Shannon's Sweet Valley High Blog

Sorry, guys. I forgot to do this after #130!

• Jessica cheats on Ken with Christian Gorman. Then Christian dies.
• Todd tries to convince Liz to have sex with him. She dumps water in his lap.
• Jessica and Lila compete over a guy who ends up choosing Enid.
• The twins go to summer camp where Liz cheats on Todd with Joey and makes an enemy out of black Maria’s new best friend, Nicole, and Jessica almost gets killed by a crazed axe murderer.
• Black Maria moves back to Sweet Valley.
• A vampire moves to Sweet Valley and turns everyone goth.
• The vampire falls in love with Jessica before turning into a bird and flying out of town.
• Jessica and Lila go to New York where Jessica falls in love with a rock star and Lila is mistaken for a princess. Then they’re both kidnapped.
• The twins intern at a fashion magazine.
• Todd is discovered by a fashion photographer and cheats on Liz with a supermodel.

• The incredibly boring and long story arc about Jeremy and Sue finally ends with Jeremy going to jail.
• Ken and Jessica start going out. Liz gets jealous and tries to keep them apart. She fails.
• Heather Mallone breezes into town and becomes co-captain of the cheerleading squad.
• Robin Wilson suddenly has a father whose job forces the family to leave Sweet Valley.
• Liz is inexplicably just as good at cheerleading as Jessica.
• Liz and Todd break up twice.
• The SVH cheerleading squad places second in the Nationals.
• A psychopath tries to steal Alice Wakefield’s face.
• Liz cheats on Todd with Chris from Paradise Spa and John Marin.
• Jessica cheats on Ken with Alex from Paradise Spa, John Marin, Zach Marsden and Christian Gorman.
• The twins and their friends get chased by escaped criminals in Death Valley.
• The twins are threatened and nearly killed by John Marin, a guy Ned convicted back in the day.
• Jessica does well on the SATs and is accused of cheating. Liz does badly because she tries too hard.
• The twins go to visit Steve at college and throw a kegger.
• They decide to drop out of high school and get a head start on their college careers, but their friends convince them to come back to high school.
• Crazy Margo has a twin sister just as crazy as she is. Together, they try to kill Jessica and Liz but are unsuccessful.
• The kids from Palisades High start acting like jerks. Bruce gets the SVH boys ready for a war.

• Lila tricked Jessica into helping her babysit at Club Paradise with her.
• Liz and Bruce became convinced their parents were having an affair.
• Liz and Bruce made out.
• The twins went to London but nobody mentioned Cara Walker or thought to pay her a visit.
• The twins had a run-in with a guy who thought he was a werewolf.
• Liz cheated on Todd with three different guys.
• Liz then decided some feminist literature was just the thing to help her stop cheating.
• Lila’s dating some guy named Robby.
• Jessica interrupted a wedding ceremony because she was in love with the groom.
• Jessica then got engaged to said groom.
• Said groom kidnapped his ex-fiancé so they could get her inheritance.
• That story arc ends tomorrow, thank goodness.
• Liz and Jessica each found time in their busy schedules to reread their old diaries and get all nostalgic.

• Dana Larson breaks up with Aaron Dallas and almost marries a prince.
• Jessica stars as Lady Macbeth in a school production.
• Jessica gets stalked by a crazy person for no reason I can figure.
• Annie Whitman’s mother marries a black man. Annie gets a new black stepsister, Cheryl.
• Cheryl starts dating Steve Wakefield. Neither of them like it and they eventually break up.
• Jessica spikes Liz’s punch at the prom, which results in Liz crashing the Jeep and killing Sam Woodruff.
• Liz gets arrested, but is acquitted when the driver she crashed into admits to being drunk at the time and causing the crash.
• Todd cheats on Liz with Jessica.
• Lila’s parents get back together.
• Everyone hates Big Mesa now.
• Bruce starts going out with Pamela Robertson
• A crazy chick named Margo who looks just like the twins comes to Sweet Valley to kill Liz and take over her life. Margo is killed in the inevitable battle.

• New student: Rosa Jameson
• Jessica joined a cult. She did this because she thought nobody loved her. She thought this because her mother grounded her for failing a math test.
• Cara Walker moved to London. Steve almost married her to keep her from going.
• Liz and Todd have broken up three times in the last ten books.
• The twins appeared as guest stars on a soap opera.
• The twins got a new Jeep. It’s black with chrome trim.
• Jessica proved herself to be way more badass than Bruce.
• Todd is a tool.
• Liz went on a total crusade to publish an article about sexual harassment in The Oracle.
• Jessica painted her bedroom purple.
• John Pfeifer is now a serial rapist wannabe.

• Bruce Patman doesn’t really kiss like a jellyfish.
• Enid and Jeffrey thought they liked each other, but have agreed to just be friends.
• Enid’s alcoholic father is now in recovery.
• Jessica gets to be on television. Well, Liz gets to be on television, but everyone thinks she’s Jessica.
• Lila plays the marimba.
• New students: Andrea Slade, Sara Eastborne, Tim Eastborne.
• Liz has uncovered a drug ring and become a hero, all because of a camera given to her by Regina’s mother.
• Robin stopped eating for a while, but she’s now recovering.
• Tom McKay is probably gay, though the ghostwriters are very careful to always say things like, “Tom had begun to question his sexual orientation.” Nobody has ever come right out and said Tom is a homosexual.
• Amy is actually dating a serious guy named Barry, and she seems to really like him.
• Jessica is Miss Teen Sweet Valley.
• Annie Whitman is dating Tony Esteban, who was mixed up with steroids for a while.
• Jean West is now dating Scott Trost.
• Claire Middleton is dating Danny Porter.
• Olivia is dating James Yates.
• April Dawson is ugly and her boyfriend is stupid.

I’m back! I just couldn’t stay away.

Here’s my latest 10 book recap. I’ll have a regular post up in a few hours.

• Jessica creates two separate personalities in order to date different kinds of guys. I think she’s insane.
• Liz learns how to surf, almost drowning in the process.
• Liz and Todd break up a number of times.
• Steven Wakefield is a crazy and creepy stalker who thinks girls who look like Tricia Martin are actually his dead girlfriend come back to life.
• Jessica dates some hippie weirdo who wants to save the planet.
• Ned and Alice Wakefield separate and then get back together.
• Ned runs for mayor of Sweet Valley, but drops out of the race to endorse Mr. Santelli.
• Liz assumes it’s her fault her parents are breaking up, so she runs away from home. And by that, I mean she spends the night at Enid’s house.
• Jessica wants to hook Alice up with Mr. Collins.
• Dana Larson is now dating Aaron Dallas. It’s all Liz’s doing.
• Andy Jenkins is black. Charlie Cashman has a problem with this.
• There’s a girl on the football team.
• Bruce Patman is just as arrogant and horrible as you always suspected.

• Ronnie Edwards had a gambling problem.
• John Pfeifer steals his crush, Jennifer Mitchell, from Rick Andover.
• Jennifer Mitchell is insane.
• Kristin Thompson is not impressed with Bruce’s overtures and thereby becomes one of my favorite characters ever.
• Shelley Novak is tall.
• Jessica is stalked by a psychopath.
• Jessica and A. J. break up.
• Jessica and Winston get stranded on a deserted island during a field trip. They become all buddy-buddy, but by the next book Jessica is treating him like she always has.
• Olivia Davidson stalks her art teacher.
• The twins’ neverending summer at the Sweet Valley News has finally ended.
• Todd Wilkins moves back to town and is now totally rich.
• Liz breaks up with Jeffrey to get back together with Todd. My readers and I join Team Jeffrey and wish he didn’t have to go. Except Helen, who joins Team Nicholas.
• Ken goes blind after a car accident, but the love of Terri Adams makes him see again.
• Lila is awesome.

I completely forgot to do one of these ten books ago, so here you go. I’ll do two in a row!

• Regina’s still dead. Everyone blamed Molly Hecht. Molly tried to run away from home, then decided to become a better person. I don’t know how that’s going for her because we haven’t seen her since.
• Some chick named Abbie nearly broke up Cara and Steven. She’s never heard from again.
• Jade Wu got her strict Chinese father to let her be a regular American kid. She’s never heard from again.
• Sandy Bacon is a bitch who almost let her boyfriend go to jail rather than tell her parents she was dating a Mexican.
• Lila has had a birthday. Whether or not that means she’s seventeen now is unclear.
• Cara has also had a birthday.
• The twins have spent an entire summer working for the newspaper and solving crimes.
• Enid’s grandmother is as annoying as Enid.
• The twins’ cousin Kelly is insane.
• Robin Wilson is not only a hot cheerleader, she’s also a champion diver.
• Bruce has gone back to his pre-Regina ways.
• Liz has started playing the recorder.
• Amy has introduced slambooks to Sweet Valley High.
• Jessica met A. J. Morgan and had her first serious relationship.

• Liz has fallen in love with Jeffrey French.
• Jessica and Liz got to model in a fashion show at the mall.
• Sweet Valley has seen another winter and another spring break.
• Dana’s cousin Sally is now living with the Larsons.
• The twins have gotten a puppy and named him Prince Albert for some ungodly reason.
• Winston Egbert is going out with Maria Santelli.
• Liz became good friends with Heather Sanford, Aaron Dallas’ girlfriend.
• The twins have an aunt and uncle who live in Kansas. They suck.
• Jessica has hardly dated at all recently.
• Susan Stewart is going out with Allen Walters.
• Liz almost went to a boarding school in Switzerland.
• Penny Ayala is going out with Neil Freemount.
• Bruce and Amy are kind of dating, I guess.
• Regina died.