Sweet Valley High #111: A Deadly Christmas
The Moral of the Story: If he’ll cheat on you, he’ll also steal your money.
The Big Deal: There’s a Mistletoe Madness dance (because it’s Christmas now) but nobody goes.
So, Jessica doesn’t tell anyone that she just saw Jeremy on the video of the ransom dropoff, and after a few minutes she manages to convince herself it couldn’t possibly have been him anyway. When Jeremy finally shows up around midnight, Jessica gives him a big kiss and they go off to make out somewhere. Later, Liz goes downstairs and finds Jeremy in the kitchen. He asks her why she doesn’t like him and they end up having an argument because the guy is a total jackass.
The next night, Jeremy and Jessica are making out. Jeremy says he doesn’t think he can wait until they’re married to “belong to each other, body and soul.” He says they’ll “go all the way” Friday night, and he’ll scout around for a romantic place for the occasion. While Jessica lays awake that night wondering if she’s ready for that, Jeremy makes out with Sue. She tells him the inheritance money will be in her bank account in ten days. Jeremy figures he can hack into the bank’s computers or something and get his hands on the money, and then he can disappear for good. In the mean time, I guess he’s going to have fun trying to get Jessica to sleep with him.
When Sue overhears a conversation and finds out what Jeremy and Jessica are planning, she realizes Jeremy is doing more than just keeping up appearances with Jessica. She goes to Jessica one night and tells her the truth about everything, including the kidnapping. Jessica is really pissed off at Sue and wants to believe she’s lying, but in the end she cancels her date with Jeremy and tells Liz everything Sue told her. The twins decide to tell detective Sam Diamond the whole story. They can’t get Sam on the phone and don’t want to ask Ned for her home number (because then they’d have to tell him what they know), so they actually for once in their lives decide to go to the police. And you know what happens? The bitch lady cop tells them to stop wasting her time and get the fuck out. And this is how it comes to pass that the Super Twins have to bring Jeremy to justice themselves.
Sue goes to Jeremy’s room at the boardinghouse and for some reason Jeremy decides it’s time to take a shower. While he’s in there, Sue starts kind of going through his stuff. She finds a plane ticket for a flight to Hawaii the following Saturday, which is the same day Jeremy and Sue were supposed to fly to New York together. Then she finds a newspaper clipping. It’s a wedding announcement. It’s a few years old and the groom’s name is Matt Thorn, but it’s clearly a picture of Jeremy. I guess he just carries this proof of his secret identities around with him everywhere? Sue goes home and tells the twins she needs their help taking Jeremy down.
You guys, I can’t tell you how sick I am of Jeremy and Sue. I’m going to finish this book if it kills me.
The Oracle office now has the internet, but it’s just hooked up to some kind of newspaper database. Sue and the twins go up to the school and do a search for Matt Thorn. The only thing that comes up is the wedding announcement. Because I’m sure there’s only ever been one newspaper article about someone named Matt Thorn. They call the woman in the wedding announcement and find out “Matt” stole all her money and disappeared. Liz tells Jessica and Sue that they have to keep up the charade that they both still love Jeremy. I don’t know why they don’t just go to the police now that they have Sue to actually give testimony, but whatever.
Sue’s money is not in her account on the day it’s supposed to be deposited, so she’s sure Jeremy has already stolen it. She and the twins come up with an awesome plan. On Friday, Jessica calls Jeremy and tells him she knows everything but wants to be with him anyway. He tells her he’ll pick her up at eight and they’ll go to the cabin. The twins call Sam Diamond and tell her their plan. Sam shows up in time to wire Jessica and get everyone into her car. They all follow Jeremy and Jessica to the cabin. Oh, and it’s raining. You know, like it does whenever something really momentous is about to happen.
By the time Jeremy and Jessica get to the cabin, the rain has turned to snow. I didn’t realize the cabin was that far away. Sam, Liz, Sue and Todd get lost and then crash Sam’s car, so they’re no longer on Jeremy’s trail. Useless people. At the cabin, Jessica gets Jeremy to confess to all his crimes. He leaves the room for a minute, and when he comes back he catches Jessica trying to use the phone. He assumes she’s going to turn him in, so they have a little scuffle that results in the Christmas tree being knocked into the fireplace and the whole place going up in flames while Jessica lies unconscious on the floor. The funniest part of this is that this apparently abandoned cabin is all decorated for Christmas. Liz and the others finally show up and save Jessica, but Jeremy manages to get away. Not to worry, though. The cops find him and he confesses. I hope we’re done with Sue and Jeremy now.
While all this has been going on, there’s also been a subplot involving Lila and her artist boyfriend. Robby has an art show coming up but hasn’t done any paintings for it yet. Lila is worried so she does a bunch of horrible paintings and hangs them up at the gallery. When Robby shows up with his real paintings, he gets mad but realizes Lila was just being Lila.
Also, Ken Matthews has recently broken up with Terri Adams and has lately been showing a lot of interest in Jessica.
Elizabeth slapped her textbook shut. “Sorry, but I just can’t seem to stop thinking about Sue and Jeremy and the kidnapping.”
Argh, you don’t have to solve every mystery in Sweet Valley.
Jogging over to the house next door, she leaned hard on the bell. Mrs. Beckwith answered the door.
I seem to remember the Beckwiths moving away and the Whitman/Thomas family moving in.
The Cover: Looking at Jeremy running away makes me crack up every time. He looks like he’s doing some kind of traveling version of the Elaine dance. And what the hell is Jessica wearing?