Sweet Valley High #107: Jessica’s Secret Love

SVH107The Moral of the Story: No man can resist a Wakefield.

The Big Deal: Party at the Wakefields’ house


The twins are hanging out at the beach with Lila and Enid, telling them about London. Liz is acting all depressed about Luke, so Jessica drags Lila away to walk along the shore. They start talking about boys and just when they both declare they’re ready for serious relationships, Jessica gets hit in the head with a stray Frisbee. The guys it belongs to are, of course, the most gorgeous men alive. The slightly less attractive one introduces himself as Robby and wants to buy Jessica a soda to make up for the bump on her head, but she and the other guy are too busy staring at each other. Robby and Lila go away, leaving Jessica and her Adonis to profess their love for each other. Jessica thinks she hasn’t felt this way since Sam died. They kiss, and then the guy says this is all wrong, even though it totally feels like they’re supposed to be together. He goes away and Jessica wants to die. She doesn’t even know this guy’s name.

Jessica is heartbroken when she gets back to Liz and Enid at the beach. Liz laughs at her until Jessica says not even Sam made her feel like this. Liz and Enid are shocked, but Liz thinks she can help Jessica sort through her feelings. Ever since the guy with whom she was cheating on her boyfriend turned out to be a serial killer, Liz has been reading a self-help book about relationships to figure out where she went wrong.

When the twins get home, Alice tells them she got a letter from Sue Gibbons, who is getting married soon and wants a California wedding. Sue’s mother, Nancy, was Alice’s college roommate and best friend. Nancy has died recently, and Alice wants to invite Sue to stay with the Wakefields for a month or so while she plans her wedding. When Sue gets there, Liz spends most of her time passing judgment on Sue’s preferences about the wedding. She can’t believe Sue wants to register for expensive gifts, she thinks the ring Sue picks out is too big and she actually chastises Jessica for suggesting Paris as a honeymoon location because Sue and her fiancé, Jeremy, work for a conservation group or something and Liz thinks they should go educate people in Costa Rica on their honeymoon. I hate Liz.

It’s been a week since Jessica’s mystery man left her on the beach and she’s still just as miserable. Everyone is getting ready to meet Jeremy and Jessica is trying to put on a brave face even though she’s destined to a life of loneliness. Then Jeremy shows up, and Jessica is shocked to discover that Sue’s fiancé is her mystery man. They pretend they don’t know each other, but everything he says just proves to Jessica that he was meant for her. Jessica takes Jeremy to the mall the next day so he can buy Sue’s ring. He wants to guess which ring Sue picked, and he naturally picks the one Jessica likes. That night, Sue says Jeremy is taking her to the Carousel, Jessica’s favorite restaurant. Jessica wants to make Jeremy jealous, so she calls every guy she knows, but Bruce is the only one home. She says a friend is on a blind date and she promised to keep an eye on things. At the restaurant, Jessica is pleased to see Jeremy is jealous of Bruce.

Todd’s been out of town this whole time, visiting his grandparents. Liz is taking the opportunity to turn into one of those obnoxious feminists who talk about empowerment or whatever. Todd calls one day and Liz tells him all about how she and a bunch of other girls went to Enid’s to “really explore my own sense of womanhood” because she got so shook up in London. Todd offers to help, but Liz says it’s a girls only thing. Of course, Todd gets upset and hurt. Shut up.

Alice is supposed to take Jeremy to the caterers to meet Liz and Sue, but she has a meeting come up at the last minute and asks Jessica to take him. Jessica directs him to Miller’s Point instead, where they kiss again. Then Jeremy pulls away and says he’s marrying Sue. Jessica gives up and points him to the caterers, where Jeremy and Sue argue over whether they should serve chicken or lobster.

The twins go with Sue to pick up the dresses. They’re going to be bridesmaids, which irks Jessica to no end. On the way to the car, Sue says something about her “bridal underthings” for the wedding night. It’s too much for Jessica and she “accidentally” throws Sue’s wedding dress under a passing truck. Luckily, it’s not damaged, just dirty, and Alice tells Jessica she has to pay to have it cleaned. Liz knows Jessica is depressed that night, so she drags her to a Primal Woman seminar, where women write their own “herstory” and choose new names for themselves. Liz calls herself Runs-with-the-Wind. Jessica thinks the whole thing is stupid and says she’ll just be Jessica, like Madonna or Cher.

Jessica has the house to herself and she calls Jeremy to come over, ostensibly so he can meet Sue and go to the florist. When he gets there, he mentions trying on his tux to see if it goes with Sue’s dress. Jessica tells him to put it on, then runs upstairs to put Sue’s dress on. Then she and Jeremy have a talk. He tells her he really does love her, but he’s made a promise to Sue and he has to go through with the wedding. After he leaves, Jessica realizes the zipper on the dress is stuck. She rips it trying to take it off, but Liz is able to mend it.

The Wakefields throw an engagement party for Sue and Jeremy. Sue says Jeremy and Jessica should dance together, so they do. Jeremy just about loses his mind at how awesome Jessica looks. He says he needs to be alone with her, so she takes him behind some hedges and they start making out.

Just so you know, Jeremy is twenty-three.

To be continued…


“I love weddings. But isn’t eighteen awfully young to be getting married?”

Mrs. Wakefield nodded. “I imagine that, because of her mother’s illness and untimely death, Sue’s probably feeling a little lost. One way for her to feel secure again would be to get married and have her own family.”

And we’re just going to let her do that? Do we really think that’s healthy?

  • “People don’t make mistakes all the time. Women do. Women constantly make mistakes about men.”
  • “If Sue were really strong within herself, maybe Jeremy wouldn’t be attracted to other women.”

So, basically, Liz’s book has taught her that everything that goes wrong in relationships is the woman’s fault.

The Cover: I guess that’s supposed to be Sue looking for her cheating fiancé who’s kissing Jessica behind that tree, but doesn’t she kind of look like she’s trapped in the house and she’s trying to get someone’s attention? And isn’t it strange that the room she’s in appears to be totally empty?

So, it’s become painfully obvious that I am unable to keep up with daily posting. These newer books are longer than the older ones and even more convoluted and horrible. I think that for now I’m going to go with trying to post one miniseries every week, stuffing in Super Thrillers and Magnas wherever they go. So for now, I’m promising at least three posts every week. I have enough stockpiled to last us a while, but I’d rather space them out and make them last.

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  • Carla September 21, 2009 at 2:43 pm

    Hi, Never read this one before, can’t wait to hear what happens next (does that sound sad?!) Love this blog, been trying to start from the beginning and catch up!



  • Sandy September 21, 2009 at 3:01 pm

    So we’re back to Jessica meeting Mr. Right.
    Okay, I understand you’re too tired to do these daily. No pressure here. 🙂


  • Shannon September 21, 2009 at 3:04 pm

    Hi Carla, thanks for reading! If you’re sad then I’m sad for actually inflicting this pain upon myself. Good luck catching up. The posts start out fairly short and sweet, but at some point along the way I turned into a long-winded word monster, taking my average word count from 500 to about 1200 per post, lol.

    Sandy, I tried really hard to maintain daily posts, but too much SVH is really bad for the soul!


  • Kate September 21, 2009 at 3:46 pm

    It IS bad for the soul! Man, these books are terrible! It’s like they took all the sappy perfect awful books from before, and decided to make them longer and without any morals. Interesting choice!


  • Lori September 21, 2009 at 4:05 pm

    Welcome back! I’m missed your posts.

    Jessica meets Mr. Right who happens to be engaged, a Jess that’s not Mr. Right
    Liz you could save your money and simply learn to stop cheating on your boyfriend.
    It cracks me up when Bruce and Lila are more interesting then the twins. Why weren’t they the stars of SVH?


  • Shannon September 21, 2009 at 4:10 pm

    Kate, I think that’s exactly what they did, seriously.

    Lori, good point. Liz does not need a book to tell her she sucks at relationships.

    I missed all of you last week.


  • Merrie September 21, 2009 at 4:17 pm

    Just when you think Liz couldn’t get more annoying … Of course, I’m imagining the whole “Friends” episode when the girls were all about being their own windmakers, or something like that. “How can I grow if you won’t let me blow?” 🙂


  • Shannon September 21, 2009 at 4:21 pm

    Merrie, I kept thinking of that Friends episode, too! All that weird “goddess” feminist stuff freaks me right out.


  • Lindsay September 22, 2009 at 4:53 pm

    *Squee* Welcome back!

    Ah, Alice Wakefield. And we wonder why her kids are all sorts of messed up?


  • Shannon September 23, 2009 at 8:35 am

    Thanks, Lindsay! It’s good to be back. I miss you all when I’m gone. Sadly (for you, not me) I’ll be leaving again soon for a week when I go to THE STANLEY HOTEL! I’ll be gone the week of October 4.

    As for Alice, I don’t know why she thinks she’s such a great mother. Her kids are clearly not right.


  • DarfurHerald September 23, 2009 at 9:13 am

    Wasn’t EVERY guy Jess met “not like (insert name of previous boyfriend(s)”? How was Jeremy so special!? I read one of the books in the Jess/Jeremy/Sue miniseries. It scarred me. xD


  • Shannon September 23, 2009 at 9:14 am

    DH, I know, just like every man is the most gorgeous man she’s ever seen. I guess this guy is special because Sam’s dead and Jessica wouldn’t say a thing like that unless she meant it or something.


  • Lindsay September 23, 2009 at 10:53 am

    *Second squee* The Muthaeffing STANLEY HOTEL! I want details. DETAILS, you hear me, when you get back


  • Shannon September 23, 2009 at 10:54 am

    Lindsay, you will get them! I’m so excited!


  • Freckles September 23, 2009 at 11:45 am

    I hope you like Diablo Cody. Or hamburger phones.



  • Shannon September 23, 2009 at 12:11 pm

    Freckles, I read that this morning. I have no idea who Diablo Cody is though.

    I just clicked the link to your blog and saw Sawyer hair and the Dexter title card. I think I love you already.


  • Shannon September 23, 2009 at 12:18 pm

    Edit: I just looked her up and I’m disgusted with myself that I didn’t get the hint from “hamburger phones.”


  • Sandy September 23, 2009 at 1:52 pm

    Diablo Cody wrote Juno and now Jennifer’s Body. She’s a………creative individual.
    Freaks me out because one line in that article states “Cody’s formative years were informed by the books….”
    Shit! So were mine, now I’m worried.


  • Shannon September 23, 2009 at 1:55 pm

    I loved Juno, but yeah, I’d be worried about that, too, ha ha.


  • Freckles September 23, 2009 at 3:10 pm

    I just assume she’s going to turn SWH into Juno. Juno was fine, but not exactly super best screenplay of the entire year (I’m looking at you, Oscars!).

    Note to Cody, no one actually says “Honest to blog” or “Move on dot org!” so please stop it.


  • Shannon September 23, 2009 at 3:21 pm

    Good point, Freckles. That would be kind of annoying. But Juno is all I know about her. I’ve never even heard of this Jennifer’s Body thing (I live under a rock). She might have all kinds of other tricks up her sleeves.

    I commented somewhere on a blog post about it that if she does it in an ironic way and makes fun of the books, that could be great. If she actually tries to make SVH in the way Francine intended it, like, “Oh hai, this is what a real high school is like,” it’s going to be the worst thing ever.


  • DarfurHerald September 25, 2009 at 12:34 am

    Wait, Diablo Cody is a known person.?? whoa…so the SVH movie thing might not be a hoax (I just wrote ‘horse’ instead of ‘hoax’)


  • bayerngirl74 May 25, 2011 at 5:52 pm

    I always thought that was Elizabeth in the patio door getting all pissy at Jessica for being slutty.


  • thepixiechick August 9, 2012 at 1:00 am

    Am I the only one that howled with laughter at Liz calling herself ‘Runs-with-the-wind’? Sounds like a nasty case of gastro.


  • Kylie90210 May 7, 2013 at 2:23 am

    Ohh I do like this mini-series. Not because of the main plot, because Jessica and Jeremy make me want to kill them, but because of Kennn <3


  • Mad Dog June 17, 2013 at 11:48 am

    The girl in the red dress (Sue?) looks like she is doing a Marcel Marceau type mime.


  • Krista November 2, 2013 at 5:46 pm

    God, Liz’s feminist group sounds like one of those groups where the women literally sit and gaze at their vaginas all night.


  • Kim December 12, 2015 at 4:25 am

    “The slightly less attractive one introduces himself as Robby”

    “Robby and Lila go away, leaving Jessica and her Adonis to profess their love for each other.”

    Kinda funny that Lila gets the less attractive one. Guess only the best guys are reserved for the Wakefield twins. I’m trying to understand how they can profess their undying love or whatever when they literally just met. They don’t even know each other’s names at this point. I don’t believe in love at first sight, so this is completely foreign & unrealistic to me.

    “Jessica thinks she hasn’t felt this way since Sam died.”

    Girl bye. You “fall in love” every other week.

    “Liz thinks they should go educate people in Costa Rica on their honeymoon.”

    Maybe Liz can do that on her honeymoon when she gets married.

    “Jessica wants to make Jeremy jealous, so she calls every guy she knows, but Bruce is the only one home.”

    That’s hard to believe. Jessica has to know every male in Sweet Valley. Maybe they just didn’t wanna talk to her ass.

    “Jessica tells him to put it on, then runs upstairs to put Sue’s dress on.”

    This bitch is putting on people’s wedding dresses and shit, making out with the woman’s fiancé. Jessica needs her ass beat, she is really crossing the line.

    “He tells her he really does love her”

    I’m still confused as to how when he barely even knows her.

    “Jeremy just about loses his mind at how awesome Jessica looks. He says he needs to be alone with her, so she takes him behind some hedges and they start making out.”

    Jeremy clearly ain’t shit. He’s already messing around before they’re married. He and Jessica deserve each other.


  • Natasha November 29, 2016 at 2:28 am

    Why would a 23 year old want to marry an immature 16 year old?? Liz even says Sue sounded too immature to be married. And what the heck is wrong with Liz anyway? She’s taking this feminism stuff too far.


  • Natasha November 29, 2016 at 5:20 am

    After close inspection of the second book in the mini series the girl in the house is def Liz as Sue had short dark brown hair. I spend way too much time looking at these covers lol. The twins are looking awesome though.


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