot not to be excited about associating with the best girls at Sweet Valley High.” p. 35

“He has got to be the most wonderful boy in a hundred and thirty-seven states!” p. 108

“This family has got to be the biggest bummer in five hundred and thirty-seven cities!” p. 111

“I’ll never forgive you, not if I live to be a hundred and thirty-seven years-” p. 182