Sweet Valley High Super Edition #10: Last Wish

SVHSE10 - OuterThe Moral of the Story: If your birthday party is too awesome, the universe will retaliate with an earthquake.

The Big Deal: Birthday party for the twins

Synopsis:

The school year is about to end. For real this time. The twins’ seventeenth birthday is on June 13, and Liz wants to plan a surprise party for Jessica. She decides to rent the Beach Disco for the night. At the same time, Jessica is trying to plan a party for Liz. She decides on an elegant dinner party on the beach. So while Liz is spending her life savings on a deposit and guaranteeing the Beach Disco guys at least a hundred guests, Jessica is borrowing money from Steve to hire a jazz quartet for the beach party. Way to go, twins. When Lila and Amy find out there are going to be two parties, they get Enid and black Maria involved in some kind of scheme, the details of which are being withheld from me in an attempt to create suspense.

As for the rest of Sweet Valley: White Maria breaks up with Winston because he blabs that she sleeps with a teddy bear, Ken breaks up with Olivia because she paints a nude portrait of him and insists on entering it in a school art show, Bruce has been telling everyone he’s going to Harvard next year but hasn’t actually gotten an acceptance letter yet, and Todd and Devon are both moping around pretending they’re over Liz.

Whatever Lila’s plan is, she’s calling it The Plan and it seems to involve everyone bailing on the twins and not helping them plan their respective parties. When Friday the thirteenth rolls around, the twins wake up early and have breakfast with Steve and Billie before school. After school, Jessica and Lila go to the beach and start trying to set up their rented tent, but a couple of beach patrol guys come along and tell them they can’t have a party without a permit. At the same time, Liz and Enid go to the Beach Disco to set up, but the manager tells them he has no record of a Wakefield party. Both twins are devastated, and Lila and Enid take them home. They arrive at the same time, and when they go inside they find a surprise party waiting for them. Hooray! But wait, I still have seventy pages left, so I guess some more drama has to happen.

At the party: The twins get a brand new Jeep. Bruce announces to everyone that he’s turned Harvard down so he can attend Sweet Valley University. Winston and white Maria make up. Ken and Olivia make up. Billie leaves in Steve’s car to get ice, but the car dies. Steve and Jessica take the new Jeep to go get her. Todd drops by to tell Liz that he’ll be spending the summer at a basketball camp and he thinks they shouldn’t try to contact each other during that time. Then he tries to go to the bathroom, but Lila’s taking too long doing her makeup. Todd opens the door and gets ready to throw her out. Devon saw Liz and Todd talking together and it pissed him off, so he picks a fight with Liz. Ken, Olivia, Annie and white Maria are hanging out in the kitchen.

Then there’s an earthquake.

Olivia is crushed by a beam falling from the kitchen ceiling. I’m pretty sure she’s dead. Then the whole Wakefield house pretty much falls to the ground. Out on the road, Jessica crashes the Jeep and hits the windshield. And that’s where the book ends.

Quotes:

“After holding the preprom party and the postprom brunch here, my parents have put me on party probation.”

My goodness, that’s a lot of alliteration. Try saying “postprom brunch” five times fast. And hey, since when do Lila’s parents care how many parties she throws?

Ken Matthews…watched Bruce Patman pull his monogrammed pool cue from the stand. The engraved brass plaque on the handle read 1BRUCE1, the same as the custom license plates on Bruce’s black Porsche.

I love that his pool cue says 1BRUCE1. That is fabulous.

“It’s more than a chance to show my work!” Olivia explained. “What’s at stake is my integrity as an artist. I can’t let anyone else’s notions of propriety compromise my artistic vision!”

1. You are a sixteen-year-old high school kid who likes to paint. You don’t have artistic integrity. 2. There must be some kind of rules about showing another sixteen-year-old’s naked likeness in a school art show.

“I’ve been hoping you’d come to your senses and apologize.”

It seems like Ken’s always saying shit like this and then getting all surprised when whatever chick he’s talking to gets pissed off.

The Cover: This cover is lame. Why are the twins black and white while their cake is in the foreground looking all creepily festive? And what’s with the back cover picture?

SVHSE10 - Inner

SVHSE10 - Back

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Comments
  • Merrie January 4, 2010 at 12:45 pm

    From the back cover — “one of your favorite characters may be lost forever.”

    Really? People considered Olivia a favorite character?

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    I always thought she was kind of dumb, but I guess other people liked her.

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    Christine Reply:

    Oh that tagline…it’s just like a crappy TV series announcing someone will die to get people tuning in for sweeps/ratings. So tacky. And it’s never really a major character, of course.

    Olivia was gonna exploit poor naked Ken, so she had to die. Only men are allowed to paint nudes of women, y’know.

    [Reply]

  • Darren January 4, 2010 at 2:55 pm

    Wow!
    Went thru…4 Christmases is it?
    3 Spring Breaks
    2 trips to London?
    Suzanne Devlin showed up twice
    Todd Wilkins moves/comes back BEFORE the year is even over?
    Tricia Martin dies, Steven is deveastated, Steven dates Cara, then cara moves to London. Steven has an interracial date with Annie Whitman’s stepsister, they depart as friends. Then Steven briefly had a fling with Lila Fowler while dating roommate Billie Winkler, if that was her last name.
    Ned Wakefield runs for office, but we don’t know what year though! IF they were STILL int he 80s even!
    Just unbelievable in one year to have all this and MORE!

    [Reply]

  • Darren January 4, 2010 at 2:56 pm

    Oh, and the best part: Helen BRadley moves out in book 29, shows up for some unknown reason in books 112 and 113, and is never mentioned in book 114! Did Heather Malone murder her that we don’t know about?

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  • Freckles January 4, 2010 at 3:13 pm

    I like how the twins both plan surprise b-day parties for each other on the same night, like that won’t somehow be a problem. I like to imagine them both crouching in the respective darkness of the Beach Disco and a tent(?) waiting for each other to show up, but neither of them ever do even though they are probably 100 yards away from each other on the same beach.

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    I was thinking the same thing. I don’t know, I think if I had an identical twin, we’d probably end up talking at some point about our plans for our birthday.

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    Freckles Reply:

    That’s what I’m saying! I don’t have a twin, but obviously I’d be better at it than those two.

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  • Jannie girl talk January 4, 2010 at 5:46 pm

    I would guess that naked Ken would be considered child porn. I also love that Bruce’s pool cue reads ” 1 bruce 1″

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    Good point. There’s no way it would be allowed.

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    Lauri Reply:

    Maybe Ms. Dalton would allow it in the show anyhow.

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    Ha! I just bet she would.

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  • Lori January 4, 2010 at 7:34 pm

    Is it just me or the background of the twins looks like Luke’s from Gilmore Girls?

    Olivia maybe dead but she still showed up for the reunion in SVU. That’s dedication.

    It must be exciting turning 17 after 20 years.

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    Wow, it totally does look like Luke’s!

    I’ve never read the SVU where Olivia shows up, but I’ve heard about it. Sweet Valley reunions are so important that even dead people don’t want to miss them.

    [Reply]

    Christine Reply:

    Olivia’s unexplained (not that there could be a plausible explanation anyway) resurrection must be the worst of the many examples of poor continuity in these Sweet Valley books. And this happened in the Big Finale of SVH. Pathetic.

    They didn’t kill off *that* many regular good-guy/gal characters in the SV Universe. How hard can it be to keep track? Just keep a little How-They-Died Cheat Sheet (but not a Cheating Death Sheet…unless you can EXPLAIN HOW Olivia did this!) handy. Regina: drugs …Olivia: died for her art/exciting-finale-contrivance … Sam: dared to date Jessica …etc.

    I wish Todd had died instead. And Devon. While visiting Liz to propose marriage. Leaving Elizabeth with so much regret and guilt that she doesn’t have the heart to flirt with royalty and refuse more proposals for at least a week. Then she and Jessica bond over dead boyfriends and scope out hot guys together at the beach. And then…the tsunami hits! Yes! (Why do I keep pitching fanfic ideas I’m too lazy to write?! 😛 Francine Pascal must be my idol and role model…anyone out there wanna be my ghostwriters? ;))

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    Christine, I have no doubt that some unemployed ghostwriter is out there, just waiting for you to come along and give her direction. I would love to read your version of these events.

    [Reply]

    Merrie Reply:

    Didn’t Robbie — Enid’s ex — die in the earthquake, too? If I remember correctly, it was summed up in one paragraph.

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    Yeah, I’ll talk about him for half a second in the next post. I don’t think he’s mentioned in this book.

    [Reply]

    K Reply:

    The SVU where Olivia made an appearance was written before the last SVH ones… so the ghostwriters of those books should have killed off another character.

    [Reply]

  • Lorelai January 4, 2010 at 11:44 pm

    Bruce’s pool cue — proof that I was right all along about Bruce’s awesomeness. And Lila and Todd getting stuck in the bathroom together wasn’t quite what I had in mind when I ‘shipped them in SVK all those years ago…

    [Reply]

    Christine Reply:

    Hey, I don’t know what year this book came out, so maybe it’s a coincidence…but were they ripping off the movie Can’t Hardly Wait? Where Seth Green and Lauren Ambrose (I think that’s her name) get locked in a bathroom together, and squabbling leads to…other things. 🙂

    They seem to have ripped off other movies/tv shows in these later books, so I wouldn’t be surprised. Or maybe there’s some common Locked Bathroom Lovers trope I’m not familiar with. 😛

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    Lila and Todd in the bathroom is really one of the stupidest and most useless plot devices ever.

    [Reply]

    Darren Reply:

    Well, that idea must’ve came from the Jefferson’s TV sitcom where George Jefferson is trapped in his bathroom with the Willises Tom and Helen! That’s the only explanation I have of Lila being trapped with Todd in the bathroom. We didn’t need to have an earthquake though. For the Jefferson’s sequence, I think the lock broke or something to trap the families.

    [Reply]

  • Children of the 90s January 5, 2010 at 10:17 am

    I’d forgotten all about this one. I agree, who considers Olivia one of their favorites? These deaths are mainly pointless, as they only happened to bad guys and people who would eventually show up in a later book because they forgot to be dead.

    And really? Black Maria and White Maria? There are thousands of names out there, but these ghostwriters had to double name characters to make it that much more confusing for us readers. I think it’s a literary device meant to distract us from the ineffectual suspense.

    That “1Bruce1” pool cue saves the book, though. That’s pretty awesome.

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    I hope nobody is offended by my calling them Black Maria and White Maria, but even their last names are so similar that I can’t remember which is Santelli and which is Slater.

    [Reply]

    Darren Reply:

    That’s OK Shannon. Maria Santelli and Maria Slater are kind of similar, except Slater is obviously black. That was funny, Maria breaks up with Winston for he told she slept with a teddy bear? That’s lame, they should’ve used Maria slept with a night light! I remember in Valley Twins, Sarah Thomas the 12 year old still slept with a night light! That’s interesting Black Maria uses hypnosis later on to make Liz remember what happened and who saved whom.

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    LOL, Darren, stop recapping the books before I do!

    [Reply]

    Anonymous Reply:

    Funny – did you remember the Marias said as long as they were not called “Black Maria” and “White Maria,” they would be cool with whatever the group called them to distinguish them? It was in one of those vampire books, when Maria first came to SVH.

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    Oh wow, I did not remember that, at least not consciously!

    [Reply]

  • Karla January 12, 2010 at 7:40 pm

    I love the part where Jess announces “This is going to be one serious party!” Um…you have a string quartet, the Droids, and no booze. How does that work, again?

    [Reply]

  • Bailey November 27, 2010 at 4:10 pm

    Ummm… i thought the jeep went over a cliff

    [Reply]

    Rach Reply:

    yeah, it totally did.

    [Reply]

  • Dane Youssef November 11, 2012 at 3:35 am

    Seriously, how far have Todd and Lila actually gotten? Did they have anything besides a near… ?

    [Reply]

  • Kylie90210 May 22, 2013 at 11:55 pm

    Oh I LOVED this one!

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  • Krista November 3, 2013 at 1:34 pm

    Um, hadn’t Ken and Olivia only been together for about a week or so? Why is she painting his nude likeness?

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  • Nikki July 6, 2014 at 8:48 am

    ” Jessica is borrowing money from Steve to hire a jazz quartet for the beach party.”

    Somehow I can’t imagine Jessica being into jazz.

    “White Maria breaks up with Winston because he blabs that she sleeps with a teddy bear, Ken breaks up with Olivia because she paints a nude portrait of him and insists on entering it in a school art show”

    Now I’m wondering how Winston would know about Maria’s sleeping habits and how Olivia would know what Ken looks like nude. Despite there generally being no mention of sex in these books, now I’m sure these kids were clearly getting it in.

    [Reply]

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