Sweet Valley High #46: Mademoiselle Jessica
The Big Deal: Unicorn party at Jessica’s, Dynamo concert, fake French dinner
Lila calls all the Unicorns to the Dairi Burger to announce that she has decided Brooke Dennis is Unicorn material. She states her case, everyone agrees, and then Lila goes on to talk about the new stereo her father just bought her and her latest trip to Hawaii. Jessica, as usual, is super jealous and wants Lila to shut up. Brooke, meanwhile, is enjoying an afternoon at the beach with Liz and Amy. She tells them she’s been hanging out with Lila a little lately, but she’s going to back off from being friends because Lila never stops bragging about herself. Case in point, Lila calls Jessica later that night to talk at her for half an hour about the VIP sky box from which she’ll be watching the next Dynamo concert.
Jessica is feeling pretty inferior about her stupid regular family. Just then, she comes across a contest in Teenager Magazine. Just write an essay about your perfect family and you could win a trip to France! Jessica fictionalizes her family members: Ned is a high powered lawyer who paints magnificent paintings on the side, Alice supplements her interior design income by being a prima ballerina, and Steven is a star basketball player who is also a trombone virtuoso. She just writes the essay for fun and has no plans to send it in, but Liz sees it laying around and assumes it’s supposed to be mailed. Jessica is horrified, but forgets about it after a week or so.
The Unicorns throw a party/meeting at Jessica’s house and invite Brooke. They tell her they want her to join and can’t figure out why she wants to think about it for a day or two. Then a special delivery from Teenager Magazine arrives. Jessica’s been chosen as a finalist. She thinks she’ll have to contact the contest people and tell them they’ve made a mistake, but Lila is such a bitch about the whole thing (Paris isn’t that big a deal and you’ll never win anyway, Jessica) that she decides she’ll actually try to win.
Brooke tells Liz about the contest, and Liz tells Jessica to withdraw. But when Marie Harris from the magazine calls to schedule a time to come and observe the family, Jessica is so caught off guard that she agrees. She finally presents the situation to her family, and she’s amazed when her mother agrees to go along with it. She’s so happy she runs out the door, leaving Alice to explain to everyone else that she thinks Jessica needs to learn a lesson. She calls the magazine people and tells them what’s going on, and the rest of the family plans the best way to humiliate Jessica when Marie gets to their house. What a really great family.
At lunch that day, Jessica tells the Unicorns her idea for Brooke’s pledge task is to have her dress in a maid’s uniform and serve dinner when Marie is at the house. Brooke spent a year in Paris and she speaks French, you see. Brooke agrees because she thinks it’s amusing, especially when Liz tells her about Alice’s plan. Brooke even comes over with some old costumes for the Wakefields to wear, telling Jessica they’re all the latest rage in Paris. Jessica thinks they all look weird, but whatevs, Brooke says they’re French.
Jessica spends an entire evening cleaning the house and thanking her lucky stars that she has such an awesome family that really comes through for her. She doesn’t know they’re all a bunch of jerks. The night of the interview, while Jessica is upstairs getting ready, Steven messes up the house, cluttering up every room. Jessica is mortified when Marie gets there and the house is a mess. She tries to keep things okay, but Ned comes in wearing a beret and has a paintbrush behind his ear, Alice serves macaroni for dinner while wearing a chef’s hat, and Steven actually plays his trombone. Badly. After Ned shows off his latest painting (it’s horrible), Alice announces she’s going to perform a dance in the living room. That’s when Jessica demands to know what the fuck is going on.
Marie explains that Alice contacted her and the whole evening has been a joke. Everyone gives Jessica a hard time about exaggerating in a contest SHE DIDN’T EVEN MEAN TO ENTER. It’s all good though. Alice has been doing an interior design job for the parents of Dynamo’s lead singer, Nick England. She gets front row tickets for Brooke and the Wakefield kids, and Nick England pulls Jessica on stage to dance with him. Meanwhile, Lila is stuck in the VIP box, where the PA system is out and the closed circuit television isn’t working. Sucks to be you, Lila!
Oh, and Brooke turns down the invitation to be a Unicorn. Lila doesn’t understand.
“You all remember, don’t you, that my father just bought me a fantastic new stereo?”
Oh, Lila. You’re the greatest.
The Cover: This cover is boring, but Jessica’s hair is really good.