Sweet Valley High Senior Year #11: Take Me On

The Moral of the Story: All stepfathers are evil.

The Big Deal: Party at Aaron’s

Synopsis:

The Wakefields are packing up and moving out of Fowler Crest. Will shows up and tells Jessica he had fun at the kidnap breakfast that morning. Jessica knows he’s referring to their kiss and she’s all aflutter, but Lila’s lurking nearby so Jessica tries to get Will to leave. Unfortunately, he offers to help with the move and brother Steve (in his first appearance of the series) is happy to let him. Will insists on hanging around even after all the boxes have been unloaded, but when he tries to kiss Jessica she tells him it’s not going to happen and he needs to leave. Liz is really annoying and pesters Jessica to give Will a second chance. She says Aaron Dallas is having a party on Tuesday night (why Tuesday?) and Jessica should go and talk to Will there. I don’t get what Liz’s deal is or why she’d want her sister to date a guy who told the whole school she was a slut. Is she so miserable over Conner that she wants Jessica to be equally miserable? Whatever the case, she’s a bitch and I hate her.

Conner’s mom is in the hospital after her car accident. She’s physically fine, but she seems to have absolutely no remorse about what happened. She says that because she was drunk when she crashed, she’s going to have to go to court, and her lawyer thinks it would be best if Conner and Megan went along. Conner doesn’t want to help his mother in any way, but he knows that if she goes to jail, he and Megan would end up in Seattle with Megan’s dad. The judge doesn’t end up sending her to jail, but Mrs. Sandborn does get her license suspended for a year and she has to check herself into rehab. When Conner goes to get into the driver’s seat when they’re leaving the courthouse, Mrs. Sandborn wants to know what the hell he’s doing. She doesn’t seem to think having a suspended license is any big deal and she wants to drive her own car. Conner tells that bitch to get in the passenger seat and then make him a sammich.

Mrs. Sandborn finds out the only rehab clinic her insurance will approve is in Minnesota and she has to leave Tuesday. She insists she’s not an alcoholic and the only reason she’s going is because she has to, not because she needs help. She gets Megan’s dad, Gary, to come down and stay with the kids for the month, which pisses Conner right off. He and Gary manage to get into an argument the first night, and Conner leaves the dinner table in a huff.

Jessica goes to Aaron’s party, but she starts to panic when all her friends see Will coming toward her and leave her alone to fend for herself. Lila has told everyone about Will helping the Wakefields move, so now they’re all curious to see what’s going on between them. Will comes up to her and says she looks great. Jessica freaks out and tells Will she doesn’t want him. Then she locks herself in Aaron’s bedroom. Liz finds her later and says she invited Will over for dinner the next night. It was Alice’s idea. She wanted to thank him for helping them move. Jessica is livid about Liz inviting him. So am I. Jesus Christ, Liz. What the hell is wrong with you?

Angel tells Tia he got an interview for the RA thing, but if he’s accepted he’ll have to go early for training and stuff. So instead of going off to college in January like he’d planned, he’d be leaving this Friday. Tia is nervous about losing him, so she thinks maybe it’s time to give Angel her virginity. She tells him what she’s thinking, but he says he wants to wait. Tia assumes he isn’t attracted to her, so she gets upset and leaves. These books are just one stupid assumption after another and it makes me want to stab someone.

Will comes to dinner and charms the socks off Ned and Alice. At the end of the night, everyone leaves Will and Jessica alone in the living room, and Will tells Jessica he wants to go out on a date with her. He’s leaning in all close and sexy, so Jessica has no choice but to say yes. God, this whole thing sickens me. No guy is so good-looking that I’d forgive him for that shit. This is like the “Bruce tried to rape Liz but it’s all good” stuff from the original series.

Conner’s a little jealous that Megan is having so much fun with her dad, and when Megan says Gary is thinking about moving back to Sweet Valley because he misses her and her mom, Conner freaks out. He starts yelling at Gary and telling him to stay away, and Gary says something about when he divorced Mrs. Sandborn, she made threats. Conner wants to know what kind of threats, but Gary won’t say. Conner finds his mother’s files from the divorce and starts reading. He finds out Gary fought for custody of Megan. This doesn’t jibe with the things his mother told him, that Gary had only married her for her family’s money and didn’t care about any of them at all. Conner goes to apologize for being such an ass, but he overhears Gary talking on the phone to his girlfriend, telling her the Sandborns will be out of his hair soon enough and then they won’t bother him ever again.

Angel goes to Tia’s on Thursday night and asks her why she’s been avoiding him. She starts accusing him of wanting to sleep with college girls, and Angel gets pissed. He says he got the job and he’s leaving tomorrow. Tia spends all night crying, and when she gets up in the morning, she races over to Angel’s house. She gets there just in time to apologize and give him a big hug, and then he drives off to Stanford.

The Cover: I don’t understand why they picked this guy to be Conner. He’s entirely too preppy to be the brooding soul that is Conner McDermott. Also, I hope that offer for a free Christina Aguilera cassette is still good.

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Comments
  • Keri March 10, 2010 at 1:27 pm

    Hey, if you get that Christina Aguilera tape, can you use your dual tape recorder to make me a copy? 😉

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    Shannon Reply:

    Fo sho!

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  • The One With... March 10, 2010 at 1:29 pm

    My firs thought was: OMG, a free Christina Aguilera CASSETTE! No way! Anyway…I hate that most of the issues in these books are, like you said, from assumptions. All the problems would be easily solved by the characters talking about it. Ugh.

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    Exactly. I’ve said it before, it’s like one long episode of Three’s Company. Assumptions and misunderstandings galore.

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  • Sandy March 10, 2010 at 2:28 pm

    I’m actually interested in the developing step dad story. Can’t wait!

    On another note, Happy 70th Birthday Chuck Norris!!!!!

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    It is much more interesting than anything going on with the stupid Wakefields.

    Yay, Chuck Norris! You know what they say: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse you in the face.

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  • Lindsay March 10, 2010 at 5:09 pm

    Obviously they should have used Jordan Catalano as the cover model for Conner. For shame, publisher, for shame.

    Liz is such a bitch. For reals.

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    Christine Reply:

    Ew, not a New Kid! Use a photo of that dreamy guy from a-ha! It’s only fitting if they’re gonna quote “Take On Me” for the title. Otherwise I refuse to accept those lyrics applied to an icky character like Conner…I love that song (and video) and want no negative associations!

    Check it out..he really is dreamy. 🙂

    http://media.photobucket.com/image/Morten%20Harket%20take%20on%20me/aha007/Morten04.jpg

    And from the video:

    http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_DjSUiXwbOIY/RmeVnfRT_0I/AAAAAAAAAVA/d_6jbYA7ROY/s400/mh1.jpg

    Although I don’t want to think about how the ghostwriters would contrive to get Conner sweaty. 😛

    I hate Liz too. She’s like one of those frustrated parents pushing the kid to do what she wishes *she* could (in this case, date a jerky guy like Will, ’cause she misses her jerky Conner sooooo much!) I would be instantly suspicious of “charming” guys who instantly win over parents, etc. Jess should date a guy her parents (and sister) disapprove of.

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    Christine Reply:

    Oh my god…I must secretly love the New Kids On The Block and have them on the brain, and I’m so ashamed. You meant the *other* Jordan, who I should’ve recognized from my favorite tv show ever. I hang my head in shame through a noose! (After banging it against the wall…and probably banging against the wall after the hanging too, but now I’m being a tad morbid) 😉

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    Lindsay Reply:

    Hahahaha it’s okay!

    And everyone secretly loves NKOTB. That’s right, I called them NKOTB.

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    Shannon Reply:

    Obviously! He would have been perfect.

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  • Fear Street March 10, 2010 at 9:23 pm

    I’m also loving the Christina Aguilera free cassette offer. I miss the 90s. *sob*

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    thea Reply:

    1999 and we were still using cassette tapes vhs tapes. i was 16/17 and could only dream about the big bulky cell phones the size of a pay phone with the added bonus of giving off radiation to give u cancer. look how far we’ve come in 10 yrs.

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    bayerngirl74 Reply:

    I dunno…we got our first CD player in 1991 I think (and we were no Fowler clan, I can tell you!!!). Were there cassettes still in 1999?

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  • Jenn March 11, 2010 at 6:30 am

    It’s weird because in the second year of SVU, Steven kind of disappears. I think he shows up to give some random advice in one book and they mention that he moved into a new place because Billie’s in Spain, but then he’s never heard from again…

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  • Martha March 11, 2010 at 3:40 pm

    Heh, cover boy kind of looks like a much younger Joey from Friends, although I think this book was published much too late for that to be him!

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    Hmm, yeah. I can kind of see that.

    [Reply]

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