Sweet Valley High Senior Year #26: Too Late

The Moral of the Story: If you break your knee, you could become a delusional mess.

Synopsis:

Jade is totally freaking out about her jackass father’s promise to sue for custody, and the only way she can deal with it is by going to the Riot to dance it out. Some middle aged drunk guy starts hitting on her in a really creepy way, and Evan comes along and makes him back off. He and Jade don’t know each other well, but Evan can tell she’s upset and he offers to listen. She tells him all about her dad’s jackassery, thinking all the while how dreamy Evan is.

Jeremy and Jessica are fighting all the time. Jessica tells Jeremy a story about the cheerleading coach not letting Annie compete because she missed three games, and she can’t believe it when Jeremy doesn’t agree that the rule is totally unfair. Then Jeremy likes the movie they go see and Jessica doesn’t, and she somehow takes it personally when he tells her why he liked it. This is pretty standard Jessica, creating drama out of thin air. The two of them finally realize they’ve just been trying too hard and overthinking everything, and they settle down to play some video games at the arcade where they had their first date.

Will goes back to school for the first time since he got hurt. The first thing he sees is Ken and Melissa making out at Melissa’s locker. He turns around on his crutches and starts hobbling away, envisioning how awesome it’s going to be when he’s the star quarterback again. Will is kind of freaking me out because I’m pretty sure he’s delusional. He never stops thinking about how much he hates Ken for “stealing his life.” Will, Ken did not break your fucking knee, okay? Melissa tries to talk to him and say she wants to be friends, but he doesn’t want anything to do with her.

Evan suggests Jade talk to Jessica’s dad because he’s a lawyer of some kind and he might be able to offer some free advice about Jade’s father. Ned isn’t all that helpful and really just scares Jade more when he says it’s quite possible the judge would side with Mr. Wu. Way to go, Ned. Thanks for your help.

Melissa has got it in her head that she needs to “test” Ken’s feelings for Maria. She makes him take her to First and Ten, where Maria works, so she can watch his reaction when he sees her. Ken is uncomfortable the whole time, but I guess he’s passed Melissa’s test. For now, anyway. Her next test is to have him take her to House of Java, I guess just to see if he’ll do it. Jessica is pissed that Ken would bring her mortal enemy to her workplace, because only people Jessica likes are allowed to have coffee. Melissa goes to the bathroom and Jessica tells Ken it wasn’t cool of him to bring Melissa there and it was also not cool of him to make out with Melissa right in front of Will. Ken, whose thought process doesn’t usually get beyond “food, football, football, football, food, football” has of course not thought about any of this, but now he’s wondering if Melissa is really right for him.

Jade’s father calls the school and tells the school social worker that Ms. Wu is a terrible mother and he wants to set up a meeting with her and Jade. At the meeting, he starts going on about how Jade’s mother is never home because she’s always working. Hey, asshole, maybe if you’d pay some child support, she could stay home every now and then. Jade’s mom makes a lot of good points about how terrible it would be to uproot Jade and move her to Oregon in the middle of her senior year, and Jade makes it clear she and her mother have a great relationship. Suddenly, Mr. Wu sees the error of his ways and apologizes for making hasty assumptions based on such a small glimpse into the female Wus’ lives. He says he won’t sue for custody and he wants to visit more. And then the room exploded in a puff of rainbows and cotton candy. What the hell?

Will is working his ass off in physical therapy, but the physical therapist tells him he’s doing too much and his knee is inflamed. Will says not to worry, he’ll be back on the football field in no time. Dr. Goldstein looks at him pityingly and tells him his knee is never going to be strong enough to play football again. Will’s surgeon actually did tell him this, but I guess Will thought the guy was lying or something. When the physical therapist tells him it’s absolutely never ever ever going to happen, Will limps away on his crutches, visions of Ken Matthews dancing in his head.

Quotes:

As far as everybody in his life knew, he was getting better every day. He’d get back on top no matter what. And then he’d make Ken and Melissa face up to what they’d done.

Oh, for goodness’ sake. They didn’t do anything. Will knew Melissa was a bitch when he tried to break up with her before, and it doesn’t take much to realize Ken hasn’t had a complex thought in years. He’s certainly not smart enough to steal someone’s life on purpose.

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Comments
  • Sandy April 14, 2010 at 2:36 pm

    This was psychotic gold!!! I was entertained the whole way through!
    It had everything, cotton candy, rainbows, delusions. EVERYTHING!!!

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    It’s the best one so far in the series!

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  • The One With... April 14, 2010 at 3:30 pm

    I think Will needs some counseling. Does anybody else see this character in twenty years being the guy who can’t get over his high school football glory days? With the same old tales about the big game and a room full of his trophy’s and, like, his old jersey framed and hanging on the wall.

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    Yeah, I think he’s going to be like that guy in Napoleon Dynamite, living in a trailer and talking about football all the time.

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    Jessica Squits the Quad Reply:

    LOL totally!!!! Doesn’t he become a football reporter or something? Lo-ser. And lol @ Ken hasn’t had a complex thought in years. I can’t believe Jess had to tell him it was mean to take Melissa out in front of Maria before he even thought of it!

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  • alisha April 14, 2010 at 4:47 pm

    “Will, Ken did not break your fucking knee okay?” LOVED THIS! 🙂

    [Reply]

  • Claire April 14, 2010 at 4:58 pm

    @ The One With
    TOTALLY agree with you there!
    I’ve never read senior year and these are awesome, they’re a lot more normal than the original series. Except for rainbows and cotton candy…..perhaps the ghost writer had a bit of lsd before heading to work that day.

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    Ah, well, the rainbows and cotton candy may have been part of my own interpretation of the scene, ha.

    They are a lot more normal than any other series. You’d think that would make them better, but it just makes them boring.

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  • Anonymous April 14, 2010 at 9:54 pm

    This book makes it official that Will and Melissa are psycho spawn and are totally meant to be together. Melissa was delusional for blaming Jessica for all of her problems, and Will is losing his own grip on reality by blaming Ken for all of his problems. See? They’re soul mates.

    [Reply]

    Dee Reply:

    Oops that was me who just commented. Forgot to type in my name. And the Jade storyline was just dumb. Psycho Will was sadly more entertaining.

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  • Sandy April 15, 2010 at 2:59 pm

    I really appreciate you writing summaries for the SV books. They are so entertaining!

    Psycho Melissa and Dumbass Will are an insane match made in relationship hell. Seriously they’re more dysfunctional than Ross and Rachel.

    Jade’s mom rocks. Jade should have vandalized her father’s stupid Mercedes rental but oh well. Happy endings as usual right?

    [Reply]

    Sandy Reply:

    omg, there is 2 of us!?!?

    [Reply]

    Sandy Reply:

    Woops, should I add a 2 to my name 😉

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    Haha, maybe we can call you SandySquared. (I wish I could make a superscript 2 after your name.)

    [Reply]

    Sandy Reply:

    It’s okay second Sandy, I just say retarded stuff and that could get pinned on you. lol

    [Reply]

    Sandy2 Reply:

    lol I think I’ll go by Sandy2 🙂

    [Reply]

  • Lauri April 23, 2010 at 8:10 pm

    I see a fanfiction where Will and Melissa are married because she purposefully got pregnant after finding out there were girls in his study group. He ended up dropping out of college to support them by being a used car salesman.

    And actually, wasn’t Will the one that stole Ken’s life at the beginning of the sr. year series?

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    I can absolutely see Will as a used car salesman. And yeah, good point. Ken was the star quarterback before he quit the team.

    [Reply]

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