Shannon's Sweet Valley High Blog

• Since book #21, Sweet Valley has seen two summers, a spring break and a Christmas.
• Jessica has dated Nicky Shepard, Robbie October, Jean-Claude, Jay McGuire and Cliff. I think she’s running out of guys to date in Sweet Valley because three of those five guys are from Super Editions when the twins were out of town.
• Todd has moved to Vermont. He and Elizabeth have had a friendly breakup.
• Since Todd’s move, Liz has dated Nicholas Morrow, Michael from Big Mesa, Rene Glize and Tony Sargent. That’s only one less guy than Jessica has dated.
• Steve is dating Cara Walker now.
• Enid is doing just fine since her breakup with George.
• Jessica doesn’t know how to do laundry.
• As far as I can tell, Patty Gilbert is the only black girl in Sweet Valley.
• Regina Morrow can hear now.
• Ken plagiarized one of Liz’s short stories, but he confessed so there are no hard feelings.
• The twins, Bruce and Nicholas Morrow saved the rest of the Morrows from dangerous criminals who had kidnapped them. Everyone seems to be over it.
• Lila has only thrown two parties.
• Sweet Valley High has had four dances.
• I hate everyone in Sweet Valley. Except Lila.

Here’s what we’ve learned in the last ten books.

• Suzanne Devlin is the devil.
• Jessica was nearly raped by Suzanne’s boyfriend. No big deal.
• Liz was kidnapped and tied up for five or six days. No big deal.
• Nicholas Morrow is in love with Liz.
• Liz still hasn’t learned that some promises shouldn’t be kept.
• Tricia Martin has died of leukemia.
• Jessica wants Steven to date Cara Walker.
• Betsy Martin is now enrolled at an art school and seems to have turned her life around.
• Roger Barrett is now Roger Patman, son of Bruce’s uncle Paul. He’s now rich and living with the Patmans.
• Caroline Pearce has a boyfriend named Jerry and she seems to have stopped gossiping.
• Regina and Bruce are in love.
• Regina is currently living in Switzerland undergoing treatments that will hopefully make her able to hear.
• Bruce has stopped being a complete asshole and is now only a partial asshole. This is due to the power of love.
• Jessica and Lila were dating the same guy. He turned out to be a psycho who tried to kill Jessica. No big deal.
• Enid was paralyzed for a while, but Liz helped her walk again by making Teddy Collins pretend to drown.
• George has broken up with Enid to be with Robin Wilson.

I wish I knew these people in real life so I could punch them.

Come back Monday for my recap of #21: Runaway!

First of all, I want to welcome all my new readers! My view count has really skyrocketed the last couple days. I feel so popular! Thanks for reading and thanks to my amazing friends for liking what I write and spreading the word.

Okay, enough sap. We’ve got ten books done. What have we learned so far?

• Jessica clearly has an as yet undiagnosed personality disorder. I’m guessing this one.
• Elizabeth is Jessica’s enabler and scapegoat. Her codependency on Jessica makes it impossible for her to cross her twin or refuse her anything.
• Elizabeth will keep a promise if it kills her. When she makes a promise it’s like she’s made an Unbreakable Vow and she simply can’t break it, even if she knows it’s the right thing to do.
• Liz and Todd have broken up twice so far and had a few snits over jealousy and Jessica. However, when the story’s not focused on them, they appear to have a cute relationship.
• Jessica has gone out with Rick Andover, Todd Wilkins, Bruce Patman, Scott the older guy, Dennis the younger guy, Cara’s cousin*, Danny Stouffer, Tom McKay and Bill Chase. Probably some others I can’t remember right now. Yet in book #10 she hates on Annie Whitman about how many guys she goes out with.
• Enid just turned sixteen in book #6. Her boyfriend George is in college. Creeper.
• Bill Chase is now going out with DeeDee Gordon, Roger Barrett is with Olivia Davidson and Winston Egbert is with Mandy Farmer. Winston seems to have shaken off his crush on Jessica, thank goodness.
• Enid used to do drugs but she’s been clean for two years.
• Robin Wilson used to be fat but now she’s the hottest chick in school and co-captain of the cheerleading squad.
• Todd had a motorcycle for a while but it was totaled in the accident that put Liz in a coma.
• Liz was almost raped by Bruce Patman, but she seems to be over it.
• Jessica was almost raped by Scott the older guy, but she seems to be over it.
• There is no post-traumatic stress disorder in Sweet Valley and it only rains when it’s convenient to the plot.
• Steven, the twins’ brother, is dating Tricia Martin, who comes from a bad family. Jessica can’t stand being associated with the Martins.
• Steven is incredibly boring.
• Ned and Alice Wakefield are probably the worst parents ever, though nobody in the books seems to think so.
• Time has no meaning in Sweet Valley.

Well, I think that about covers it! I plan to do one of these every ten books.

Come back tomorrow for my review of #11: Too Good to be True!

* I think? Whoever she was with when she was supposed to be giving Liz a ride and Liz wound up on Todd’s motorcycle.