The Big Deal: Staying Up with Bob, whatever that is.
During a Unicorn meeting at the Wakefield house, Janet announces that she has somehow gotten her hands on two tickets to see Staying Up with Bob, a new television show that everyone is crazy about. As she’s making a big deal about who she might take with her, Steven walks through the room and into the kitchen. He looks like a zombie and manages to set off the smoke alarm because he forgot he put cookies in the oven. Everyone knows he’s still not over Jill Hale, and Janet makes fun of him. Jill is dating Janet’s brother Joe, so Janet feels like she’s involved in the situation. The twins are mad because they’re the only ones allowed to make fun of Steven. Jessica bets Janet that Steven will be over Jill in one week. If she wins, Janet has to give her and Liz the Bob tickets. If she loses, she says she’ll give Janet Liz’s brand new camera. Liz is furious, but what can she do? She’s a twin and twins have to make sacrifices. Jessica thinks the best thing to do is to get Steven interested in his platonic friend Cathy Connors, and the best way to do that is to make Steven think someone else is interested in Cathy. Then he’ll realize he has feelings for her.
At lunch the next day, Steven spills milk all over Jill because of course he does. She’s kind of bitchy about it, but Steven manages to save the day by asking her about her hobbies. She says she’s really into motorcycles, so Steven says he’s thinking about buying one. He buys a motorcycle magazine and is dismayed to learn that fourteen-year-olds aren’t allowed to get motorcycle licenses, but he figures he’ll buy one and Jill can just come over and look at it. His hopes are dashed when he skims the classified ads and sees that the thirty dollars he has to his name will not cover the cost of a motorcycle.
Steven is an idiot. I hate Steven stories.
The twins put their stupid plan into action and send Cathy a dozen tulips. Cathy is too busy daydreaming about her secret admirer to pay attention to Steven at lunch the next day, but she does offer to get him hired at the restaurant she works at. Steven, naturally, thinks he’s too good to flip burgers. He goes to the community pool after school to look for a lifeguard job, but the guy tells him he can’t hire anyone who isn’t certified. So he tries the music store, but the man there tells him he can’t hire someone whose only musical knowledge is the top forty. The manager at the computer store tells him he’s useless without programming skills. All of these people tell Steven to try flipping burgers. Steven goes home defeated. He still thinks he’s too good for restaurant work, but he needs a motorcycle, dammit.
Cathy gets Steven hired. He almost walks out when he sees the uniform, but Cathy convinces him to stay. He decides it might be fun working with Cathy, though he’s irritated with her these days because she’s always mooning over her secret admirer. The twins send a glittery letter with each present, and so far she has E, D, and L. Steven does not care because all he can think about is his plan to win Jill over. One day, Steven realizes it’s kind of shitty of him to be doing all this in order to steal Jill away from Joe, who is supposed to be his best friend. He tells Joe he still likes Jill, and Joe tells him to go for it because he doesn’t even like her that much. He says Jill only says she likes motorcycles because Joe likes them, so now Steven doesn’t know what to think.
Meanwhile, in Twin Land, Jessica finds Steven’s sock full of money when she does the laundry (yes, he keeps it in a sock and yes, he put the sock in his laundry basket), and Liz gets all freaked out when she sees Jessica using money she isn’t supposed to have to buy secret admirer stuff. When Jessica refuses to put the money back, Liz says she’s taking herself off of Project Get Rid of Jill and she’s no longer speaking to Jessica. That doesn’t last long, of course. At lunch on Monday, Jessica finally gives in and tells Liz she’ll put the money back.
That night at work, the manager leaves Steven and Cathy alone at the restaurant. They have a food fight because they’re idiots. Jill comes in to order some food and Cathy tells Steven to ask her out. Jill just laughs at him and walks out the door. Steven is depressed for a second, but then Cathy makes some joke and they start laughing again. In about two seconds, Steven realizes Cathy is really pretty, and he likes being around her, and maybe they can be more than just friends. Just then a little boy walks in and gives Cathy some more glittery letters. She pulls out the rest of the letters she has and arranges them to read STEVEN WAKEFIELD. Steven is confused, but he kisses Cathy and that’s when the twins come in and take a picture of the kiss while they jump up and down with glee. Then manager Rick comes in and fires Steven and Cathy.
The Wakefield parents are unhappy when they find out about the bet the twins made with Janet, so they say the twins can’t take the tickets. However, Steven is so happy to be with Cathy that he offers to give the twins money to buy the tickets. So at the Unicorn meeting the next day, Janet is super pissed when she sees the picture Liz took of Cathy and Steven, but she gracefully accepts the money for the tickets. Jill comes in and sees the picture, and later that night she calls Steven to ask him to hang out with her. He tells her no. Jill is a real piece of work.
The twins get to go to the stupid show, which I don’t really understand, but it involves audience members doing stupid stunts. Elizabeth gets called up to do her stunt, which is this: Jessica throws peas at her from across a table, and she uses a knife to fling them back and hit Jessica in the face. She discovered this talent at dinner the other night. Anyway, the twins are celebrities when they go to school on Monday. The end.
“Basketball,” [Jill] said. “That’s the game with the hoop, right?”
A girl after my own heart.
If he bought one now, he could keep it in the garage. That way, Jill could come over and look at it. Maybe they could even sit on the seat and pretend they were roaring through Sweet Valley.
That sounds like a dreadful date.
“You’re both fired,” he snarled.
Steven looked at Cathy. Cathy looked at Steven. Then they both threw their orange hats into the air and shouted, “Hooray!”
I just like that they shouted, “Hooray!”
The Cover: That uniform includes a neckerchief. I don’t blame Steven for almost bailing.