Sweet Valley High Senior Year #13: All About Love

The Moral of the Story: Will Simmons is a douche.

The Big Deal: Big Mesa party

Synopsis:

Liz is pretty much going to be grounded for the rest of her life for sneaking out and going to that party, and she goes to school the next day worried that she acted like an idiot in front of Conner. But surprisingly, Conner is nice. He asks her how she’s doing and then gives her a kiss before going off to class. So I guess they’re a couple now. FINALLY.

Will and Jessica are together, but Jessica really doesn’t like showing it at school. They have an argument at lunch because Will wants to hang out that night but Jessica promised Tia they’d go shopping. Don’t forget, Will’s kind of an ass. Melissa comes out to the courtyard, so Jessica gets up and leaves in a hurry. After school that day, Jessica works her first shift with Jeremy since the breakup. She feels pretty awkward. The phone rings and Jeremy answers it. Of course it’s Will, so Jeremy gets irritated. Jessica tells Will he probably shouldn’t come see her at work tonight.

At lunch the next day, Jessica asks Liz and Conner to double date with her and Will. Nobody actually knows they’re together at this point, so the whole table stares at them and Conner looks like he’s going to pass out. These fucking kids. Liz reminds Jessica that she’s grounded, but Jessica is sure she can talk their parents into letting Liz go. After lunch, Conner tells Liz he doesn’t like Will and isn’t interested in going, but he ends up saying he will if Liz’s parents say it’s okay. It turns out Will isn’t too happy about the idea either, but he tells Jessica it’s fine and if a double date with Liz and Conner is inevitable, they might as well “get it over with.” What a prince. Ned and Alice have a talk with Jessica, and then tell Liz they will unground her if she agrees to get a job, pull up her grades and spend more time on the Oracle. Since Liz has already decided to do all of that, she readily agrees and she and Jessica go upstairs to get ready for their double date.

The date is pretty horrible. Will talks about football all night and then gets annoyed when Jessica asks Conner about his guitar playing. Will doesn’t seem to notice that Jessica is still eating when he says he wants to leave and be alone with her somewhere. Jessica says it would be rude to leave Conner and Liz, but really she’s just sick of Will trying to decide everything about what they do. She tells him she’s not Melissa and she’s not just going to give in to everything he says. Will gets pissed and leaves. When he gets home, his mother tells him Melissa came by and dropped off a box full of stuff he gave her while they were together, including a sweater he gave her as a gift. Will’s a little bummed.

Jessica calls Will on Saturday morning to apologize for the night before and ask him to get together later. He kind of says, “Yeah, sure.” Jessica can tell he’s still upset about her bringing up Melissa, so she’s determined to make their date totally awesome. After talking to Jessica, Will goes to Melissa’s with the sweater. Melissa is outside sunbathing in a string bikini (you know she planned that shit). Will can’t stop staring at her, and he’s depressed when she thanks him for the sweater and then gets up and goes inside. So now, of course, Will can’t stop thinking about Melissa, just like he couldn’t stop thinking about Jessica when Melissa was his girlfriend. I hate this guy. Hate him, hate him, hate him.

So, Will takes Jessica to some Italian restaurant and starts talking about colleges. He says she should apply to a small school because she’ll be happier there, says he’ll sign her up for an SAT prep course (she’s already taken her SATs) and then he orders for her when the waitress comes. She gets upset and tells him to stop doing that, and he says, “Chill out, Melissa!” Smooth. Jessica tells him to take her home.

Conner’s friend, Evan, asks him to go to a Big Mesa party Saturday night. Conner thinks it could be the perfect thing to make him forget about Liz. Ugh, why does he want to forget about her now? I thought they were doing so well. Liz calls and Conner invites her to the party before he can stop himself. He worries he’s turning into a “boyfriend” guy. He’s really annoyed when he gets to Liz’s house and she says her parents want him to come in and say hello. But he deals with it and they go off to the party, taking Jessica with them because Liz didn’t want her sitting around at home all night.

Will wants to apologize to Jessica, but she’s not home. He finds out about the Big Mesa party and drives all the way out there. When he finds Jessica talking to Jeremy, he tries to get her to leave with him. Jessica says she doesn’t want to and this starts a whole thing with Jeremy and his friends. Will invites them all outside where I guess he’s going to beat them all up, but Jessica pleads with him not to fight them. He finally just leaves.

Conner and Liz go into a bedroom to make out for a minute. When they leave, another couple slips in. It’s some tall, good-looking black guy and Tia. Jessica and Jeremy dance together and she realizes how much she misses him and also how mad Will would be if he found out she was dancing with Jeremy. Meanwhile, Will goes to Melissa’s house. Well, that didn’t take long.

The Cover: At no point in this book do Will and Jessica look that happy.

This book apparently used to belong to some girl named Holly (her name is written in sparkly green ink on more than one page). Holly seems confused about someone named Alice. I wonder if White Rabbit was playing while she was reading this book.

Well, Holly, if you’re listening to the song this brings to my mind, the answer is “Jefferson Airplane.”

(As Sarah points out in the comments below, Holly is actually probably looking for Smokie – Living Next Door to Alice. Thanks, Sarah!)

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Comments
  • Dee March 15, 2010 at 1:11 pm

    I remember the first time I saw this cover and thinking to myself how cute they looked. But once you I finished reading it, I just wanted to punch Will. What a dope going back to Melissa. Can’t stand that couple.

    And I kind of missed the old Jessica while reading this. The confident one who would flaunt Will in Melissa’s face. Never did I imagine that I would be nostalgic for Jessica the Sociopath!

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    I know how you feel! Jessica the Sociopath would have handled this whole situation better than this crappy new boring Jessica.

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  • Sarah March 15, 2010 at 3:09 pm

    Hee! The song she’s referring to is actually “Living Next Door To Alice” by Smokie

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    Ha ha, I’ve never heard of it! That’s so funny.

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    Krista Reply:

    I didn’t think ANYONE else knew that song!!! It was one of my late Mom’s favourite songs. (Her name, of course, was Alice). Thanks for reminding me of that one, lol.

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  • Sandy March 15, 2010 at 4:00 pm

    I’m upset there is a chapter called “Throwing Symbolic Enchiladas”
    Ugh, are we going through an emo phase at this point?

    Will sucks balls. But I’m used to dysfunctional relationships, thank you Francine.

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    This entire series is one long emo phase. It never ends. Ever.

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  • Ellie March 15, 2010 at 5:53 pm

    I forgot that the chapters have titles! What are some other good ones?? Also is it possible that Holly was writing notes to a friend in the margins, study-hall style? Love those gel pens.

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  • megan s. March 15, 2010 at 7:59 pm

    who writes in their sweet valley books? haha

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  • Svugirl90 March 15, 2010 at 10:19 pm

    Lol I once opened a sweet valley book to find this gem “I’m sorry I killed your dog. Haha wanna see that new CR movie? Also how does Jessica get away with being such a ….” it actually said the word but I’ll let you use you imagination. For some reason I found this hilarious and kept the book to this day.

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    Ha! That is awesome.

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    megan s. Reply:

    whats the CR movie? lol

    [Reply]

    Svugirl90 Reply:

    I have no idea! It’s bugged me for years. Who is cr?

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  • HelenB March 16, 2010 at 5:00 pm

    If all the chapter titles are as good as “Throwing Symbolic Enchiladas” you seriously have to start a “book’s best chapter title” section. Because, I mean, wow.

    [Reply]

    Svugirl90 Reply:

    Oh that would be so cool!

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    Shannon Reply:

    They’re really not. They’re usually just quotes from within the chapter. These are the chapter titles in the one I’m reading now:

    No Worries
    Deja Vu
    On the Road
    Meant to Be
    Viva Las Vegas
    Insider’s Tour
    Reality Check
    Nothing Less Than Perfect
    Sure Thing
    Different Places

    I’m not sure why they decided on the enchilada thing, but they’re usually really boring.

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  • Lozza October 7, 2015 at 11:38 pm

    Chris Rock?

    [Reply]

  • K Jay March 27, 2017 at 11:47 am

    The song “Who the F*** is Alice” is by a band called the Smokies. We used to listen to it all the time with my mom, whose name was Alice and she thought it was hilarious

    [Reply]

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