Sweet Valley High #45: Family Secrets
The Big Deal: Costume party at the country club.
The twins’ cousin Kelly is an only child who doesn’t like the fact that her mother is getting remarried. There’s been a lot of tension between her and her mother, so she’s coming to stay with the Wakefields for a couple months until things calm down. I don’t know how living with the Wakefields is supposed to help Kelly get along with her mother, but what do I know? Kelly enrolls at Sweet Valley High and she looks so much like the twins that they decide to dress alike for her first day. Everyone is just floored by the concept of three Wakefield clones. Liz takes Kelly to the newspaper office where Penny asks her if she wants to write a story about coming back to Sweet Valley, but Kelly can’t remember anything about her life before leaving town when she was eight.
So here’s the scoop on Kelly: her father was apparently a big piece of crap and treated Kelly’s mom, Laura, like dirt, so one night Laura took Kelly and left town with her. She didn’t think Kelly should grow up hating her father so she never told her anything bad about him. This has resulted in Kelly idolizing her father and hating her mother for taking her away from him. It seems she also has nightmares that she never remembers anything about. Everyone in the family knows her dad was a jackass, even the twins, but Ned and Alice have asked them not to say anything. Alice just thinks it’s wrong and that Kelly should know the truth about her father, but she’s respecting her sister’s wishes. Anyway…
Kelly and the twins meet Nicholas Morrow at the Dairi Burger, and after listening to Kelly talk about her dad for a while, he invites her to a costume party at the country club. The twins are going too and the three of them start coming up with ideas for a “triplet” costume. A couple days later, Kelly meets Kirk Anderson, that jerk who played that trick on Penny a while back. Kirk is a total asshole, but for some reason Kelly’s all into him and goes out with him. Then she decides to go to the costume party with him instead of Nicholas.
Kelly’s mom calls one night, but Kelly refuses to talk to her. She’s decided she’s going to live with her father just as soon as he gets back from Europe. The next day at lunch, she goes on and on about how wonderful her father is because he lets her do whatever she wants, and then goes on for a while about how much her mom sucks because she does horrible stuff like ask here where she’s going when she goes out. Jessica is not impressed. When the girls get home, there’s a letter waiting for Kelly from her father promising he’ll be in town for her birthday. Kirk asks her to the Beach Disco that night. He’s a half hour late picking her up and once they’re there, he leaves her alone while he goes to talk to some other chick. But Kelly thinks he’s terrific. Then he stands her up to hang with his ex-girlfriend Marci, giving Kelly lame excuses about Marci having a rough time with her parents and needing a shoulder to cry on. Kelly still thinks he’s just terrific. Liz thinks he’s a douchebag. On Kelly’s birthday, her dad is an hour and a half late and then he only stays for a few minutes before leaving again. But Kelly still thinks he’s just swell. I’m sensing a pattern here.
The twins and Kelly go to the costume party as the No-Evil monkeys. Lila is Princess Di, Jeffrey is a wino, Enid is a hippie and Winston is a bunch of grapes. I totally stole Winston’s costume for Halloween when I was in fifth grade and had purple balloons attached to me all night. Sandra Bacon wins the award for Most Authentic. She’s wearing a Mexican dress, so I guess she went as a Mexican? I don’t get it. Kelly and the twins are a big hit. Kirk shows up as a sexy pirate and he and Kelly leave to have a party of their own.
They go up to Miller’s Point and Kirk starts getting fresh. Kelly wants him to stop but he keeps trying to grab her boobs or something. She kicks him in the shin and he gets pissed and throws an empty beer bottle. Kelly freaks out at the sound of it breaking and runs away. Kirk tries to get her back in the car to take her home, but she’s freaking out too much and tells him to leave, so he does. Suddenly, Kelly remembers her nightmares. In them, she’s eight years old and her father is violently throwing dishes around the kitchen. Kelly realizes the nightmare is a memory. Jean West and Tom McKay find her by the side of the road and take her home. Kelly tells Liz everything she remembers, and Liz tells Jessica and her parents when they get home. Alice decides to call Kelly’s mom and get her to explain everything to Kelly. Laura hops on the first plane from Tuscon and comes straight to the Wakefields’ house. Kelly decides to go home with her mom.
“I can’t believe it! I just can’t be-lieve it,” [Caroline] gushed, her green eyes darting from Jessica to Kelly to Elizabeth. “This is just incredible. You look so—I mean, sure, you can tell the difference, but still! And you’re all dressed the same, too! I can’t believe this,” she repeated.
Jesus Christ, Caroline, go hose yourself off and get a grip.
And their aunt’s plan was for Kelly to grow used to the idea of her new marriage, not to turn her back on it!
Again, I ask how being shipped off to the Wakefields’ house is supposed to help Kelly come to terms with her mother’s marriage.
The Cover: How creepy. She looks just like them. She’s the only one with halfway decent hair, though.