Sweet Valley High #11: Too Good to be True
The moral of the story: If you send your kids to boarding school, they’ll grow up to be the devil.
The Big Deal: Party at Lila’s and another at the lake
Best outfit: Liz – her favorite velvet skirt and a high-necked lace Victorian blouse
Synopsis: Suzanne Devlin is the daughter of a friend of Ned’s who lives in New York. She’s coming to Sweet Valley over spring break and the Wakefields will send one twin to New York in her place. Elizabeth wins the coin toss, but Jessica talks her out of going by making her think Todd will cheat on her while she’s gone.
Suzanne arrives and dazzles everyone with her beauty and charm. She’s so gorgeous she even makes Liz self-conscious about her own “lovely size six figure.” Liz takes her to the school picnic at the lake and the boys all fall in love with her. Then Suzanne pretends to be drowning so Mr. Collins, he of the crinkly blue eyes, can save her.
A few days later, Suzanne steals Liz’s necklace. Then she offers to drop something off with Mr. Collins and flirts with him unsuccessfully while she’s there. Then Todd shows up with Lakers tickets and Suzanne offers to take over Liz’s job babysitting for Teddy that night so Liz can go to the game.
Now, if I’m Mr. Collins and this slutty high school chick I already don’t trust shows up unexpectedly to watch my kid, I’m staying home. But, “it’ll have to do.” As soon as he’s gone, Suzanne ignores the kid, goes through Mr. Collins’s stuff and takes a bath in his tub. Creepy. When he comes home she tries to seduce him, but he rejects her. Burn! She storms out in a huff and walks home, purposely ripping her shirt on the way. When she gets back to the Wakefields’ house she tells Liz that Mr. Collins attacked her. And Liz believes her. It’s the scandal of the century.
Then, just before Todd picks her up for the big party at Lila’s house, Liz finds her necklace in Suzanne’s suitcase. Now, you mustn’t think she was snooping! Elizabeth Wakefield would never, ever do something like that. She was just trying to make some room for the gift she’d bought for Suzanne. Ugh. Confused about the necklace and worried Suzanne might have lied about other things, Liz has Todd swing by Mr. Collins’ house on the way to the party. She finds out Suzanne lied and vows that she won’t get away with it.
At the party, she confronts Suzanne, who confesses to everything. Before Elizabeth can do anything about it, Suzanne starts telling everyone Liz is acting weird, like that time after the motorcycle accident. Well played, Suzy. Ruin her credibility before she even has a chance, you devious minx. Enid comes to Liz in tears and tells her what everyone is saying, so Liz marches up to Suzanne, right there in front of everyone, and tells her to stop spreading lies. Winston, who had heard Suzanne’s confession earlier, spills a well-timed drink on the evil bitch’s white dress. Suzy loses her cool and turns into a monster, screaming and crying. I picture everyone backing away from her with horrified expressions on their faces. So Mr. Collins gets his job back and everything is terrific again.
Oh, and in New York, Jessica almost gets raped by Suzanne’s boyfriend. No big deal.
Quotes:
“Ned, didn’t you say she’s gone to boarding schools most of her life?” She sighed. “I suppose there’s nothing wrong with it, but I don’t see how I ever could have sent you kids away like that. Maybe I’m just old-fashioned, but I think children belong at home until they’re ready for college.”
Thanks, Alice. I will sure take that into consideration, considering how well your kids turned out. I mean, you have Goofus and Gallant for daughters and a son who comes home from college every weekend to hang out with high school kids. You’ve done an amazing job.
Steven: “If you turned sideways and stuck your tongue out, you could probably pass for a zipper.”
Liz: “Don’t I wish!”
Ugh.
Jessica and the number 137
“I’ll probably never set foot out of this dumb town for the next hundred and thirty-seven years!” p. 6
“The Devlins – well, it would take me a hundred and thirty-seven years to describe them.” p. 69
The Cover: Doesn’t Suzanne just look like a snobby bitch? I kind of just want to punch her in the throat. She reminds me of someone, but I can’t put my finger on it. And I love the snarky look on Liz’s face. Oh, and can Liz please, please do something else with her hair? The whole pulled-back-with-barrettes thing is so old.
Tags: Daddy Issues, Party: at Lila's, Party: at the lake, Sexual Violence, Spring Break
March 24th, 2009 at 4:49 pm
“If you turned sideways and stuck your tongue out, you could probably pass for a zipper.”
I…don’t really get this. Is he saying Elizabeth is skinny? Silver? Has hundreds of teeth? Belongs on the crotch of his pants? WTF, Steven?
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Anonymous Reply:
June 11th, 2011 at 4:48 pm
It means she is really skinny because Liz said something about Steven’s bod being puny. So he used the zipper thing to retaliate.
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Shannon Reply:
June 14th, 2011 at 10:50 am
I think Whitney was joking.
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Cara Walker Reply:
August 23rd, 2011 at 2:11 am
From what I know of this family inner workings- Steven meant the crotch of his pants!
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May 5th, 2009 at 9:32 am
I’m disappointed Liz could so easily believe Suzanne’s lie about her favorite teacher, adviser, counselor and friend. Hasn’t Mr Collins shown Liz more faith in her writing ability to warrant more trust, more understanding?
And the name “Suzanne” must be synonymous with “bad” and “troublemaker.” There’s this Suzanne and then there’s Suzanne Hanlon from book #27 Lovestruck.
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June 9th, 2009 at 8:40 am
OMG what you said about Alice Wakefield is HYSTERICAL- Goofus and Gallant HAH HAH HAH!! Yeah seriously I don’t see where keeping her kiddies home served them so well- Steven is like always at home now!
Personally if I ever have a kid I am sending her ass to boarding school at Miss Porters- the teen years suck anyway!
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July 13th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
So Liz just calls Suzeanne on her bullshit, but won’t say anything to her perfect, petite twin? WTF?
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caligirl76 Reply:
October 4th, 2011 at 3:53 pm
I know! lol
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January 12th, 2010 at 1:25 am
Liz’s outfit sounds kind of cool. I’d wear it with Docs, though.
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Shannon Reply:
January 12th, 2010 at 9:18 am
Yeah, that’s about the only way I’d ever wear it. Liz isn’t cool enough for Docs, though.
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Karla Reply:
January 21st, 2010 at 1:48 am
Lynne Henry and Lois Waller are the only two SVHers who are Doc-worthy, in my arrogantly humble opinion.
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Shannon Reply:
January 21st, 2010 at 9:05 am
You’re absolutely right. Maybe Betsy Martin, but she’s cool, she goes to art school.
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Karla Reply:
January 21st, 2010 at 10:23 am
True, and she dropped out. Molly Hecht might wear Docs.
It’s just so unfair that these SVH bints have the money to buy all these cute steampunk clothes but have absolutely no idea how to work them! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must go stuff my face with the candy bars I keep in my purse at all times.
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dirtywingsgirl Reply:
January 30th, 2010 at 9:36 pm
Maybe Dana would wear Doc’s…although she might be more of a Chuck Taylors gal I suppose. One who would actually wear one of those pre-ripped store-bought shirts with “Punk” written on them.
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January 30th, 2010 at 9:33 pm
“She reminds me of someone, but I can’t put my finger on it. ”
She sort of looks like Angelica Houston to me.
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July 19th, 2010 at 1:14 am
Oh Liz. Always willing to believe the best of everyone. Doesn’t Suzanne come back in a super edition?
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October 4th, 2010 at 8:03 am
“She reminds me of someone, but I can’t put my finger on it.”
Bella Swan (Kristan Stewart) in the Twi(fail)light movies.
Acts the same too.
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May 29th, 2011 at 2:11 pm
Suzanne kind of looks like Debi Mazar!
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Cara Walker Reply:
August 23rd, 2011 at 2:14 am
She does!
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