Sweet Valley High Super Thriller #10: A Killer on Board

ST08-OuterRead part one of this miniseries here.

The Moral of the Story: If you hire women as prison guards, they’ll fall in love with the inmates and all hell will break loose.

Synopsis:

This book could have been at least seventy-five pages shorter than it was. Not very much happens and fully half the damn thing takes place on horseback. There’s so much filler and pointless dialogue; I think the ghostwriter was just trying to up the word count.

John Marin is back in jail, but the Wakefields are all jumpy and freaked out. Ned arranges for everyone (except poor Steve) to take a trip to Catalina Island. Their first day there, the twins decide to go horseback riding. Unbeknownst to them, John Marin has escaped from prison with the help of a female guard who has fallen in love with him (don’t even get me started on that). Marin makes his way to Catalina Island because he’s so charming and handsome that people just can’t seem to help breaking rules for him. He finds out where the twins are and bribes a stable hand to give him a horse.

The twins, of course, leave the safety of their guided ride because it’s boring. They promptly get lost in the woods and end up on a nearly impassable rocky trail. Marin finds them and chases them for a while. Jessica’s horse balks and refuses to go anymore, so Jessica jumps on Liz’s horse, and then Liz jumps them off a thirty-foot cliff to get away from Marin. Naturally, everyone is perfectly fine after this stunt.

Ned freaks out when he realizes Marin is on the island so he also bribes the stable hand. He sets off on his horse and finds the girls. It’s about this time that Alice also freaks out and decides she’s going to join the search. Luckily, Ned and the twins arrive back at the stable before she can take yet another horse out. Ned decides they should all get off the island, so Joe the stable hand takes them to his fiancé’s mother’s house because she rents houseboats to tourists. The Wakefields set out for the mainland.

Marin somehow figures out where the Wakefields got a boat, knocks Joe’s future mother-in-law over the head and steals a small motorboat from her. When he catches up to the Wakefields’ houseboat, he cuts the motor and somehow makes it look like he’s in trouble. Ned sees the motorboat barely staying afloat in the inevitable storm that’s now raging and decides he has to help whoever’s out there. He takes a small dinghy from the houseboat to the motorboat, and when he gets there, Marin sneaks around him and steals the dinghy. Ned realizes he’s been had when he sees the motorboat has a broken radio and is filling with water.

On the houseboat, Marin threatens the womenfolk and ties them up. He splashes gasoline everywhere and starts lighting matches. He’s about to toss one onto Jessica when Ned suddenly bursts onto the scene and knocks him out. Ned gets Alice and the girls to the dinghy, then goes back for Marin because he’s too wholesome and good to just let the bastard die. It doesn’t matter though. Marin is already dead when Ned gets to him. Ned jumps into the water and swims to the dinghy. The Wakefields are finally safe.

Quotes:

“Liz, you have nothing to apologize for,” Todd said. “I was the jerk – for not realizing how bored you were.”

Yes, Todd. It’s your fault Liz cheated on you. Just keep telling her that to ensure that she keeps doing it. Idiot.

[Alice] folded the skimpy dress into Jessica’s light-blue suitcase…She shook her head at the thought of her own daughter wearing such a thing. But she never would have dreamed of forbidding her. In eighteen years of motherhood, Mrs. Wakefield had learned to choose her battles…Some parents flew off the handle over clothes and haircuts. But such trappings were trivial.

You don’t have to fly off the handle in order to tell your daughter not to dress like a skank.

The Cover: I think the twins are making a porno while a Sam Winchester lookalike waves his knife around. Maybe he thinks they’re demons.

ST08-Inner

Sam Winchester

Sam Winchester

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Comments
  • Sandy October 27, 2009 at 12:27 pm

    Yeah, Liz’s hand is totally on Jessica’s boob in that shot. Short recap, but it was to the point. Sorry the novel wasn’t. 🙁

    So horses and boats. They are running out of ideas. I’m wondering if a helicopter is in a future story.

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    Yep, horses and boats. A helicopter can only improve things at this point.

    [Reply]

  • Fear Street October 27, 2009 at 12:59 pm

    So. Painful. *drool*

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    If you’re drooling because the stupidity of this book has left you numb and incoherent, I’m with you.

    If you’re drooling over Sam Winchester, I’m with you there, too.

    [Reply]

  • Merrie October 27, 2009 at 2:10 pm

    Wow. The series jumped a whole reef of sharks.

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    It really did, lol.

    [Reply]

  • Sadako October 27, 2009 at 2:54 pm

    God, it really does look like a porno. I bet a lot of girls realized something about themselves when they first read this.

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    Ha, I bet!

    [Reply]

  • JoJo Jonboy October 27, 2009 at 3:33 pm

    Hi,.
    I saw the thread on fearstreet1.blogspot.com
    Very well presented
    In fact I have been looking for this for yonks
    fearstreet1.blogspot.com is just what I was looking for.
    Great effort congrats !
    John
    los angeles used car sales

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    I usually delete spam like this before you guys ever see it, but something about this one made me giggle so I’m leaving it. I edited out his “used car sales” link

    [Reply]

    Sadako Reply:

    I love that the spammer wrote that “fearstreet1.blogspot.com” is what he’s looking for…not, y’know, the name of the blog that he actually is posting on. Heh.

    [Reply]

  • megan s. October 27, 2009 at 3:37 pm

    Oooooo Sam. I always call him Dean though, even though the other guys name is Dean. They should have reversed that haha.

    I didn’t like this miniseries since nothing happend.

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    Me too! Even though Gilmore Girls hasn’t been on in years, I still find myself calling him Dean.

    [Reply]

    megan s. Reply:

    yay glad i’m not the only one! lol.

    [Reply]

  • Darren October 27, 2009 at 11:44 pm

    That’s nothing about Sam WInchester, Dean, the actor, played a jerk on Smallville and died when a meteor caved in the Kent’s farm. Somehow, poor Dean and Sam can’t get a break, they’re better off chasing ghosts instead of trying to kill people.

    Why and how are JEssica and Elizabeth stuck wearing skimpy outfits like that? There’s no boyfriend around!

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    I don’t watch Smallville.

    You know Jessica can’t help but dress like that! I don’t think she owns any other kind of clothes.

    [Reply]

  • Lindsay October 28, 2009 at 1:39 am

    So. Horrible. SO very. Horrible. These books are just getting outrageous.

    Alice Wakefield- Mother of the Year, oh yes.

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    Isn’t she just the best mother?

    The books are getting worse and worse. And they were already pretty bad.

    [Reply]

  • Lorelai October 28, 2009 at 2:00 am

    “In eighteen years of motherhood, Mrs. Wakefield had learned to choose her battles.”

    This made me laugh for a disproportionately long time. Alice Wakefield choosing her battles is like a five-year-old choosing which ice-cream flavour they want today. It just doesn’t get done.

    Todd’s been hanging around Elizabeth “Doormat” Wakefield way too long if he decides that her being bored with their relationship gives her an excuse to cheat on him with a serial killer.

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    Ha ha, I know what you mean. Alice is the most wishy-washy mother I’ve ever seen. And Todd is a doofus.

    [Reply]

    Sandy Reply:

    Also she’s been a parent longer than that with Steven. But who cares about Steven anyway? We know Alice doesn’t.

    [Reply]

  • Darren October 28, 2009 at 3:19 am

    It’s great to see how much the girls cared for each other to wear skimpy clothes and touching each other…they should’ve done that around Margo! maybe margo would’ve put the knife down and given up…well, never know! Ned has quite an interesting family!

    [Reply]

  • Lori October 28, 2009 at 3:46 pm

    Oh, Alice quit pretending your a good mother.

    I give up on Todd if he’s that dumb to apologize every time his girlfriend cheats on him then gets what he deserves

    [Reply]

    Sacha Reply:

    I agree. I used to like Todd at the very beginning of the series but, he just gets more stupid as it goes along.

    [Reply]

  • Hina December 18, 2010 at 6:43 am

    WOOOOOOTTT!!!!! This is bad that I’m likeing this Sam Winchester look-like because since I’m a Criminal Minds fan also, I tend to fall for the serial killers/crims. But Sam Winchester!!!! ? -drool-

    [Reply]

  • maryse November 27, 2011 at 2:55 pm

    That is a gorgeous pic of Jared!!!

    [Reply]

  • Kristen March 4, 2012 at 5:41 pm

    LOVED the Sam Winchester reference!

    [Reply]

  • Lila Flowers January 2, 2013 at 7:11 pm

    wow. This series really jumped the shark once they got past the Margo books, huh? None the less, I’m severly addicted to your recaps. Thanks for plowing through these awful books so I dont have to.

    [Reply]

  • Krista November 3, 2013 at 9:58 am

    Haha, the main thing I remember about this book was the description of the female prison guard: petite, pretty, and unassertive. In what world would she have gotten that job? I remember feeling sorry for her, because she was dumb too.

    [Reply]

  • melissia November 18, 2013 at 11:48 pm

    Did anybody else notice they totally ripped off the movie cape fear?

    [Reply]

  • Dane Youssef October 8, 2015 at 7:46 pm

    “Wow. The series jumped a whole reef of sharks.” –Merrie

    Jumped? JUMPED?!?!? This thing was shark bait a long time ago… Before the series went into double-digits…

    –Deadly Seriously Sincere, Dane Youssef

    [Reply]

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