Sweet Valley High #67: The Parent Plot

SVH067The moral of the story: The good guys always win.

The Big Deal: Not much to report here. Ned has a rally.

Synopsis:

Ned Wakefield is still living in his crappy apartment and he’s still running for mayor. The twins are working for the campaign stuffing envelopes and whatnot. Liz feels bad for Maria Santelli, whose father had to drop out of the race after being accused of accepting a bribe, so she asks her to help out on Ned’s campaign. Maria goes to the campaign office with Liz and runs into James Knapp, the financial adviser who convinced Ned to run. Knapp is an asshole and makes a snide remark to Maria about her father.

Jessica is determined to get her parents dating other people, but Liz is just as determined to get them back together. Liz comes up with a few ideas to get her parents talking again, but none of them pan out. Jessica has her eye on a woman for Ned. Her name is Amanda Mason and she works for the campaign. But it turns out she’s engaged, so scratch that. She wants Alice to hook up with Mr. Collins, so she uses her bad English grade to orchestrate a parent-teacher conference, during which Alice and Mr. Collins make plans to have dinner at Chez Sam the next night. Unfortunately, Ned has plans to take the twins there the same night.

At the restaurant, everything is fine but Liz seems to think it’s the worst situation ever. Alice and Mr. Collins come over to say hello and end up sitting with Ned and the twins for the remainder of their meal. Everyone gets along great, and then Alice and Mr. Collins leave to see a movie. Liz is monumentally disappointed that her parents didn’t just get back together and start making out right then and there.

Maria goes to the campaign office on Saturday night to get her history book. The phone rings and she picks it up, but James Knapp is somewhere in the office, too, and he picks up the call and speaks before Maria can say anything. The guy calling is Sy Robertson, a man who had worked on Mr. Santelli’s campaign. This is the gist of what Maria hears:

“Basically, Knapp said he framed my father because Dad wouldn’t go along with some big scheme he wanted.”

Elizabeth felt her stomach turn over…

“And that’s not all,” Maria went on. “He was also saying that he’s been working on your father and that he’s going to make your father do certain things once he’s elected mayor.”

I figure I can’t really sum it up better than that. Maria and Liz agree that they can’t tell anyone because they don’t have any evidence. Liz, Maria, Winston and Knapp’s nephew, Terry, get together the next day to talk strategy. Maria says she heard Knapp and Robertson mention a big oceanfront development, so they decide (against Liz’s better judgment) to search Knapp’s office the next night for blueprints of this alleged project. At the office, they make copies of the blueprints and of a canceled check, presumably evidence of the deposit made in Mr. Santelli’s bank account which caused him to drop out of the race. Liz finally decides to tell her dad everything. He’s very upset and Liz suggests he talk to Alice. At the Wakefields’ house, Ned and Alice start talking about ways Ned can expose Knapp and fix things. Liz is sure this is the beginning of the end of the separation.

The next day at his rally, Ned gives a speech about corruption in politics. Knapp, knowing Ned is talking about him, starts running away, but he’s arrested as soon as he turns the corner. At the end of his speech, Ned announces he’s dropping out because he “can’t go on in honor.” Whatever that means. Alice runs up and gives him a big hug.

In the end, Ned moves back home, Mr. Santelli is declared innocent and elected mayor, and Dana Larson is down on love. I guess we’ll find out what her problem is tomorrow. I predict she’s a lesbian having trouble finding any other gay people in Sweet Valley.

Quotes:

The possibility that Knapp was trying to build some kind of development along Sweet Valley’s beautiful coastline was frightening.

Frightening? I mean, sure, it would be crappy and probably ugly, but frightening? You kids need to get out more.

The Cover: Whoa, check out Liz’s bitchface. When I first glanced at this cover, I thought she was Amy Sutton, but it’s clearly Liz being all emo and annoying.

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Comments
  • Jan aka Girl Talk Read June 24, 2009 at 2:55 pm

    I completely forgot about this book- and I know I read it!!! I remembered the first two in this ” miniseries” ( which, icidentally, sucked ass) but I didn’t remember this one till your recap!!!

    You should really try to read some SVU books- I never did as a youngster, but they are SOOOO CRAPPY that they are great to snark on!

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  • Callie June 24, 2009 at 3:49 pm

    Nooooow sheeeee’s a lady
    Dowwwwn on love
    Sheeeee needs somebody
    Toooo gently pick her up

    /Alabama

    *embarassed face*

    Also, these books totally sucked it up. I’d say Ned and Alice are better of without each other, but really, would you want to sentence anyone else to a life time of their ridiculousness.

    Let’s face it, they deserve each other.

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    Shannon Reply:

    I love when you sing to me. <3

    They really do deserve each other. I can only imagine what would have happened if Mr. Collins had ended up with Alice. They’d get married and he’d move into the Wakefield house and “accidentally” walk in on Liz in the shower. And then Alice would get all upset because she’d have to do some actual parenting to take care of her traumatized daughter.

    Wait, what am I saying? Nobody ever gets traumatized in Sweet Valley.

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  • Mara June 24, 2009 at 5:59 pm

    I totally forgot about the entire “Ned and Alice separate” plotline. It really seems so unfitting with the rest of the series in which they seem robotically perfect and hence super well-suited.

    I guess if we can have kidnappings and teen runaways every other week, they can sprinkle in a parental separation now and then.

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    Shannon Reply:

    June 24th, 2009 at 9:15 pm edit
    Shannon Says:

    Well, and it’s so silly because you know they’ll end up together again in the end “stronger than ever!”

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  • Daners Isadora- Bond Girl June 24, 2009 at 9:15 pm

    I remember looking at the cover of this book and getting severely pissed at the fact the twins hardly looked alike. Granted I was 11 at the time and an odd child, but I would fixate on the cover for at least ten minutes before actually reading the book.

    And what’s up with Alice hooking up with Mr. Collins? Haven’t Ned and Alice only been separated for only like a book or so? And wasn’t he dating the French teacher or didn’t they break up before this?

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    Shannon Reply:

    You know, Ms. Dalton the French teacher hasn’t been mentioned in a really long time. I wonder what happened to her. Actually, Mr. Collins hasn’t played much of a role lately, either. Maybe someone told Francine that he was a creepy character.

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  • tracy london June 24, 2009 at 9:18 pm

    i can’t put my finger on it, but there is just something disturbing about mr. collins wanting to knock boots with alice. like you know the whole time, he is squinting and pretending she is elizabeth. or maybe i am just a perv.

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    Shannon Reply:

    If you’re a perv, then so am I. See my above reply to Callie. I had the same disturbing feelings.

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  • Mr. Collins June 25, 2009 at 12:11 pm

    There is NOTHING inappropriate about my relationship with Liz!! I mean, I have to duct tape my squishy to my leg whenever she comes into my office for latenight conferences, and I have her babysit Teddy while I’m still home so I can marvel at how wonderful she is with kids (especially mine), but believe me folks. . . there is NOTHING inappropriate about Liz with her blue green eyes and long blonde hair and legs that go on for daaaayyyys. Todd and Jeffrey are very lucky men. And I hate them.

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    Shannon Reply:

    Oh, Mr. Collins, you can get help! I mean, there are no therapists in Sweet Valley so you’d have to travel a bit, but I know you can overcome this! Or maybe you should just go teach at the university where all the students are above the age of eighteen? While there, you could get together with some of the male students and have a support group for men who like underage girls. Or you can just hang on and wait until Liz is of legal age. Unfortunately, that last option may take much longer than you’d think, as she’s already been sixteen for five years or so.

    Whatever you decide to do, I’m here for you, Roger!

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    Mr. Collins Reply:

    You think I’m going to like Liz when she turns 18? You’ve got to be joking woman! She’ll be all shriveled up and bitchy. I’ve simply got to get to her before she puts out for Todd. Her virginity will be mine ALL MINE!!

    I almost had it when I hired that orderly to kidnap her and make her pancakes. . .

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    Shannon Reply:

    Would you settle for Jessica? She’d probably do you. You do have crinkly blue eyes, after all.

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    Suzanne Devlin Reply:

    If anyone is going to be Roger Collins’ rebound from Liz Wakefield, it’s me. What’s one teeny weeny little false rape accusation among friends? Happens all the time in Sweet Valley! After all, Jessica did it to Todd! Ah, Todd. He too had a piece of my sweet little sixteen-year-old socialite ass. He stood by my side the entire time everybody thought I had MS. Turns out I was really tired. *sigh*

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    Shannon Reply:

    I don’t know, Suzanne. I got the feeling that good old Mr. Collins just wasn’t that into you. Sorry.

    Oh, and I was really sad to hear about your MS and was all ready to be your best friend, but I kind of forgot you existed after we all found out you just had mono.

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    Enid the Penid Reply:

    I can’t wait until university. Then Todd will try to convert my raging crush on Liz to a hetero relationship with him. Little does he know that I’m just hoping that he has a little bit of Liz saliva left to kiss off him. (Honestly, saliva was not what I was going to say, but I’m trying to keep this PG. I’m almost disgusted with myself. Almost.)

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  • Darren September 20, 2009 at 3:47 am

    Did Henry Patman have an idea of what a douche the campaign manager was, or did Henry do it to ‘undercut’ Ned’s marriage and maybe start a thing with Alice again?

    Hey Suzanne, I don’t think you’re a bad girl at all. I’m glad things settled right with you and Elizabeth in the CHristmas story.

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  • Lia March 28, 2013 at 8:50 pm

    Please tell me you’re going to do Sweet Valley University too. Your reviews are hysterical, I am both in love with the mocking, and ashamed for my pre-teen years when I inhaled these stupid books like oxygen. Or crack.

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    Shannon Reply:

    I will, Lia! Eventually…

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  • Alex Kennedy December 2, 2016 at 9:20 am

    The authors keep going on and on about the fact that Mrs W looks like the twins’ older sister. Thus, if Mr C was attracted to Mrs W, it might stand to reason that he might be attracted to the twins as well…

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  • Natasha May 13, 2017 at 2:27 am

    Mr Collins is so inappropriate. Going on a date with the mother of his student? Isn’t there a law against something like this?

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