Sweet Valley High #128: Kiss of a Killer

SVH128Read part one of this miniseries here. Read part two here.

The Moral of the Story: Um…vampires are real? That’s all I got.

The Big Deal: Just the end of Jonathan’s party

Synopsis:

So, yeah, Katrina’s pretty dead. The cops show up and question everyone. Enid stays after everyone else has gone and cleans the house, thinking that will make Jonathan love her again. She finally goes home, and then Jessica shows up. She and Jonathan make out and Jessica has some kind of vision of them flying or something. She wakes up the next morning having no idea how she got home. When she goes down to breakfast, she’s appalled when her parents ground the twins for going to Jonathan’s party. They disapprove of Jonathan throwing the party in the first place since there’s a curfew in effect. They say the twins are to have nothing to do with him, but Jessica freaks out and convinces them to have Jonathan over for Sunday dinner.

Jonathan manages to charm the socks of the twins’ parents. Liz is disappointed; she was hoping they would hate him on sight. Speaking of Liz, she’s still stringing Joey along. Todd drove her home from Jonathan’s party and was about to tell her how much he missed her when he saw Joey’s car in the Wakefields’ driveway. Liz can hardly stand Joey, so I’m not sure why she’s even still hanging out with him. Who even cares?

Katrina Sutton’s funeral is the next day. Liz and Todd find themselves holding hands. Aww. After the service, Enid sits at Katrina’s grave and spills all her troubles to the dead girl. Then “someone” attacks her. These books are written in such a way that I’m pretty sure we’re not supposed to know Jonathan is the killer, but they totally fail at being tricky and suspenseful. Anyway, after Enid is attacked, Jonathan takes her to the hospital. I don’t really get what’s supposed to be wrong with her, but she’s in critical condition for the next week.

Enid’s attack, combined with the recent murders, has got the Sweet Valley gang in an uproar. They turn into vigilantes at lunch one day, shouting about how the murderer needs to be found and the police need to learn to do their jobs. They all start chanting, “Kill the killer! Kill the killer!” It’s a little weird.

Liz is at the hospital when Enid wakes up for a second, mumbles Jonathan’s name and then passes out again. For some reason, even though she knows Enid has been in love with Jonathan since he showed up, Liz thinks this means that Jonathan is the one that attacked her. The worst part is that she’s right, dammit. Liz can’t get anyone to believe her, but she does somehow get black Maria to go with her to search Jonathan’s house. She finds some books about vampires and takes them home. After reading them, she’s positive Jonathan is a vampire. She puts the book down when she hears something outside. She goes out the front door just in time to see Jonathan and Jessica riding away on Jonathan’s motorcycle. It’s way after midnight and Liz doesn’t know what to do. She calls Joey, who pretty much laughs at her and tells her to stop worrying. Liz doesn’t like that, so she calls Todd, who validates her fears and tells her to wake her parents. That’s what she does. Alice calls the police.

Jonathan takes Jessica to a cave on the beach. He starts to tell her his life story, but they’re interrupted when the police show up. They lecture Jessica and Jonathan for a while about how dangerous it is for them to be out so late, especially in this area, as the cave is quite possibly the killer’s lair. *facepalm* Ned and Alice ground Jessica indefinitely and tell her Jonathan Cain is off limits forever.

On Saturday night, Bruce has a meeting at his house to discuss what the kids are going to do about the murderer. Liz comes by to tell everyone she suspects Jonathan is a vampire. They believe her. Seriously. They work themselves into a frenzy and start chanting, “Kill the killer!” again. Liz gets a phone call from Enid’s mother, who tells her Enid finally woke up and said Jonathan was the one who saved her and brought her to the hospital. Now Liz is all confused. When she hangs up the phone, she finds everyone has left, including black Maria, her ride. She calls Joey and tells him she needs him to help her out. He’s pissed because she stood him up that night, so he tells her to fuck off. A round of applause for Joey, everyone. Todd didn’t leave with everyone else and is eavesdropping on Liz’s conversation. He’s more than happy to offer his assistance and Liz is more than happy to boss him around.

Todd and Liz find Jonathan’s cave. When they go inside, they find Jessica and Jonathan sitting around with weird, blank expressions on their faces. The angry mob is right behind them, and Todd tells Jonathan to get out while he can. Jonathan runs down the beach and disappears. A minute later, a big black bird swoops down over Jessica and then flies away before the angry mob of teenagers gets there, all disappointed that there’s no bad guy for them to kill.

Just so we’re clear, this isn’t like the crazy guy who thought he was a werewolf. Jonathan is actually a vampire.

Quotes:

Some party! Enid raged to herself. Katrina Sutton dropped dead, and Jessica stole Jonathan away from me. The night was a total bust.

Enid’s really gone off the deep end.

Elizabeth sat down on a lawn chair and closed her eyes. “It’s just that…I’m grounded.” Her face grew hot with embarrassment.

“Grounded!” Joey shrieked. “That’s so…high school!”

Joey’s kind of a douche. Except…

“Let me get this straight, Elizabeth. You and I supposedly had a date today, but you stood me up. Now you expect me to come running to Sweet Valley because you’re worried about your sister?”

…“This isn’t the time for games, Joey. I’m begging. Either you come and help me now, or it’s over between us.”

“OK,” he said. “If that’s the way you want it, then I guess it’s over.”

Dammit, the one guy who seems to be able to stand up to St. Liz is taking off.

The Cover: Well, that’s dramatic. I love the angry mob with their flashlights and implements of destruction.

Tags: , , ,

Comments
  • Children of the 90s November 20, 2009 at 11:35 am

    My indifference toward Enid is really verging toward hatred. She’s just a ridiculous character.

    You’re totally right about the SVH books being terrible and maintaining suspense. I mean, they introduce a new character solely for the purpose of he or she being the culprit of whatever havoc is inevitably wreaked on Sweet Valley. The vampire/werewolf/serial killer/crazed spa director is not going to end up being Todd or Lila, it’s going to be the guy who will die/conveniently fade away into the background at the end of the book.

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    Exactly. But they still try to maintain this illusion of “suspense.” It’s very sad, really.

    Enid is totally ridiculous. She just gets worse and worse as the series goes on.

    [Reply]

  • Merrie November 20, 2009 at 11:52 am

    Is this is the end of this miniseries? I don’t know if I want the answer to be yes because this sucks or no because it doesn’t really seem to be over. Maybe that’s the point. The end. Or is it???

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    It is indeed the end of the miniseries. Pretty lame, I know.

    [Reply]

    Sandy Reply:

    What?!?! They totally could have mad 2 new guys. 1 good and 1 bad. Also, Enid had sex???

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    I don’t know. It’s like their point in writing this book was to see how vague they could be. It was really bad.

    [Reply]

    Sandy Reply:

    But you missed the important question. Enid had relations????

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    I don’t know! It was all too vague!

    [Reply]

    Sandy Reply:

    Well goodness, you had me thinking virginity was lost in Sweet Valley! It has now been found again.

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    Ha ha, I don’t even know what I said that made you think that? Is it that she got attacked? Because honestly, I don’t even know what they mean by that. What kind of attack? I have no idea.

    [Reply]

    Sandy Reply:

    Oh, wait, I misread your second sentence as “Jonathon will make love to her again.”

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    Oh! Well, then I understand your confusion!

    [Reply]

  • DarfurHerald November 20, 2009 at 3:28 pm

    How does Liz come to the conclusion that Jonathan is a vampire? Does he sparkle?

    Sorry. had to slip that in.

    [Reply]

    Karla Reply:

    LMAO!

    [Reply]

  • Lori November 20, 2009 at 8:10 pm

    Ah Enid would you rather trade places with Katrina? I’m sure the party sucked even worse for her.

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    Seriously. She’s such a brat in this book.

    [Reply]

  • Lauri November 20, 2009 at 8:36 pm

    Was this the mini-series where Liz finds some old article that alludes to Jonathan being 16 in 1965 or something like that where he hasn’t aged, or is that another mini-series?

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    That doesn’t sound familiar to me. Maybe that’s another series? All she finds here are the books about vampires at Jonathan’s house.

    [Reply]

  • megan s. November 21, 2009 at 1:39 am

    why does Jonathan have books about vampires around? I didn’t know they had to research them selves!
    also, Liz had to call and ASK someone if she should wake her parents when Jess left? How lame is she?

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    Yeah, that’s what I was wondering. Like, every once in a while he has to look something up about himself. “I can’t remember, is it a silver bullet or a stake through the heart that can kill me?”

    [Reply]

  • Lorelai November 22, 2009 at 12:46 am

    Think about this for a second: Bruce Patman actually organises a vampire-killing mob. He is, quite literally, the most awesome person ever to (not really) live.

    [Reply]

  • VLB September 25, 2010 at 5:11 pm

    The end of this book really bugged me! There were so many unanwsered questions…

    [Reply]

  • Hina December 18, 2010 at 7:07 am

    WOOT! He looks like one of The Lost Boys! YERRRRRR! Hina = happy because the Lost Boys were 10x better vamps then Twicrap.

    [Reply]

  • Melissa July 10, 2011 at 10:59 pm

    Jonathan’s ring was obviously based on the ring Barnabas Collins wore in Dark Shadows, it was Onyx, but it also seems a bit like Vampire Diaries, interesting.

    [Reply]

  • Bec January 23, 2012 at 2:34 am

    What’s up with Jonathon’s look on the cover? Homeboy’s pretty tan for a vampire.

    [Reply]

  • bia_lee August 5, 2012 at 6:04 pm

    Just take jessica with you, jonathan you two could be blissed out and happy

    [Reply]

  • Dane Youssef September 10, 2013 at 11:31 pm

    Elizabeth sat down on a lawn chair and closed her eyes. “It’s just that…I’m grounded.” Her face grew hot with embarrassment.

    “Grounded!” Joey shrieked. “That’s so…high school!”

    I like Joey. The sonovabitch knows what he’s talking about. He’s a straight-shooter. You normally don’t find those in this series.

    “She calls Joey and tells him she needs him to help her out. He’s pissed because she stood him up that night, so he tells her to fuck off. A round of applause for Joey, everyone.”–Shannon

    A round of applause. How about a standing ovation? Let’s send this man to congress… immediately!

    “Let me get this straight, Elizabeth. You and I supposedly had a date today, but you stood me up. Now you expect me to come running to Sweet Valley because you’re worried about your sister?”

    …“This isn’t the time for games, Joey. I’m begging. Either you come and help me now, or it’s over between us.”

    “OK,” he said. “If that’s the way you want it, then I guess it’s over.”

    Dammit, the one guy who seems to be able to stand up to St. Liz is taking off.

    Damn it, I love this man. If he really did exist… (of course, he’s too good to be true), I’d be buying him a round of beers all night.

    Don’t you just want to salute this sonovabitch like he was President of the United States?

    Well no, that’s not fair. Now, Joey–you’d actually GIVE HIM your respect.

    I’d vote for him.

    –Finding Himself A New Personal Hero, Dane Youssef

    [Reply]

  • Krista November 3, 2013 at 11:54 am

    “They disapprove of Jonathan throwing the party in the first place since there’s a curfew in effect.”

    Nothing about how they are the worst parents ever for not trying to enforce the curfew and actually knowing where their children are while there is a murderer running about.

    “The worst part is that she’s right, dammit.”

    I feel you.

    [Reply]

  • Kim December 5, 2015 at 6:03 am

    Interesting cover. First I thought he had a cross on his neck which is odd for a vampire. Then I clicked the photo for a closer look and it looks like an Egyptian ankh. Why would he be wearing an Egyptian ankh? #Weird

    [Reply]

  • Natasha February 19, 2017 at 2:12 am

    Shannon if you think Enid becomes even more ridiculous as the series progresses then you’re just going to love her in SVU. Not. She’s even worse in SVU.

    [Reply]

  • Arthur Castle September 1, 2017 at 9:42 am

    This book is so stupid. AW and NW ground the twins, but they are still allowed to have friends visit? What the actual F*!!!!

    [Reply]

  • Post a comment

    Threaded commenting powered by interconnect/it code.