Sweet Valley High Senior Year #22: So Not Me

The Moral of the Story: Talking about your feelings is no fun. Try to make the boy guess what you want from him.

Synopsis:

So of course Conner isn’t putting up with some crappy intervention. He walks right out the door, gets back in his car and drives off while Tia chases him down the street. When he gets home that night, he goes to his closet for his vodka bottle (hello, Mrs. Sandborn, maybe you should check your alcoholic son’s room for alcohol). Stuck to the bottom of the bottle is a postcard that must have been on the closet floor. Conner’s father sent it to him after he left eleven years ago. The postcard is from Red Bluff, which is only a four hour drive away. Conner takes off to find his father first thing the next morning, but leaves a note for Megan telling her not to worry. Megan goes to school and shows the note to Liz and the gang. When Andy finds out, he can’t help thinking what a jerk Conner is, putting his friends and family through so much crap. But when he says something to that effect, everyone is all taken aback and offended. Because Conner is just, like, so cool, you know?

Andy is pretty well fed up with his friends because he really needs to talk to someone about his own problems. He wants to tell his parents he’s gay, but he doesn’t know how to do it and it’s stressing him out. When people see him looking haggard, they just assume he’s upset about Conner, and when he tries to broach the subject with Liz and Evan, they tell him they don’t care that he’s gay, nothing’s changed. Well, Andy feels like he has changed and nobody will talk to him about it, goddammit.

Six comes up to Andy after a meeting of the Outdoors Club and asks him what’s wrong. When she says it sounds like Conner’s being flaky, Andy knows this is someone he can actually talk to. He tells her he’s gay and she says all the right things. She gives him some advice about telling his parents, and Andy goes home feeling better than he has in weeks. Good job, Six. Andy finally works up the nerve to talk to his parents, and they’re incredibly understanding. Hooray for Sweet Valley’s first set of decent parents!

Jade tells her mom about Jeremy, and Ms. Wu thinks it must be serious because Jade is acting like she actually cares about the guy. Then Jade drops off a present for Jeremy at House of Java, and one of the guys there teases her about how serious the relationship is. Jade is annoyed because she’s a party girl who doesn’t get serious. She and Jeremy go to a party together and she tells herself the standoffish way Jeremy is acting is totally what she wants in a guy. After a while she realizes she’s just kidding herself and she really wants to be Jeremy’s girlfriend. They go out to celebrate the two week anniversary of their first date, but Jeremy thinks it’s a joke while Jade is totally serious. She buys a sexy black dress and new earrings, and she’s confused when Jeremy just takes her to First and Ten and then home. They give each other cards and then Jeremy goes home. Jade’s note is long and mushy and says she wants to be Jeremy’s girlfriend. Jeremy’s note says, “These have been the best two weeks of my life – or was it three? Whatever. Let’s do it again sometime.” When Jade reads that and realizes Jeremy isn’t anywhere near as serious about her as she is about him.

Conner finds his dad’s name in Red Bluff’s phone book and goes to his house and knocks on the door. Mr. McDermott doesn’t recognize him, of course, and he doesn’t really know how to act when Conner tells him who he is. He asks after Conner’s mom and then tells Conner he can crash with him for a little while. Conner’s okay with the less than Kodak moment reception because the only reason he’s really here is to get away from El Carro. He and his dad end up going to a bar and getting drunk together, so Conner figures he made the right choice in coming to Red Bluff.

Liz has been a wreck since Conner took off, and Evan has been there to offer support whenever she needs it. Tia says something about all the time Liz and Evan are spending together, and Liz totally goes off on her and says they’re just friends, not like Tia and Conner were supposed to be just friends when they made out. Tia gets pissed and goes to Andy’s to vent. Andy has had enough. He tells her to shut up and that he told his parents he was gay without any support from his so-called friends. Tia feels terrible and takes Andy to House of Java, where she asks him all about what his parents said and lets him talk about himself for the rest of the night. Well, isn’t that magnanimous of her.

Evan and Liz go to a movie and then for ice cream and it’s all just wonderful. When he takes her home, Evan leans across the car to open Liz’s door for her, and that’s when Liz realizes she wants nothing more than to kiss him. She goes in for the kiss, but then freaks out and runs inside.

The Cover: This cover is a little different. Most of them are posed shots of someone looking directly at the camera. I don’t know what’s going on here, but Jeremy sure looks like he’s having a good time.

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Comments
  • The One With... April 5, 2010 at 2:14 pm

    I thought Jeremy was, like, head over heels in love with Jade. Whatever happened to that? Also, Andy needs to find new friends.

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    He caught her making out with that Josh guy. He’s forgiven her and all, but I guess he’s just not as into her as he used to be.

    [Reply]

  • Sandy April 5, 2010 at 3:39 pm

    So that’s Jade. And she’s all “Try to catch me, Jeremy!”
    And Jeremy’s all “Not so fast, girly!”

    [Reply]

  • Eliza April 5, 2010 at 6:27 pm

    Uggh. Only in Sweet Valley would either half of a teenage couple actually broach the topic of a 2-week-anniversary, joke or not. What a plot contrivance to create an opportunity for confusion / misunderstanding.

    Also, Jade doesn’t look as “party-girl” as I’d thought she would. VERY ’90s sweater going on. Jeremy looks different every time.

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    He does look different, doesn’t he? It’s annoying.

    Haha, two week anniversary. I was all about anniversaries during my early teen years, but even I didn’t care about the two week anniversary.

    [Reply]

  • Eliza April 5, 2010 at 10:29 pm

    Also I’m sad that the “Jessica: Negligence” tag has been shrinking. This world is still off-kilter compared to reality, so why can’t Jessica continue to be totally crazy?! It’s just not Sweet-Valley-realistic to me without that.

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    I know, I’m hoping that tag will start growing again once we get into SVU. I really miss the crazy Wakefield antics.

    [Reply]

  • Jessica Squits the Quad April 6, 2010 at 4:48 am

    Two week anniversary? What IS that? Is Jade aware that the prefix ‘ann’ means YEAR? What a ‘tard. She’s seriously lacking in the looks department, too. And what a bitch. Nobody messes with J Wake!!

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    I get the feeling that Jade is aware of very little.

    [Reply]

  • rachierach April 6, 2010 at 12:38 pm

    Shannon, how many more of these god-awful books in the SVH Seniors series are there?

    I must be crazy–or old–because I never knew there was a Seniors version of SVH. But I do recall SV University…

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    There are 48 altogether. So, too many.

    [Reply]

  • Amy April 18, 2010 at 10:35 pm

    I know, I’m hoping that tag will start growing again once we get into SVU. I really miss the crazy Wakefield antics.

    [Reply]

  • Afrancis July 19, 2011 at 6:35 pm

    Well, at least they’re keeping Andy around. Once Tom McKay came out of the closet he pretty much disappeared.

    Is Andy the token gay friend? 🙂

    [Reply]

  • Rach October 2, 2013 at 11:13 pm

    Did anyone else noticed that instead of her beat up orange bug that we heard about when she took Jeremy to get burgers instead of buyin milk for Ally, has turned into a black Nissan when she parks it for the sushi place interview?

    [Reply]

  • Brianna August 19, 2015 at 11:35 pm

    Cool

    [Reply]

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