Sweet Valley High #98: The Wedding

SVH098Synopsis: One of the sucky things about this new miniseries format is the amount of time wasted recapping the previous books.

Elizabeth: Liz feels like it’s a whole new world ever since she was acquitted of manslaughter. She and Enid go to the Dairi Burger and Liz is feeling so good about her life that she orders a hot fudge sundae. Suddenly, Ted Carpenter, a guy we’ve never heard of but who is apparently Sam’s best friend, marches into the Dairi Burger and harasses Liz about having such a good time when Sam is dead. What an ass. Liz, of course, berates herself for having forgotten for a few minutes to feel guilty. Liz gets over it, and people start leaving her alone as the days pass. One day, Todd sees her walking home and offers her a ride. Liz is all, “Fuck off, sister-dater.”

Jessica: Jessica knows she’s losing Todd, so she uses Sam’s death to make him feel sorry for her and stick around. After one last disastrous date, though, Todd tells her it’s over. She refuses his offer of a ride home and starts walking. She ends up at the cemetery and cries for a while. Then she decides to do something “life affirming.” She’s going to plan a dirt bike rally in Sam’s honor. Jessica hears Liz having a nightmare one night and she suddenly can’t bear it. She goes to Liz’s room and comforts her. She’s about to confess to spiking Liz’s drink at the prom, but then Alice comes in all smiley about the twins getting along. Jessica loses her nerve and goes back to ignoring her sister.

Lila: Lila’s mother helps Lila throw a party for all her friends. Lila is grateful, but wishes Grace’s boyfriend, Pierre, didn’t have to be there. Amy, looking scared of something, leaves the party early without telling anyone what’s wrong. She calls Lila the next day and says Pierre came on to her and touched her boob. Lila is outraged for her friend, of course, but she’s also pleased that now she has a reason to get Pierre out of Grace’s life so Grace can stay at Fowler Crest. Of course, she doesn’t want to tell Grace right away because she’s afraid she won’t believe her. She comes up with another plan. She takes an entire day off school to spend with Pierre. She makes sure he gets drunk, then takes him back to Fowler Crest and shoves him in a closet. Then she goes off without him to have dinner with her parents. George is happy Pierre isn’t there, and he proposes to Grace. Grace is hesitant, and just then Pierre comes into the restaurant, hammered out of his mind. The maître d’ throws him out, and Lila follows. She tells Pierre she knows what he did to Amy, and if he goes back to Paris right now, she won’t tell anyone. Inside, Grace and George decide to get married.

Margo: Margo is staying at a boardinghouse in Sweet Valley. She can’t wait to take over Elizabeth Wakefield’s life. She goes to Kelly’s Bar (I’m guessing it used to be Kelly’s Roadhouse) and meets a gorgeous dirt bike racer named James. Margo pays James to enter Jessica’s rally and win. She wants him to get Jessica’s attention and then get as much information about the Wakefields as he can. James does what she wants and then reports back to Margo every night, and all the while, Jessica is falling in love with him. Margo reads about the Fowler wedding in the paper and wants to be there. She tries to get a job with the caterers, but they don’t need anyone. Margo kills one of the servers so they have an opening. Because I guess that’s easier than gatecrashing.

The outcome: The Fowler wedding is a huge success. Maria Santelli is out of town, so Winston asks Liz to be his date. Liz has more fun than she’s had in a long time, and she and Winston get busy cutting a rug on the dance floor. Todd gets jealous and asks Liz to dance. They dance one song, and then Liz thanks him and walks away. Margo, watching from the sidelines, vows to make Todd her boyfriend just as soon as she kills Liz.

Quotes:

The other times this had happened, Todd had allowed himself to melt into the embrace by imagining that it was Elizabeth he was with, and not her identical twin.

God, this guy is disgusting.

The Cover: I suppose that’s Jessica and James over there by the dirt bike track, but they look terrible. That’s not at all how I pictured James. For the main event, Lila looks really bad and George looks like Wayne Newton or something. As for Grace, I get a little creeped out by brides if I can’t see their faces. I think some of it is because of that creepy kid in The Others, but mostly because of that shot in Flowers in the Attic after the mom’s been hanged by her damned bridal veil.

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Damn, that's creepy.

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Comments
  • Sandy August 27, 2009 at 12:32 pm

    Wow. I don’t even know what to say about Margo being a serial killer. So cheesy how Lila’s parents got back together right away.

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    Shannon Reply:

    I know, right? Grace has been in Paris for fourteen years because George was an asshole, but now they’re going to get married?

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  • Girl talk read August 27, 2009 at 12:45 pm

    With the awful tan, I get a real George Hamilton vibe from George Fowler!!!

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  • Jenna August 27, 2009 at 1:03 pm

    Isn’t it a little soon for Jessica to be “falling in love” with another dude? WTF? Her boyfriend just died! Todd’s a total creep and will do anything with anyone that pays attention to him. I think he’s secretly gay and just goes out with chicks as a cover. Otherwise he’d get a clue and not blindly follow every girl that shows him interest. . . and he’d bang them too. Lila, as usual, is the bees knees and I’m glad George Hamilton, I mean Fowler, married Grace. Lila’s wanted that forever! Alice is a robot, the “terrible mother” robot. God these books are infuriating…

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    princess me Reply:

    ha! that’s Jessica Wakefield for you. Completely spoilt, totally selfish, only worried about herself and a complete mole. Look at the self righteous (sp?) look on her face while she’s hanging out with James.

    “Sam Who?” would be her response if you said to her “uh, over Sam are we?”

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  • Megan August 27, 2009 at 2:04 pm

    Oh god. I clicked on the comments before I read the post, and that picture hadn’t even finished loading before I went “Oh hey, that’s from the end of the FiTA movie!” My brain is a sad and scary place.

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  • Misty August 27, 2009 at 3:25 pm

    “Fuck off, sister-dater.” – I wish Liz would actually say this Todd and tell Jessica to fuck off as well.

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  • Shannon August 27, 2009 at 3:27 pm

    Megan, that image has been haunting a back corner of my brain for twenty years now. It may have influenced my decision not to wear a veil at my wedding.

    Jenna, I’m also glad Lila’s parents got back together, even if it is totally cheesy. I kind of love how Lila manages to just do away with Pierre and nobody seems to care.

    Misty, me too. Seriously.

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  • DarfurHerald August 27, 2009 at 5:17 pm

    George Hamilton!! That’s who I was thinking of!!!! *snoooork*
    Alice needs intervention. Todd needs intervention, too. H3ll, ALL of them need intervention! xD

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  • Sandy August 27, 2009 at 5:47 pm

    Did they actually use the word “boob” in the book in reference to Pierre (yes choose a stereotypical French name) molesting Amy? Or did they say BOSOM!?!?

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  • Shannon August 27, 2009 at 6:49 pm

    Sandy, Amy actually said “chest.”

    DarfurHerald, I wholeheartedly agree with the idea of a city-wide intervention.

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  • Lori August 27, 2009 at 9:37 pm

    George Hamilton! That’s exactly what he looks like. I’m happy Lila finally got the family she’s always wanted but her father doesn’t deserve it.

    Jessica if all a guy is doing with you is asking you endless questions and has not gotten into your pants something is wrong. Boys don’t care about your childhood plays or birthdays.

    Margo is awsome. Why gatecrash when you can run someone over? I love how the answer to every problem is kill them.

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  • Lindsay August 27, 2009 at 10:45 pm

    LMAO! George Hamilton.

    I am severely disappointed at Lila on that cover. The dress! The hair! The smile! No, no, no, no, no. I like my Lila haughty and fashionable.

    I want an entire series devoted to Margo. And why does she have to go and wanna kill Liz? I’d help her along if she went and set her sights on Jessica, because the selfish bitch is getting on my last nerve. Then she can go and kill Liz if she wants.

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  • Lori August 28, 2009 at 6:52 pm

    I want an entire series of Margo too. It would be awsome.

    I kind of hoped Margo would kill Liz. She would make an awsome Liz helping others right off the roof or a cliff and terrorize Jessica when she was bored.

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  • barbs June 10, 2010 at 9:35 am

    I think the writer is a huge fan of the Grimaldis of Monaco. Grace is described as a blond beauty just like Princess Grace; moreover, her name is Grace Rimaldi! I prefer Lila’s other covers.

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  • Jessica Squits the Quad December 28, 2010 at 11:24 pm

    “She tries to get a job with the caterers, but they don’t need anyone. Margo kills one of the servers so they have an opening. Because I guess that’s easier than gatecrashing.” Don’t you know it!! That’s how I get into ALL the A-List events! I REALLY wish Margo’s plan had worked. I would love the Wakefield twins to be Margo and Jessica. Down with Elizabeth!!

    Lila was so fantastically awesome in this book. When the thing with Pierre and Amy happened I thought they were setting us up for a Lila-who-cried-wolf thing because of the Nathan Protchard stuff that happened a few books ago, so I’m glad Lila realised that they probably wouldn’t believe her and came up with a way awesomer plan.

    At one point in this book Liz is all “if the trial had taught her one lesson, it was that she’d have to start looking out for herself.” YEAH RIGHT!!! At what point did she look out for herself? All she did was continually say ‘I don’t know’ and rely on daddy to somehow get her off!! And that was the one lesson the trial taught her? What about, don’t drink and drive?

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  • princess me May 1, 2011 at 10:18 am

    oh, Lila, you should have told your mother that the bridesmaids dress she picked out was shithouse. I’m sure you could have chosen something much better on your own.

    but yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay for Lila getting some reasons to smile now. You go girl!

    Jessica, going back to ignoring her sister…. gah. Come here there’s a sledgehammer I’d like to introduce your stupid snooty face to.

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  • Jasmine May 9, 2012 at 5:10 pm

    I don’t remember that scene from Flowers in the Attic. I actually don’t remember that happening, but then again, I only saw the movie once. The book Flowers in the Attic totally bothered me though.

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  • Kylie90210 May 6, 2013 at 11:47 pm

    The thing that bothered me most about this book? Not Margo’s killing rampage. Not Jessica moving on so quickly (although that was second). Not Liz and her crap. GRACE AND GEORGE! WTF? Soo unrealistic!

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  • Kim December 6, 2015 at 11:59 pm

    “George is happy Pierre isn’t there, and he proposes to Grace. Grace is hesitant, and just then Pierre comes into the restaurant, hammered out of his mind. The maître d’ throws him out, and Lila follows. She tells Pierre she knows what he did to Amy, and if he goes back to Paris right now, she won’t tell anyone. Inside, Grace and George decide to get married.”

    So despite having a boyfriend who came with her to Sweet Valley, she still accepts and plans to marry her ex? Without even breaking up with her boyfriend? Wth kind of relationship is this? And Pierre just goes back to Paris with no explanation to his girlfriend why he’s leaving town? Totally unrealistic.

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