Sweet Valley High #118: College Weekend

SVH118Read part one of this miniseries here.

The Moral of the Story: All males who go to college are sexy.

The Big Deal: Party at Steve’s

Synopsis:

Well, the twins are off to their College Adventure. For some reason, Ned and Alice thought it would be totally okay to pull the twins out of school for a week and send them to stay with Steve and his girlfriend, Billie, at Sweet Valley University. As expected, Liz is all about preparing for her college future while Jessica just wants to party. On the way to Steve’s apartment, Jessica decides she’s going to throw a big bash that night. She invites a bunch of guys at a minimart and tells them to bring their friends. Steve and Billie are going out of town for the night. Billie forgot when the twins were coming and she booked a night at a bed and breakfast for her and Steve. Jessica thinks that’s great because now she doesn’t have to tell Steve about her party.

The twins go exploring the campus. Liz joins some people who are sitting around discussing Ralph Ellison’s Invisible Man (because that’s what brainy college students do) and Jessica meets some sorority girls who are doing their nails and talking about boys (because that’s what sorority girls do). Jessica invites everyone she meets to the party and can’t believe Liz isn’t doing the same.

The party is a disaster or a success, depending on which twin you ask. It gets out of hand and someone brings in a keg, and then the police show up and make everyone leave. On the upside, the twins meet a couple of guys. Jessica tells her guy, Zach Marsden, that she’s a transfer student from Princeton and that Liz is actually her younger sister. She does not mention Ken. Liz meets Ian and actually tells him the truth about Todd and high school and all that jazz.

Jessica starts going out with Zach every night and going to some of his classes with him. She also spends a lot of time pre-rushing Theta Alpha Theta, the sorority Jessica’s new friends belong to and also Alice’s old sorority. One of the girls, Magda, tells Jessica she really likes a guy named Zach Marsden and intends to get him. So now Jessica is torn. She doesn’t want Magda to find out about her and Zach, but she doesn’t want to stop seeing him. Oh, how difficult it must be to have Jessica Wakefield’s life. She decides to do nothing, and the next time she goes out with Zach, Magda walks into the restaurant. Jessica is sure this means she’ll be blackballed from the sorority. Oh, dear.

Liz is all excited to go with Ian to his journalism class because the professor is Felicia Newkirk, “the first woman to break into the male-dominated White House press corps.” This woman is like Liz’s hero, so it’s really upsetting when she gets into an argument with her during the class. I’m not sure why, something about Liz being interested in television journalism and Felicia accusing her of being just a pretty face. Whatever. Felicia gets bored with Liz and moves on. She announces an essay contest and Liz vows to win it and prove herself to Felicia. She stays up all night writing some obnoxious thing about binge drinking on college campuses. She feels like she has firsthand knowledge on the subject since she just threw a kegger a couple nights ago.

OF COURSE she wins the contest. The prize is having Felicia edit the essay for publication in a national magazine, and also an internship with the university’s “nationally distributed newspaper.” Why does the whole nation need to know what’s happening at Sweet Valley University? Anyway, Felicia suggests that Liz take her high school equivalency test and get to work at SVU. Liz decides that’s what she’s going to do. Right.

Quotes:

“Jake!” another male voice called out. “Are you bothering this fine specimen of womanhood?”

Jessica turned, thrilled to see a second gorgeous guy with mocha-brown skin and a flattop approaching the Jeep.

“Lay off, Phil. I spotted her first!” Jake said, putting an arm around Jessica’s shoulders.

Jessica is hot enough to make complete strangers argue over her.

Being popular was the last thing Jessica Wakefield would ever have to worry about.

Oh, and she’s popular, too.

Steven and Billie had decided to do the unthinkable – forgo their afternoon classes to spend a romantic afternoon in their apartment.

How scandalous. Don’t hurt yourself over there on the wild side, guys.

Why didn’t I think of that before? Elizabeth admonished herself. I have firsthand knowledge of one of the most important issues facing college students today: alcohol.

Liz, freaking out because a couple guys brought a keg to your brother’s apartment hardly qualifies as firsthand knowledge about alcohol.

The Cover: There is something really wrong with blond guy who must be Zach. His shoulder area is all messed up. Ian looks like an even nerdier version of Winston Egbert, if that’s even possible. Jessica looks cute, but Liz looks like crap.

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Comments
  • Megan October 29, 2009 at 12:12 pm

    The number of times I skipped class to “spend romantic afternoons”…wait. Never mind. I never did that. Never.

    And did a *black guy* just hit on Jessica? The scandal!

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    I know! But it’s hard to say. The GWs never just come out and say someone’s black. They always have “mocha” or “ebony” skin.

    [Reply]

  • Lori October 29, 2009 at 1:58 pm

    What? Alcohol is a problem at college? Who would have thought. Good thing Liz went to college or else we’d never know

    It must be nice to be as hot as Jessica.

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    I think it would get old to be as hot as Jessica. “Ugh, ANOTHER stranger put his arm around me today.”

    [Reply]

    Lauri Reply:

    Liz knows about alcohol from the kegger, not because she drove drunk and killed her sister’s boyfriend or something like that.

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    Yeah. Oddly, she doesn’t even think about that little incident.

    [Reply]

    Lori Reply:

    She has selective memory when it comes to her own affairs and body count

    [Reply]

  • DarfurHerald October 29, 2009 at 3:21 pm

    Kids drinking at college? OMG! How shocking, better stop it! I mean, really. I can understand being annoyed or disgusted, but really, getting so p*ssed over and shocked that you actually write an article about it and are shocked when one keg is brought to your skanky sister’s party?

    I wonder what Liz would think of other college activities. My sister go a lesbian love letter once from a stranger…I wonder how Liz would react to that…

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    I think she’d read it and, without knowing why, think of Enid.

    [Reply]

  • HelenB October 29, 2009 at 3:29 pm

    I blame Liz Wakefield for making me think that college kids actually sat around having intelligent discussions. Boy was I disappointed when I got to university!

    Ugh, I hate how uptight these kids are about drinking, too. God forbid someone actually enjoy themselves once in a while!

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    Liz is very Rory Gilmore. I keep thinking about how she stumbled into a classroom and joined in the discussion.

    [Reply]

    HelenB Reply:

    Actually, I think they did the same thing with Lisa in the Simpsons, although obviously an 8 year old girl joining in the discussion is meant to be completely ridiculous!

    [Reply]

    Karla Reply:

    I have vague memories of what could sorta kinda pass for intelligent discussions if you squint hard enough through beer goggles and aviator sunglasses, but we were totally posing and we knew it.

    [Reply]

  • Lorelai October 29, 2009 at 9:07 pm

    Heh, alcohol’s not a problem at my college — the legal drinking age here in Aus eighteen. They give out beer in the quad on during orientation, and the on-campus bar is just plain convenient 🙂

    It really annoys me that Liz wins that competition…especially since I remember the essay she wrote to be particularly shitty. Grammatically incorrect. As a second-year journalism student, I know for a fact that some of my more brutal lecturers would’ve taken pleasure in shoving her know-it-allism back in her face.

    But again, Sweet Valley is located exactly thirty miles from anywhere resembling real life. I should know better than to try and rationalise it.

    Sorry for the long comment 🙂

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    I’m quite certain that most of the things Liz is praised for in these books would get her a big wallop of nothing in real life. All those Oracle articles that get picked up by the Sweet Valley News? Yeah, right.

    [Reply]

  • Lindsay October 29, 2009 at 9:28 pm

    I didn’t realize I was such a rebel for forgoing my afternoon classes all the time in college! I just thought I was lazy.

    These people are so ridiculously lame.

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    See, you’ve been living on the edge this whole time and just didn’t know it!

    [Reply]

  • Sandy October 30, 2009 at 9:52 am

    I just kept wondering if Steve and Billie would actually have sex.
    Probably not.

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    They slept in separate beds when they were at their bed and breakfast, so I’m going to guess not. Which is stupid. Why go to a romantic bed and breakfast and sleep separately?

    [Reply]

    Lindsay Reply:

    Wait! They slept in separate beds?! Jesus on a Moped these are college students! They make me pity them almost

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    “Almost” being the key word. If they’re too stupid to figure out how to use it, then I’ve got no sympathy.

    [Reply]

  • Kylie90210 May 12, 2013 at 11:05 pm

    I did enjoy the tie ins to SVU I must admit!

    [Reply]

  • Alex Kennedy February 24, 2017 at 8:39 am

    Steve and his girlfriend often behave like prudes.

    [Reply]

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