Sweet Valley High #5: All Night Long

The moral of the story: It’s okay to stay out all night with a boy as long as you convince someone to cover for you.

The Big Deal: A party after the surfing contest.

Best Outfit: Dana Larson – oversized t-shirt over a red striped miniskirt, purple tights, black suede ankle boots

Synopsis: Jessica goes to a party at the lake with some guy named Scott and his college friends. He gets drunk and tries to get Jessica to sleep with him, but she fights him off and he gives up. They argue and he won’t give her his car keys. Then he falls asleep. So my question is, why doesn’t she take his keys while he’s sleeping? Instead, she curls up on the floor and goes to sleep herself.

Elizabeth goes to school the next day and pretends to be Jessica to keep her out of trouble. Everyone tells her she shouldn’t be such a doormat, but she’s “fiercely loyal to her twin” and won’t hear a word against her. Liz and Todd have a fight and break up.

Then, get this, Jessica gets mad that Liz failed a test she’d taken for Jessica. What a bitch. Then Liz and Todd make up, so that’s all good. And then Jessica finds out she can retake the test so she’s not mad at Liz anymore. Bill Chase wins the surfing competition and all is right with the world.

I don’t know what purpose the surfing competition serves in this book.

Quotes:

The problem was that no matter how much Elizabeth protested, Jessica knew her sister would always end up helping her out. And she unhesitatingly took advantage of that whenever she thought she could.

So, hey, here’s a thought: Stop helping her out!

The Cover: Holy mustache, Batman! This guy looks about thirty and Jessica looks like a crackwhore.

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15 Responses to “Sweet Valley High #5: All Night Long”

  1. R. G. Quimby Says:

    Hah! I know Scott is a college guy and the mustache is supposed to make him look older, but to me, he just looks waaaay too much like Freddy Mercury.

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  2. outpostroad Says:

    Oh my god, he so does!

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  3. nugirl77 Says:

    Creepiest SVH book cover ever! :) Can I just say, Liz at 12 yrs-old (ie in the SVT series) shows a lot more spunk than she ever does at 16? She stands up to Jess a lot more, and doesn’t abuse her own reasoning and logic quite so much when they’re both in middle school. It’s why the SVT spinoff (well, up til about book #50-odd, not including the always-weird Super Editions) is more satisfying to read sometimes than a SVH book. :)

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  4. Raven Tiger Says:

    lmao Scott looks like he has a porn mustache. I’ve been reading your blog for awhile. Great snark.

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  5. Anners, Lover of Chandler Says:

    Is it possible to contract an STD from a book cover? They look dirty. I vaguely remember being ashamed to have this book in my possession.

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  6. purplepoint Says:

    I was a bargain bookstore last night and I saw this book! Ohmigosh, on the mustache — I KNOW, RIIIIGHT?? Seriously, he looks like some goon! The mustache is OUTRAGEOUS, I almost died laughing when I got home and told my sister why I didn’t buy it!

    The paradox here is, the way his back is arched, makes him look a bit gayish… :-/

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    Shannon Reply:

    Oh, he totally looks like a Village Person.

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  7. thea Says:

    the crack head comment is what really got me going. u’re hilarious.

    i wished i knew where i could get my hands on these books locally.

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    Shannon Reply:

    Ha, thanks!

    If you have a used bookstore in your town, you should look there. My town doesn’t have one so I had to get all mine from eBay.

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  8. Casey Says:

    Just came across this blog, loving it!! My problem with this book – so it’s all about Jess meeting this college guy & being no match for him & all, and the entire back cover is dedicated to this… yet it’s all over by chapter 4? And after that, the only part of the plot relevant, is Liz taking the test & Todd being a bitch… Pretty sure Jess doesn’t ever even explain to Liz or talk to her about it?? Pretty much, the whole main plot of the story, is over by chapter 4. I’m sure there’s many times jess has skipped, or nearly missed tests, and over one hundred and thirsty seven times Liz has had to bail her out of something, so it’s not like the fact Liz is taking this test for her is really that big a deal, cause it wouldn’t be the first time something like that happened… I don’t know, I just expected a tad bit more than him being a jerk, and then Jess not coming home till the next morning. Big whoop… he wasn’t even mentioned after that!! Haha, so I maybe got a tad worked up over this? =P

    I was also creeped out by the picture on the front cover. And also creeped out how every single book, when describing their mother, never fails to mention how beautiful she is, obviously where the twins got their good looks from, and how youthful she looks, making her more likely to be mistaken for their sister. And how absolutely perfect, stunning, spectacular, adorable, etc the twins are ALWAYS described as… golden web of silk for hair, sparkling turquoise eyes, model-like figures, perfectly proportioned… wow, set high standards much?? That, and ALWAYS, never fails… “Elizabeth was only 4 minutes older than her sister, but sometimes, it felt more like 4 years’. Maybe so, but that’s only because Liz is such a boring, stable, responsible stick-in-the-mud =P Least Jess has some spark and personality to her! Wow, reading that, you’d never guess how much I love these books, hey! Lol

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    Sarie B Reply:

    You forgot to mention the golden tans spent from “hours in the California sunshine”! I love these books. They are so ridiculous.

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    Carol Reply:

    We must not forget Elizabeth’s ‘beauty mark’ on her shoulder LOL

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  9. sarah Says:

    I had this one! The funny college guy with a mush. I think I had a crush on that pic.

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  10. Kylie90210 Says:

    This book was really bad, and in SV world, that means really bad. The mustache gets me each time though.

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  11. Suzanne Says:

    Freddie was WAY better looking than 1970′s pornstache up there!

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