Sweet Valley High Senior Year #27: Playing Dirty
The Big Deal: Football game
Jade has a big crush on Evan, but she can’t seem to get him interested. No matter how many hints she drops, he doesn’t treat her as anything more than a friend. She thinks he’s concerned she’s not over Jeremy, so she does her best to talk about how happy she is Jeremy and Jessica are back together. Unfortunately, Evan thinks the fact that she keeps bringing up Jeremy’s name means she’s not over him. Oh, I hate you all. Just tell the boy how you feel!
Will hangs around the locker room during football practice for some reason, and he gets insanely angry when Ken walks by him after practice without saying anything. He follows him into the locker room and starts going off about how Ken stole his position and his girlfriend. Ken tries to reason with him, but Will has gone off the deep end. He actually starts going for Ken like he’s going to fight him, but his knee freaks out and he falls down. His buddies, Josh and Matt, take him outside and they all talk about how they wish Ken could be taken down. Will suggests they leave Ken unprotected during a pass play (I have no idea what that means), leaving Ken vulnerable to attack. Matt and Josh aren’t sure it’s a good idea, but they, like, worship Will so they end up agreeing.
Ken is totally stressed out, and not just because Will apparently wants him dead. He’s been doing pretty bad at football practice so Coach keeps riding him. His dad keeps reminding him how important it is to do well at the next game, and Melissa keeps yapping about how he needs to focus so as to ensure they end up at Michigan together. Ken finally can’t take Melissa’s crap one more second, so he breaks up with her in the middle of the hallway at school. Ha.
Tia’s feeling nostalgic, so she calls Rebecca, one of her El Carro friends who ended up at Big Mesa. They meet at House of Java and Tia catches Rebecca up on everything that’s been going on, including Andy realizing he’s gay. Rebecca says she has a recently outed gay cousin who would be perfect for Andy. Tia calls Andy to tell him she wants to set him up, but Andy panics. He tells her he’s absolutely not ready for that yet. Tia channels the Elizabeth Wakefield from last year and decides she knows what’s best. She calls Rebecca and tells her to bring Dale, the gay cousin, to the football game. Andy eventually comes around anyway and says he wants to meet Dale after all, so the football game idea turns out to be a good one.
Game time. Andy and Dale actually click really well. Jade is cheering her heart out and she’s pissed that every time she looks into the stands Evan is talking to some blonde chick. Maria is there covering the game and doing her best not to look at Ken too much. Will overhears a reporter talking about Ken’s dedication to the team, and he starts to rethink his plans for revenge. It’s too late, of course, and Matt and Josh do their thing and let the other team knock Ken down. He stays down for a bit and the team doctor comes out onto the field. Maria jumps up and runs down to the field, and then feels embarrassed when Ken finally stands up.
Ken sits out the next few plays, and then he asks Matt and Josh what happened. They get defensive and say Ken is accusing them of setting him up. A big argument breaks out between the El Carro players and the OG Sweet Valley players. Then, from the sidelines, a shout: “Stop it!” One by one, the divided players slowly turn toward the voice. There they see their erstwhile captain, struggling to stand on his crutches. Will encourages his teammates to band together against the other team. Someone starts a slow clap…
Okay, sorry, it got kind of dramatic there for a second. After Will’s little speech, everyone looks sheepish and gets back to their positions. Then Will says he wants to talk to Ken. Ken is suspicious at first, but it turns out Will just wants to offer some pointers. They decide to call a truce and Ken goes out there to win the game for Sweet Valley. Then the field erupts in a cascade of lollipops and candy canes. What’s with all the mega happy endings lately?
After the game, Melissa goes up to Will and tries to flirt with him. He realizes he hasn’t seen Ken and Melissa even look at each other all night and he deduces that Ken broke up with her and now she’s looking to get back together with Will. He tells her he doesn’t want anything to do with her and then walks away. Nice.
Jade yells at Evan for being a clueless idiot. He has no idea what her deal is, and when he asks her what’s going on, she kisses him in response. So romantic.
I went from Will to Ken. But it doesn’t have to make a huge difference in my life. They’re both hot, they’re both football players, and Ken has the same future now that Will had a little while ago. So what’s the problem?
Melissa’s a fucking sociopath.
The Cover: Even when he’s trying to look tough and mean, he just looks like a petulant child. Which is what he actually is, I guess.