Read part one of this miniseries here. Read part two here.

The Moral of the Story: A week of starving in the woods will help you figure your whole life out.

The Big Deal: Barbecue at Secca Lake

Synopsis:

Liz is super pissed at Todd and Devon. She’s completely overreacting, pacing around and crying just because a couple of punches were thrown. Whatever. You cheated on one with the other and got them fighting over you and now you’re complaining? Bitch, please. Liz decides she needs to do something to prove her independence from guys. Enid tells her about some Project Adventure camping trip and Liz convinces her parents to let her take a week off of school to do it. She’ll be learning to survive in the woods on nothing but a pocket knife and her wits. Sounds awful.

Jessica can’t believe Liz actually wants to do this instead of help her plan the barbecue she’s decided to throw at Secca Lake. Liz doesn’t want to help Jessica because she’s so mad at her, but for some reason she ends up agreeing to write the text for the invitations before she leaves for her stupid camping trip. Meanwhile, both Devon and Todd are totally depressed that Liz won’t speak to them. Todd can’t stop thinking about her and Devon actually considers drowning himself in the ocean. Guys, she ain’t that hot.

Todd takes up mountain biking with that hippie Keith Wagner, and pretty soon he has all the guys doing it. They bail on their dates, lie to their girlfriends and high-five each other while they talk about what a natural high mountain biking is. I’m suddenly wondering if “mountain biking” is code for something else entirely. Todd loves “mountain biking” so much that all his anxieties about Liz start to disappear and he actually brings himself to invite Devon to join the fun. Devon’s much too cool for that and rolls his eyes as he turns Todd down. The guys are all eating at Guido’s one night after a bike trip when someone mentions Liz’s Project Adventure trip. Todd, who thought Liz was just avoiding him, can’t believe she’s out in the woods. He starts to run out the door to “rescue” her, but Aaron talks some sense into him. When Devon finds out what Liz is doing this week, it for some reason depresses him so much that he decides he should just leave town.

Jessica and the other girls are fed up with the boys ditching them every day. They follow them after school one day to the Great Mountain National Reserve and see them all get on their bicycles. By an amazing coincidence, Devon has chosen this day to leave town. He’s packed up his saddlebags and is taking one last ride through town on his motorcycle. He ends up at the Great Mountain National Reserve. Todd sees him and asks again if he wants to join the ride. Bruce has an extra bike, so Devon borrows it and off they go.

Meanwhile, Liz is in the woods on the last evening of her big nature adventure when she sees Todd and Devon fly by on bicycles. She thinks it’s a hallucination because she’s so hungry. Then Jessica, Lila, Amy and white Maria show up and start talking to her. Jessica has to pinch Liz to convince her she’s not having visions. They try to convince her to come with them to the Dairi Burger, but now that Liz has seen Devon and Todd hanging out together, she feels like she can face the night alone. Or something. She goes home the next day feeling all good about herself.

Devon and Todd have agreed they both need to stay away from Liz so she can make up her mind about them. Then both of them decide they need to see her anyway. Before the party on Saturday, Todd goes over to Liz’s and they have a nice chat and agree that no matter what happens, they’ll always be friends. Hooray for them not getting back together! Then Liz freaks out because she forgot to go pick up some deli trays for the party and the deli closes in half an hour. Todd offers to do it and Liz tells him to take the Jeep and she’ll drive his car to the party. Todd and Devon meet in the driveway and yell at each other for a few minutes. Devon starts getting all emo again as he knocks on the door. Liz lets him in, but the phone rings immediately. It’s Jessica, telling Liz the brakes are out on the Jeep and she should take Alice’s station wagon.

Liz freaks out and tells Devon that Todd is in her death trap of a car and she needs to go save him. She starts to get into the station wagon, but Devon convinces her his motorcycle will be faster. Liz agrees. I don’t get it. When you find Todd, where are you going to put him? Furthermore, weren’t you in a motorcycle crash a while back? Whatever. They catch up to Todd just in time to see him crash the Jeep through a guard rail. Now the Jeep is perched precariously on the edge of a cliff. How many times can this really happen to one person?

Devon pulls Todd out of the Jeep just before it goes over the side of the cliff. Bye-bye Jeep. Todd is unconscious, and a nice lady passing by calls an ambulance. Everyone rushes to the hospital. Jessica and her friends go back to the party as soon as they find out Todd’s going to live, but Liz and Devon stay. The nurse says Liz can go in, and she’s so happy he’s not going to die that she almost goes in there and tells him he’s the one she wants to be with. Then, thank goodness, she stops and thinks. She realizes she wants to try being single for a while.

I think Liz and Todd have really broken up this time! Hooray!

Quotes:

Jessica crossed her arms behind her head and sank deeper into the couch. You’re awesome, Jess, she told herself, simply amazing.

Jessica tells herself this after she comes up with the incredible idea of throwing a party. I’m not sure if that actually qualifies her as amazing.

“What?” he yelled. “That’s out in the middle of nowhere! She won’t be able to handle it!” He pulled some money out of his pocket and threw it on the table.

“Where are you going?” Bruce demanded.

“To rescue Liz,” Todd shot back, starting for the door.

What a drama queen.

Once the bikes were off the cars, Todd and his group started walking them toward the mountains. Devon hesitated a moment, but he was really curious to see what they were up to.

Um, I think they’re gonna ride bikes.

The Cover: This never happens! Which guy is that supposed to be, anyway?