Sweet Valley High Senior Year #45: Tia in the Middle
Alanna the Drama Llama: Alanna gets a rejection letter from Tufts and doesn’t know how she’s going to face her parents. She goes to Conner’s and finds out he’s gotten into Belmont and plans to go there. Tufts and Belmont are both in Boston and they planned to go together, but now Alanna freaks out about Conner leaving her, so, naturally, she runs out the door.
Tia wants to plan a road trip with Conner and Andy. They’ll head up to Seattle after graduation and hang out for three weeks pretending to be cool. Conner likes the idea, but Tia gets pissed when he says he has to run it by Alanna. Meanwhile, Alanna hangs out with her sponsor, Sandra, and is so inspired by how helpful Sandra is that she thinks she might want to go to UCLA and become a psychologist. That dream is short-lived, of course, because Conner, Conner, Conner.
Everyone goes to a little party at Andy’s to celebrate Dave getting into Columbia, and at one point Tia and Alanna are alone in the living room. Alanna is an idiot and tells Tia she secretly plans to follow Conner to Boston next year. Tia, judgmental bitch that she is, doesn’t even try to hide her disapproval. She tries to talk to Conner about it and tell him what a bad idea it would be, but Conner just wants her to mind her own business.
Alanna gets accepted into UCLA (that was fast), but she’s not sure if she cares because, you know, she’s going to Boston. At an AA meeting, Sandra starts talking to Alanna about psychology at UCLA while Conner is sitting right there, so after the meeting he tells her he doesn’t want her to put her plans aside just to be with him. Alanna convinces herself that this means Conner doesn’t love her as much as she loves him, so she freaks out and tells him to go away. He leaves.
Jessica the Flirt: Jessica has been having some trouble getting used to the idea of going to college, so Liz suggests she call Steve and ask him to show her around the SVU campus so she can maybe get adjusted. Jessica is surprised when Steve invites her to a party that night at his frat house. Jeremy gets pissy about it because he wants to hang out with Jessica that night.
There are an awful lot of guys at the party and Jessica starts feeling kind of claustrophobic. She goes outside to the pay phone to call Jeremy, but runs into a guy named Zander (short for Alexander). He’s really cute, so Jessica accepts his offer to show her around campus. Afterward, Jessica gives him her phone number and email address. As you can probably guess, Jeremy is over when Zander calls and he overhears the incriminating message. He decides to believe Jessica when she says it’s nothing.
Jessica and Zander get together to play tennis, and Jeremy later finds Zander’s tennis racket in the Jeep (it conveniently has Zander’s name on it). Jeremy gets upset, but totally backs down when Jessica says this is the only way she knows to get used to the idea of college, now that Jeremy has decided to go to Arizona. Properly guilted, Jeremy sheepishly asks Jessica not to lie to him anymore. He shows up at SVH the next day at lunch and finds Jessica in the cafeteria (where she’s eating with Gina and Cherie for some reason). He says he’s jealous and he knows he could never handle being away from Jessica for four long years, so he’s decided to stay in Sweet Valley next year. Jessica is overjoyed, but she eventually comes to her senses and tells Jeremy he needs to follow his dreams and go to Arizona.
DJ Splendid: Jeff has a gig at Sweet Valley’s newest club, Liquid, and he asks for Liz’s help in picking out something to wear. They don’t find anything awesome enough at the mall, so Liz has this great idea to dress him in women’s clothing. I’m not lying. “You know how glam rockers always have at least some piece of women’s clothing in their outfits?” she says. And incredibly, Jeff thinks it’s a great idea. So they go to Jessica’s room to raid her closet, and Jeff settles on a purple peasant blouse. Now, if you’re unfamiliar with the term, here are a few examples of peasant blouses:
Jeff is supposed to be DJing with another guy who told him not to bring any of his own records. When Jeff shows up at the club, the owner is freaking out because the other DJ’s car broke down so Jeff is going to have to do the gig alone. He says he has to go home first and get his records, but the owner flies off the handle and fires him. Jeff has already been rejected from NYU, where he was going to study music, so he decides this is a sign from above that he’s not supposed to be a DJ. He decides to pretend he wants to be a journalist. Don’t even try to follow this logic. He cuts his hair and starts dressing like a nerd again, and he asks Liz for ideas of articles he can write for The Oracle. Liz wants her super cool DJ boyfriend back.
Zander: I know that rule number four hundred and thirty-seven in the book of dating etiquette says never ask a buddy’s younger sister out, but I can’t help myself.
The number 37 makes a comeback!
“There’s something about Kobe Bryant that I can’t stand,” Jeremy said. “He’s an unbelievable player and all, but he’s just so cocky.”
That’s what she said?
The Title and Cover: Seems to me that Tia puts herself in the middle. Back off, would you? And as for the cover, “We are srs models. This is srs book.”