Sweet Valley High #110: Death Threat

SVH110Read the rest of this miniseries: Part one, part two, part three.

The Moral of the Story: Sweet Valley is a town full of morons.

The Big Deal: Another celebratory post-kidnapping party

Synopsis:

When Jeremy shows up at the Wakefields’ house and says Sue has disappeared, Liz is the only one who seems to think they should go look for her. Jeremy gives Jessica some lame excuse about why he was making out with Sue (“She threw herself at me! Honest!”), so Jessica is all ready to forgive him and leave Sue to her fate. Liz convinces them they need to go back to the cabin to try to find her.

When they get to the cabin where the party took place, Jeremy sends Liz and Jessica into the woods. Then he goes up to the attic of the cabin where Sue is waiting for him and tells her to just hold on for a few more hours and the inheritance is theirs. Then he rips off her necklace and goes outside. When the twins come back, he tells them he found the necklace in the woods.

Jeremy goes to the Wakefields’ house the next morning to tell Ned and Alice that Sue has disappeared. He stalls them until the phone rings. Ned puts it on speaker, and they all hear a voice demand half a million dollars (which is the same amount Sue is supposed to inherit) in exchange for Sue’s return, and then it says Sue will die if anyone calls the police. Jessica thinks the voice is familiar, and it’s clear to us that it’s a message Jeremy recorded. Ned wants to call the police regardless of what the kidnapper said, but Jeremy convinces him not to. He can’t, however, convince Ned not to call his detective buddy, Sam Diamond. Then everyone sits down for a delicious blueberry pancake breakfast. Jessica is overjoyed when Alice says the twins won’t be going to school, and she’s annoyed that Jeremy won’t make out with her because he’s so worried about Sue.

Jeremy goes back to the cabin and is furious to find Sue downstairs and not in the attic where he left her. He hollers at her because what if someone came searching for her? He takes her back upstairs and ties her up – just to keep up appearances, you know. Sue starts to wonder if this is really the best way to get her inheritance. And I don’t get this at all. Sue’s mother’s will stated that if Sue stayed away from Jeremy for two months, she’d inherit the money. So why couldn’t they just stay away from each other for two months? Why all this rigmarole? It’s so convoluted.

Sam Diamond shows up and it turns out it’s really Samantha Diamond. This affords the twins the opportunity to argue about women and careers and stuff, and Liz can’t believe Jessica doesn’t have a shred of feminism in her. I think Jessica sees how obnoxious Feminist Liz can be and is running in the other direction. Anyway, this is not the time or place for such a discussion. Everyone tells Sam what’s been going on. When “the kidnapper” calls again, Sam traces the call and is horrified when it comes back as unavailable. Ah, the advent of the cellular phone. The voice on the phone says that because the Wakefields contacted a detective, he now wants an extra thousand dollars added to the ransom and he wants the twins to be the ones to bring it to him.

Sam tells Jeremy and the Wakefields this whole thing must be kept top secret, so of course Jessica tries to tell Lila. She tells her Sue’s been kidnapped and is being held hostage, but she says it with her hand over the phone for some reason. Lila, of course, misunderstands and thinks the whole Wakefield family is being held hostage. And now it’s turned into another episode of Saved by the Bell.

Lila calls Robby and Todd and they decide they need to get into the house somehow and, I don’t know, overtake the kidnappers or something. Instead of just ringing the doorbell, they decide they need a disguise. Robby’s cousin works for Sweet Valley Power, so Robby says he can get uniforms and maybe a sweet truck. Meanwhile, Jeremy and the Wakefields are just hanging out at home. Jessica is getting pissed that Jeremy isn’t paying enough attention to her, so she goes to Steven’s room and steals the ring Steve was going to wear when he married Cara. Jessica gives it to Jeremy and finally gets his attention.

Ned comes back from the bank with the money, and Sam wires up the twins with microphones and sends them off to make the drop, planning to follow behind them. On the way out of the house, Jessica picks up a camcorder, thinking it might come in handy. After they leave, Jeremy tells Ned and Alice he wants to go to the cabin for some reason. He runs out of the house, pulling a ski mask on as he goes. Just then, Lila, Todd, Robby and Robby’s cousin, Sidney, pull up in a Sweet Valley Power truck. They see a man in a ski mask running across the lawn and figure he must be the kidnapper, so they all hop out of the truck and jump him. When they tear off the mask and see it’s Jeremy, they’re all, “Sorry, man,” and let him go. When someone wonders why he’s wearing a ski mask, someone else says it’s probably a Halloween thing. You people are idiots.

Jeremy goes to the cabin and gets Sue, who’s been tied to a chair in the attic for quite a while now. She doesn’t want to go through with the plan anymore but Jeremy yells at her and forces her into the car. When they get to the dropoff point, Jeremy tells Sue he’ll pick her up later at the Wakefields’ house. Sue gets out of the car and Liz puts the briefcase full of money in a phone booth before running back to the Jeep. Jeremy, wearing a long trenchcoat and a big hat, gets the money from the phone booth and takes off. Sam shows up and tells the girls the money was fake.

Sam, Sue and the twins go back to the Wakefields’ house, where they join Ned, Alice, Todd, Lila, Robby and Sidney for cake and ice cream. Ned proposes a toast to the twins and their bravery, and Liz sympathizes with Sue’s being tied to a chair for two days. Then everyone watches the tape Jessica made during the dropoff. Nobody can see anything identifiable about the kidnapper, except Jessica, who notices the man wearing the ring she gave Jeremy.

Quotes:

“Now, Alice,” said Mr. Wakefield, his voice optimistic, “don’t give up hope. Remember when Elizabeth was kidnapped? We were all so worried, and it all turned out fine in the end.”

Yeah, good times, good times.

“He gave me some bread in the morning and some water during the day.”

Mrs. Wakefield gasped. “But that’s torture!” she exclaimed, slicing another piece of cake and putting it on her plate.

I’m starting to think Mrs. Wakefield is a little “special.”

The Cover: So, to go along with the SBTB-esque quality of the plot, we’ve got a Zack Morris lookalike here on the cover, complete with Zack Morris hair and button-down shirt. Poor Sue is still wearing her witch costume from the Halloween party, and we’ve got great big kidnapper hands playing with the totally awesome cell phone. Jessica’s making a total bitchface.

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Comments
  • Katie September 30, 2009 at 12:56 pm

    Please tell me this series is almost over. My head hurts for you.

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    We’re getting closer, I can feel it!

    [Reply]

  • Lindsay September 30, 2009 at 12:57 pm

    Is that Jess Vogueing on the cover? What the hell is that? Why is she doing that? She can see into my soul!

    Also, Jessica is a selfish biatch. Not that we didn’t already know that?

    The detective’s name is Sam Diamond?! Oh my God that’s classic.

    Wait. What? She gave the ring Steve was supposed to wear to Jeremy and…Why does that even happen? What was she thinking? Oh, I continued reading. Ah-ha! It was a plot device. How lame.

    ” “Now, Alice,” said Mr. Wakefield, his voice optimistic, “don’t give up hope. Remember when Elizabeth was kidnapped? We were all so worried, and it all turned out fine in the end.”

    Yeah, good times, good times.”

    This cracked me up!

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    I don’t know why she’s doing that, but I wish she’d stop. She just looks silly.

    The whole thing with the ring is just…I don’t know. If I were Steve, I probably would have pawned the ring by now and I don’t even get why Jessica gave it to Jeremy. Ugh, thinking too much, I need to stop that.

    [Reply]

    Lindsay Reply:

    I wish Elizabeth had stayed kidnapped. But if I was a betting person, I’d be willing to bet Carl would have paid the Wakefields to take the sanctimonious hobag back with a quickness.

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    Seriously. They would have gotten halfway to that cabin in the woods and he would have turned right around and taken her home.

    [Reply]

  • Girl talk read September 30, 2009 at 1:35 pm

    Wait the series isn’t over yet?? OMG Shannon I FEEL for you!

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    I know, it’s five parts! Too much.

    [Reply]

  • Freckles September 30, 2009 at 1:52 pm

    That bit about the ski mask was classic. What kidnapper waits until he drives away to put on his ski mask? Not the really good ones, which Jeremy obviously is.

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    Ha ha, Jeremy is the best crook I’ve ever seen!

    [Reply]

  • Sandy September 30, 2009 at 2:09 pm

    Jeremy is an a-hole. He cheats on Sue with Jess, then cheats on Jess with Sue. Then yells at Sue when she doesn’t want to go through with the plan, poor thing probably didn’t eat anything. Wait, why I am feeling sorry for Sue? I forgot she was a psycho disease liar.
    Everyone got on my nerves in this recap. Except Lila, the girl has balls!

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    LOL @ disease liar!

    I do kind of love Lila for stepping up and trying to save her friend, even though she was a little dumb about it.
    “We need an elaborate scheme to get into the house! I guess we could just disguise ourselves as friends of the twins, but that’s too easy. We need a plan!”

    [Reply]

  • rachierach September 30, 2009 at 4:29 pm

    Re: this lame plot…I’m speechless. This story arc sucks worse than the other sagas, which I didn’t think was possible. Dear God, Shannon, how do you force yourself to finish these books?

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    It really is bad, and for some reason it’s the longest freaking one!
    I don’t know how I do it, but I just keep going. It’s all for you guys, lol.

    [Reply]

  • Fear Street September 30, 2009 at 4:33 pm

    “You people are idiots.” You can say that again. And again…

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    And again and again and again…

    [Reply]

  • Lori September 30, 2009 at 7:41 pm

    Sue must be “special” too since all she had to do was stay away from Jeremy for two months to get the money instead of staging a kidnapping.

    Maybe there all “special” that would explain everything.

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    It would explain everything.
    This whole storyline is nonsense. They only had to stay away from each other for like three more hours and Sue would have gotten the money. There didn’t need to be a whole kidnapping scheme.

    [Reply]

  • Lorelai October 1, 2009 at 12:28 am

    The bad: Everything about this miniseries. And with five books, there ain’t nothing mini about it, really.

    The good: We’re just 11 scant books away from my favourite miniseries! Is it sad that I’m counting down? Perhaps, but I never got to read the final installment, so I’m pretty amped for you to recap it 🙂

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    You like the “Betrayal” series? I’m actually reading A Kiss Before Dying right now. Actually, I’ve been reading it all week because it’s just so bad/good. This is why I need a head start on the blog sometimes, ha.

    [Reply]

    Lorelai Reply:

    Yes! The High School War (which I’m told is actually the worst in the minseries) was my favourite book growing up, Lord know’s why. It’s ridiculous and over-the-top, but I love it. I’ve been looking for A Kiss Before Dying on eBay for AGES, but can’t find one that’ll ship cheaply to Australia 🙁

    [Reply]

  • megan s October 1, 2009 at 2:59 am

    who is Robby? Did I miss something?

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    http://shannonsweetvalley.com/2009/09/23/sweet-valley-high-108-left-at-the-altar/

    Fourth paragraph down. It was easy to overlook, what with all the stupid Jessica stuff going on.

    [Reply]

    megan s Reply:

    lol thanks

    [Reply]

  • Darren October 6, 2009 at 1:13 am

    Shannon, keep going. I like these reviews. Anybody doing the Sweet Valley Twins or Sweet Valley Kids like you’re doing with reviews like this? Man, they should mention Robin and Kelly more. That was something how Jessica was nearly sent to private school…like Snoopy the dog was sent to obedience school! What Jeremy did was so cruel, if Margo had a brother, this was IT!

    [Reply]

    Shannon Reply:

    Hmmm. Off the top of my head, I know Gourmet Scum and Other Fun Stuff, Little Snarky Two Shoes and Fitzie’s Soda Shoppe each have a few. All three are in my blogroll and they’re all awesome.

    [Reply]

  • Dane Youssef July 25, 2014 at 3:55 am

    “Now, Alice,” said Mr. Wakefield, his voice optimistic, “don’t give up hope. Remember when Elizabeth was kidnapped? We were all so worried, and it all turned out fine in the end.”

    NO, IT DIDN’T! THEY GOT ELIZABETH BACK!

    DAMN IT! WHAT A TRAGEDY…

    –As Always, Dane Youssef

    [Reply]

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