Diablo Cody


Image courtesy of http://www.guardian.co.uk

I’m pretty late to this party, so I’m sure everyone has heard by now that Diablo Cody of Juno fame is in talks to write a screenplay based on the Sweet Valley High books. Not one to let slip by an opportunity to give my opinion on something, I thought I’d tell you all what I think about it.

It looks like there are two schools of thought on this. The first is that this is a terrible idea and that Diablo Cody will ruin our cherished memories of the worst book series ever. To that I say, “Are your memories of Sweet Valley High really that good?” A lot of people also seem to think Sweet Valley High has already had its day on the screen with the television series. And to that I say, “That show was horrible. Let’s try again.”

The second school of thought is that this is a great idea, so long as Cody doesn’t “honest to blog” it up. This is where I stand. I think if she keeps it snarky, doesn’t take the source material seriously (and let’s face it, how serious can you really take it?) and refrains from making the characters talk like the Gilmore Girls, it will be one of the funniest movies ever. Looking at her Twitter updates and the fact that she plans to set the movie in the eighties, I feel like we’re already on the same page here.

In conclusion, I really hope this comes to fruition. I will so be there on opening night.


  • Sadako September 29, 2009 at 4:08 pm

    I do, too. I didn’t read that many of the SVH books but they are a part of our nostalgia and all that.

    Now, if she touches the BSC I may get pricklier and more defensive. 😀


    Shannon Reply:

    Sadako, understood, lol.
    I really do understand where the first set of people are coming from. As Lindsay said to me earlier, it seems like all our childhood favorites are getting torn to shreds. For instance, look at what they’ve done to Strawberry Shortcake:
    But I really feel like Sweet Valley High is so over the top and ridiculous right from the get go that there isn’t much anyone can do to ruin it, lol.


    Karla Reply:

    ZOMG that Strawberry Shortcake is appalling. Can we please stop giving dolls the Roman Polanski treatment? Little girls are not supposed to be sexy.


  • Sandy September 29, 2009 at 5:07 pm

    LOL “look at what they’ve done to Strawberry Shortcake”
    that statement was just funny to me.
    I agree, making it snarky will make it heee-lar-eee-us.
    Kind of like the Scary Movie franchise. Oooh, sequels!!!


  • Sadako September 29, 2009 at 6:02 pm

    Yeah, poor Strawberry! She got the Bratz treatment.


  • HelenB September 29, 2009 at 7:15 pm

    OTOH, Transformers was actually done pretty well! Well, the first movie was. But, IDK, it can be pretty hard to take stuff to the big screen no matter what the source material. I’d argue they did a pretty good job turning Twilight from a terrible book into a mediocre movie, but then look at what happened to Garfield, and Alvin and the Chipmonks (which upset me particularly!)

    I’m still waiting for someone to propose a live-action Smurfs, or Snorks, or My Little Pony…


  • Shannon September 29, 2009 at 9:27 pm

    Helen, you’re not going to believe this, but I have never seen any of the movies you mentioned, lol. I know what you’re saying though. A live-action Smurfs would be horrifying, but also potentially awesome.

    Guys, Strawberry Shortcake was my favorite thing when I was a kid. I still have my Shortcake baby blanket! It really kind of makes me want to cry to see what they’ve done to her.


  • Jess September 29, 2009 at 11:11 pm

    I’m so excited for this! I loved her tweets back to me as Susanne Devlin, and she seems like she knows the books really well. I have hopes that this will outshine the tv series by a LONG shot. I cringe now to think I actually enjoyed that crap on Saturday mornings…I got up EARLY for cripes sake! LOL.

    So yeah, really looking forward to it. Now if only they would remake Flowers in the Attic…


  • Freckles September 30, 2009 at 12:30 am

    I can dig it if she doesn’t try too hard on the dialouge. I just don’t want every character to sound the same…

    Shannon, you haven’t seen Twilight? WHATWHATWHAT? I’m…confused.


  • Christine September 30, 2009 at 12:42 am

    I don’t consider the Sweet Valley books to be a sacred part of my childhood (Hollywood better not mess with Jem And The Holograms though! I live in fear of a Disney-tween-pop-tart version… *shudder*)

    …but I still don’t like the idea of the Juno writer adapting Sweet Valley. I’m not crazy about her writing style. Check out this funny spoof (the Quotes section especially cracks me up): http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awful-movie-database/preciously-awkward-juno.php

    It’s kinda surprising there hasn’t been a Sweet Valley movie before now, actually, considering it’s such a long-running/well-known book series is. Would’ve been better if a movie had been made in the ’80s. Movies made now, set in the past, never seem authentic to me.

    I think if the movie were written earnestly and unironically (yeah, it would’ve *had* to come out in the ’80s), it would be so much more fun to snark on (like the books themselves), than a deliberately, self-consciously “satirical” version.

    I hope they cast a bunch of unknowns so we can believe they are the characters without any distracting real-life-celebrity-knowledge and previous-role-baggage getting in the way.

    But it’s Hollywood, land of Take No Chances and Go For The Easy Money. So I expect to see …hmmm, let’s think of the most over-exposed starlets possible… Megan Fox as a sexed-up dumbed-down Lila, Amy Adams as Amy Sutton (she can play ditzy, plus both Amys are treated like hot stuff despite being quite ordinary looking), and Anne Hathaway as Enid (She’ll have to go back to her Princess Diaries pre-makeover hairstyle though). As for the Wakefield Twins…Lindsay Lohan goes blonde again and reprises her Parent Trap gimmick! Ta Da!

    Gee, I hope nobody from the movie industry reads this blog. I don’t want to give them any ideas. (Stay away from JEM! And damn you for tarting up Strawberry Shortcake! Why must all the innocence of childhood be defiled? Sigh.)


  • Christine September 30, 2009 at 12:58 am

    P.S. Shannon’s not the only one who hasn’t seen/read Twilight 🙂 Just so ya know you’re not alone!


  • HelenB September 30, 2009 at 5:41 am

    Christine – what if they did a Josie and the Pussycats-like version of Jem? The Josie movie is unironically one of my favourites! Otherwise I’d agree with you… no one could possibly capture the truly outrageous nature of Jem.


    Christine Reply:

    Oh! I just noticed you can reply to specific posts here…duh. 🙂 Actually, I liked the Josie movie, but then, I didn’t grow up with the original cartoon, like I did with Jem. So that might have something to do with it. Plus Seth Green and Parker Posey were so funny in it… and the songs were catchy. But there’s no way I’d accept new songs (or even covers of the old ones) for a Jem movie – I love the original too much and will accept NO substitutes! And it would hurt to see Jem made fun of…even gently spoofed, ’cause, dammit, Jem was a GOOD show!


    Shannon Reply:

    Don’t worry, I just got the threaded comments set up today.


  • Shannon September 30, 2009 at 8:42 am

    Jess, it would be so awesome if they’d remake Flowers in the Attic. I would go see that for sure.

    Freckles, I outgrew my vampire obsession about ten years ago. I wasn’t interested in Twilight even before it blew up and became cool to hate, lol. I worked in a bookstore when the first book came out and I remember looking at it all the time thinking, “What a great cover! I would totally read it if it wasn’t about vampires.”

    Christine, I hope they cast unknowns, too. I don’t know…I agree with most everything you said, but I’m still hopeful! Also, I’m glad I’m not the only one who hasn’t seen Twilight, lol.

    Helen, agreed. Jem should not be moviefied.


  • Freckles September 30, 2009 at 1:19 pm

    Well, having read/seen Twilight, I can tell you you aren’t missing anything.

    Too bad you don’t like vampires anymore, just think of how fullfilled your life would be right now if you did! True Blood, Vampire Diaries, Twilight, Cirque du Freak…


    Shannon Reply:

    I know! My teenage self would be in heaven right now!


  • Margo Rising September 30, 2009 at 3:47 pm

    “Are your memories of Sweet Valley High really that good?” LOL.

    Oh God, the way everyone talked in “Juno” absolutely dated it the minute it came out, and not in a fun way.


    Shannon Reply:

    Agreed. I really hope she doesn’t make SVH sound like that.


  • Darren October 3, 2009 at 2:16 am

    Hi Shannon. Listen, the last episode of Sweet Valley the new rewrtiten series has stopped at book number 6 with Elizabeth at the hospital as of December 2008, and it’s been 10 months just about for a book 7 as to ‘Liz’s fate’ (where we know she’ll act like Jessica) so is there any word that a book 7 is being written? I’m holding off on ordering 6 for I hate the cliffhanger where it seems Elizabeth may die and Jessica is worried.

    As for this movie, is it going to be like the Brady Bunch 2 movies where they cram short stories into it? How is that going to work in sweet Valley the movie? I think a TV series is better then a movie anyway. Any chance they’ll get the Daniels twins to revamp Elizabeth and Jessica, or will they go with new twin actresses?

    Please let me know if a book 7 is being written or not from this company. It’s not fair to stop at 6.


    Shannon Reply:

    Darren, I have no idea about the book. I’m not reading the reissues.

    I also have no idea about the movie. I imagine they’ll go with new actresses, since the Daniel twins are in their thirties.


  • cordee October 6, 2009 at 7:02 pm

    I, too, am cautiously optimistic about the movie. I’m hoping they’ll direct it at women in their mid-20s to late-30s, instead of the blingtastic Hannah Montana-loving tweens of today. There is a lot to mock – and that’s where I think so many of us get the enjoyment of revisiting these books. We’re not re-reading them for their literary value, that’s for sure! I just don’t want the subject matter to be taken seriously – that would be the wrong way to go. From reading Shannon’s most recent recaps (as well as others on the Net), there’s not a hell of a lot they could do to “ruin” the franchise anyway. That ship sailed off with the werewolves and the evil twins long ago.

    And, Shannon, I haven’t read Twilight, either…


    Shannon Reply:

    That’s what I’m hoping, too, that it would be targeted at us, not at today’s teenyboppers, and done in a snarky way. That would be just about the greatest thing ever.


  • Darren October 19, 2009 at 7:34 pm

    I’m very happy about the movie possibility, but does anybody know if a chapter 7 is being written out on the reissued Sweet valley? It stops at chapter 6!


  • Jessica Squits the Quad March 1, 2011 at 1:09 am
  • Kylie90210 May 7, 2013 at 7:51 pm

    Well it’s four years later and still no movie… I won’t hold my breath. And just when you think SVH couldn’t be tarnished, FP writes SVC.


  • Dane Youssef April 11, 2016 at 4:21 pm

    I freakin’ love the innocuous, yet rock-star look that Diablo herself–“Ms. Juno” is rockin’ here. She may be good enough to get people interested in returning to the town of Sweet Valley–make these things even worth acknowledging again…

    Sincere Love to Her and Our Blogmaster, Dane Youssef


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