Sweet Valley High 1×02: Oracle On Air
Mr. Collins: Hey, twins. The Oracle’s going live with our very own school news show!
Liz: Wow, what a great opportunity! I’m signing up right now!
Jessica: Totally lame.
Russ: Hi, I’m Russ. I’m working on the show.
Jessica: Totally awesome. Mind if I check out some of your…equipment?
Lila: Why are Liz and Enid sitting with me? They’re such nerds.
Bruce: Winston, you and I have just got to stop playing pranks on one another.
Winston: Okay, truce.
Oh, you bastard. The old glue-on-the-seat trick.
Why, Elizabeth. You’re here awfully late.
Oh, hi, Mr. Collins! I’m just doing some fact checking for my audition tape.
Excellent. I’ll just stand here looking creepy until you’ve finished.
Nothing like a montage! An audition taping montage.
God, how can Liz’s tape be so much better than mine? Oh, well, I’ll just switch the tapes. Nobody will ever notice!
Mr. Collins: I can’t believe Liz’s tape was so bad. I was counting on her!
Jessica got anchor and I didn’t? What the hell?
Jessica: Hi, guys. Russ and I are so gorgeous together, aren’t we? Don’t forget to watch me on the air tomorrow.
Jessica: Liz, wake up! You have to write my stories for the news show!
Liz: Fine, but I’ll never help you again!
Bitch stole my audition!
Jessica: Where have you been? I need my stories!
Liz: Fuck off, whore.
Mr. Collins: Come on, Jessica, you’re on the air!
Hi, um, I’m a dumb blonde and I don’t know what to say.
Mr. Collins: I should have known. Go save your sister.
Mr. Collins: You’re in trouble now, girly.
Jessica: Oh, Mr. Collins. Are you going to get the paddle?
Winston: Golly gee, I’m so funny. I love playing tricks on Bruce.
You’re such a nightmare, Jessica, but you’re so darn lovable!
Say, Russ, what say we drive up to Miller’s Point after school?
Russ: Yeah, I don’t think so. You’re really dumb.
Russ: See ya.
Jessica: This has never happened to me before. I don’t know what to do.